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Laura Bush Creates Massacre at Free Republic
Counterjab ^ | 05/06/2005 | Chris Davis

Posted on 05/06/2005 6:53:22 AM PDT by writer33

Fresno—In a joyous revelation, Laura Bush created Free Republic’s very own version of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, causing the death of the coupe de grace of the coupe de tat. It appeared that posters—known as Freepers—were bickering so much about Laura Bush’s jokes in Washington that they resorted to cannibalism, dismemberment and decapitation of each other in defense of their position on the first lady’s comments.

The posts on the forum reportedly became so hostile that Jim Robinson, the bigoted owner of the site, was forced to pull one of the threads, leaving a lone thread for the carnage to commence as Freepers slaughtered each other.

Along with the hysteria that the closed-minded robots forced on innocent victims, redneck, Christian conservatives were pitted against ignorant, secular and hedonistic conservatives. In a clash of mental midget titans, radio icons, Michael Savage and Bill Bennett, were savaged by unsubstantiated, venomous attacks in this bloodbath. There was, of course, the typical bashing of the New York Times as the witless, free-for-all comments commenced.

“Savage is a pinhead, and everybody else who is getting an attack of the vapors over this little lark needs to think long and hard about the aid and comfort they're giving the enemy,” posted steve-b, an ignoramus of ill repute, taking first amendment rights to their idiotic conclusions.

However, steve-b’s asinine posts didn’t end there. In his address to Wallace T., he slammed Bill Bennett’s for his comments on the Laura Bush’s jokes. “I still think Bill Bennett was massaging out a cramp he got from trying to work a balky nickel-slots handle.” The carnivores were out and just getting started.

Pippin joined the slaughter of the innocents, commenting, “Someone should tell Michael ‘Bush is scum’ Savage to SHUT HIS BIG FAT MOUTH!” Immaturity was in the air as the obvious kindergarten antics were in full force.

The Leatherfaces of Free Republic also began to hack and slash with intellectual immaturity, attacking the Christian right. “The people who are feigning moral disgust at what Laura said are nothing short of perverted,” whined ohioWfan. “Not one solid, moral Christian I know on this forum—and in my 'real' life—thought the First Lady's comments were immoral. Those who are screaming the loudest are complete frauds.” The only fraud here was the lack of any grain of moral fiber whatsoever from ohioWfan. As we’ve all heard, “A hit dog always hollers.” Well, the hit dogs were screaming bloody murder on May 3, 2005.

“I love the ‘holier than thou’ crowd going nuts and analyzing every word, trying to better up one another,” hammered repinwi, with a post that could’ve come straight from the Democratic Underground.

“Holier-than-thou nut jobs pretty well sums it up,” blasted Samwise, an unwise hobbit and moron.

“You would have a problem if it were a Hallmark movie,” screamed the repugnant repinwi, assaulting Iscool, a person that only espoused Christian beliefs, and was rumored to be far more morally superior.

And finally, the person that spewed more drivel with ten hours of mindless attacks on the Christian right, posted, “I hereby officially call to order the Free Republic Anally Retentive ‘Holier Than Thou Prudes’ on Parade!” This is typical coming from a person that’s only happy when miserable, better known as the type of person that embodied the Leatherfaces of Free Republic, verbally hacking to pieces innocent victims in broad cyberlight for all to see.

Laura Bush, the First Lady of the United States, has now brought down a forum that no liberal could ever touch. Lawmakers and pundits across America took notice at the carnage.

“This is wonderful,” yelled Dianne Feinstein, D-CA. “I’ve detested that site for years! Knowing that it’ll be gone will encourage me to continue to ramrod California for years to come!”

“I think it’s hilarious,” mocked Al Franken. “We’ve all known these people eat their own. And to do it over the First Lady is just the best gift a liberal could have!”

Even one of the United States greatest presidents, Bill Clinton, noted, “It’s great news! I hated that site when I was in my second term. And to think it won’t be around when Hillary runs in 2008. You’re the best Howlin. Thanks!”

Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, known for not mincing words, said, “Boy, will this help during my upcoming campaign. I won’t have these fascists kicking me around anymore. Bye, bye, Free Republic! I’ll keep you in my thoughts.”

In an address to Freepers everywhere, MoveOn.org commented, “Free Republic, known as the premier conservative forum, has become what it despises the most: The Democratic Party. In their Texas Chain Saw Massacre of the Christian right, they have left a pile of bodies and joined the likes of liberals everywhere with their unabashed hatred. They have sadly departed logic and resorted to kindergarten antics and insults, forever stomping out conservatism on the forum. We’re thrilled!”


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Computers/Internet; Conspiracy; Humor; Miscellaneous; Politics; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: chrisdavis; howlin; laura; laurabush; ohiowfan; whcadinner
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A special thanks goes out to the inside Freeper report.
1 posted on 05/06/2005 6:53:22 AM PDT by writer33
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To: blackbart.223; speedy; HitmanNY; NYTexan; bitt; Stellar Dendrite; Glenn; Lokibob; kellynla; ...

