Posted on 12/27/2004 8:42:48 AM PST by Houmatt
I am not sure I know where to begin.
On Friday, December 17, I was arrested and charged with a Class B Misdemeanor, the first time I have been arrested and charged with anything.
Over the next seven days and six nights that I spent in the custody of the authorities awaiting bail, I found my wife of six years, the woman I had given my life and love to, had decided she had had enough of me, saying I had hurt her emotionally and she could trust, rely on or understand me. She intends to file for divorce next month.
I would guess I should have seen this coming. She had told me the feelings she had had for me before were not the same, and this was something she had been agonizing over for a while. It is not easy when the woman you love and are married to lives 200 miles away across the border in Canada. She would come over once a month and stay a weekend, but there was a five month period this year when she had been out of work due to an infection in her right leg. As I am sure you can understand, separation does not always make the heart grow fonder.
What I do know is I love her very, very much. She was my best friend, my lifeline, my reason for being. She helped fill the void in my life. I could apologize ten thousand times and tell her that, yes, I was not the husband she expected me to be. I know I failed her, and I not about to stand in her way when it comes to divorcing me, even if I am of the ilk those vows I took over six years ago were supposed to mean something. She needs a release, to not have to worry about getting me up to Canada or if I have money or food anymore. She needs that break.
I just would like it if we could at least be speaking terms, waving hi to each other on the phone or the net, trading e-mails and cards and so forth.
The other thing that scares me though is the possibility I may go back to jail. Even if it is my first offense, and a misdemeanor, I may still go back. Those days I had been inside scared me like nothing else in a very long time. I know I did something incredibly stupid and there is not a moment where I do not think about how I should have turned left instead of right that day. I also know I must take responsibility for my actions. I just don't want to go back to jail.
I have been praying ever since then for two simple things:
1) Terri (my wife) can receive the solace she is searching for and want to at least talk to me again.
2) That I get probation.
For those that are wondering: I have done enough stupid things. That is one stupid thing I will never do.
As much as I hate to admit it, yes, men do cry. I am right now. I am sorry.
Prayer is good, I suppose, but what you really need is a lawyer. Do you have one? And I don't mean a public defender, I mean, your own lawyer.
In a word, no. I cannot afford one at all.
ping
Buffalo Ping! Houmatt needs Prayers and advice, Lawyers anyone?
What did you get arrested for?
Misdemeanor's usaully don't mean jail time.
Who is the Judge?
Where were you arrested?
By Erie County Sheriffs, State Police, Buffalo?
When is your next court date?
I was arrested in Amherst by Amherst Police and arraigned by Judge Klein. My court date is January 26. I am trying to get ahold of the lawyer assigned to me and my case since this morning.
What were you arrested for that they kept you in lock-up for 7 days? Amherst NY?
And, yes, Amherst NY.
Yup, Amherst labeled the safest community many years in a row.
The cops there are tough.
Massachusetts, if I go near that state the cops smell me and I end up in jail.
I was arrested 20+ years ago and still have a warrant out for my arrest.
No one knows why, no one can tell me how to get rid of it.
I even asked a judge 10 years ago about the statute of limitations, he said it doesn't apply in Mass.
I come from a family of cops, 2 cousins on Mass State police and my Grand Father was a Chief of Police in Hopkinton.
You still think I could get probation? I honest to God do not want to go back to jail, believe me.
What is the charge?
The details are critical before I could answer that honestly.
But, misdemeanors usaually don't carry a jail sentence especially if this is the first time you have ever been arrested and don't have a record.
One thing I've learned... once your name gets in 'the system'... it never gets 'deleted'. Justice often only comes with (1.) a good lawyer and (2.) a judge with common sense.
While the first just requires money... the latter requires luck.
Amen Dolly..
#1 priority at this point is him and the current situation.
I'll leave the women thing up to you gals.. : )
Freep mail is a good thing for embarrasing or private info.
It is impossible to say if you do not post the charge.
Nobody can find the original charge.
No judge, no cop, no court, no probation dept.
I have resigned myself to staying out of my home state.
I pray that you can patch this up w/ your wife, but if you can't, I know that you can survive what is to come.
I have been through it and have come out stronger. You can too.
You have freepmail.
Prayers are up. It is hard to read your story without crying myself. I hope somebody will offer to take your case for free or something.
It is obvious he does not want to post the charge for embarrassment. If you are a lawyer, he may give it privately in Freepmail or something.
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