Ping!


2 posted on 05/06/2005 6:53:58 AM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33
Aw, they always sugar-coat things.
Why don't they say what they REALLY mean?
3 posted on 05/06/2005 6:55:31 AM PDT by starfish923
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To: writer33
"We’re thrilled!”

I guess after losing election after election after election, one has to take what meager pleasure they can find.

4 posted on 05/06/2005 6:58:29 AM PDT by bikepacker67
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To: writer33

ROTFLMAO!!!! So true, so true.


5 posted on 05/06/2005 6:58:42 AM PDT by RushCrush (Next thing you know Bill Clinton will be advocating celibacy!)
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To: writer33
causing the death of the coupe de grace of the coupe de tat.

Is the mangled French intentional, or inadvertent?

6 posted on 05/06/2005 6:59:11 AM PDT by Tax-chick (The short, gray-haired lady, with all the kids.)
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To: writer33

Nice work. Maybe this is the thing we need to think about before attacking one another next time.


7 posted on 05/06/2005 7:00:20 AM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
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To: writer33

After reading that I FINALLY understand what hate-speech is!

They miss the point that we FReepers enjoy the dialog, the dicourse and the disagreement. When it's over, we go right back to FReeping.

I'm glad they don't get even close to understanding "us".


8 posted on 05/06/2005 7:00:37 AM PDT by Blueflag (Res ipsa loquitor)
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To: writer33

How dare you join the food fight, in pitting good FReepers against each other! Don't we have enough criticism from the DUmmies without you piling on! We just need to all get along! ;o)


9 posted on 05/06/2005 7:01:10 AM PDT by LUV W ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: writer33

ouch


10 posted on 05/06/2005 7:01:55 AM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (The quiet ones are the ones that change the universe. The loud ones only take the credit)
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To: writer33
All I can say to this is that I hope many people here "Get it".....

I get it.

Good work.

11 posted on 05/06/2005 7:02:35 AM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross (Code pink stinks!)
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To: writer33
"Bye, bye, Free Republic! I’ll keep you in my thoughts.” Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
12 posted on 05/06/2005 7:03:19 AM PDT by cripplecreek (I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!)
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To: writer33

I'm deeply offended and I want everyone to know that I am :-)


13 posted on 05/06/2005 7:04:02 AM PDT by MJY1288 ( LIBERALISM IS FOR INVERTEBRATES)
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To: writer33; Pippin
Pippin joined the slaughter of the innocents, commenting,
“Someone should tell Michael ‘Bush is scum’ Savage
to SHUT HIS BIG FAT MOUTH!” .....

Hey, you're a star, Pippin! :)


14 posted on 05/06/2005 7:04:49 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: Blueflag
It depends. There is disagreeing and then there is bashing and baiting.

At some points lately it has crossed the line from one to the other.

15 posted on 05/06/2005 7:05:01 AM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (The quiet ones are the ones that change the universe. The loud ones only take the credit)
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To: writer33

And I hear the liberals were all p-o'd about her stand up routine too. Per Rush the NY Times publishes a bunch of complaining letters from whiny liberals.

Laura Bush, the new Lenny Bruce!


16 posted on 05/06/2005 7:06:36 AM PDT by jocon307 (Irish grandmother rolls in grave, yet again.)
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To: writer33; Alamo-Girl; onyx; ALOHA RONNIE; SpookBrat; Republican Wildcat; Howlin; dixiechick2000; ...
Laura Bush Creates Massacre at Free Republic

Ping, ya'll! :)


Please let me know if you want ON or OFF my General Interest ping list!. . .don't be shy.


17 posted on 05/06/2005 7:07:36 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: writer33

"It appeared that posters—known as Freepers—were bickering so much about Laura Bush’s jokes in Washington that they resorted to cannibalism, dismemberment and decapitation of each other in defense of their position on the first lady’s comments."


This jackass SOB obviously doesn't watch this place much. He thinks every1 here is in lockstep. How many issues come up where alot of us end up fighting anyway? Schiavo, South Park, nude paintings, dog breeds, Israel, Bush twins' capers; the variety of opinion is obvious from the fighting that often ensues.

"Laura Bush's remarks" isn't the 1st time it's happened and won't be the last.

What a maroon.


18 posted on 05/06/2005 7:08:06 AM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: writer33

LOL!!!!!!!!!


19 posted on 05/06/2005 7:08:21 AM PDT by Gabz (My give-a-damn is busted.)
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To: writer33

Hey did you spell check this one? ;)


LOL!


20 posted on 05/06/2005 7:09:36 AM PDT by txradioguy (In Memory Of My Friend 1SG Tim Millsap A Co. 70th Eng Bn ...K.I.A. 25 April 2005)
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