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South Park Conservative Party
Me ^ | 05-27-2005 | Jeff Stamper

Posted on 05/27/2005 7:57:06 PM PDT by America_Right

Greetings, fellow South Park Conservatives. I have been seriously considering our options as a legitimate and viable political party. The other parties, well, we just don't fit in with them.

Dems: Self explanatory. Socialist weasels that go against the very grain of everything we believe in.

Repubs: Ever-moving to the left. Currently outspending the most liberal of Democrats on everything except defending our borders, which is what their (the Federal Government's) job is supposed to be. They also want to legislate morality and tell us what we can and can't do/watch/say here in this "free" country. They are also just too moralistic and religious for us. Why should the President have to ask God for advice on every decision? Oh, and of course, their biggest flaw, NO GUTS. These guys are a bunch of whiny little pansies when it comes down to fighting the socialists. It's like they are afraid of offending someone. Sheesh. I am no longer associated with this party of linguini-spined do-nothings.

Constitution Party: A good platform, but WAY too religeous. They will have everyone going to church every Sunday under pain of death.

Liberatarians: Another good platform, but they actually want open borders. No freakin' way.

South Park Conservative Party: "America, f-yeah!" We want the government to do what it was meant to do, and no more. Stay out of our lives as much as possible.

I am not going to post an entire platform here (yet). But, I will soon be working one up if I can get some support and can get enough info to actually know how to set up something like this. Imagine seeing a name with "South Park Conservative Party" next to it on the ballot next time you vote! Only problem I have now is, what will Matt and Trey, not to mention Comedy Central, have to say about us using that name?

Thanks for listening,


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Computers/Internet; Government; History; Miscellaneous; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: 3rd; 3rdparty; anotherparty; conservative; newparty; party; politicalparty; southpark; southparkrepublicans; third; thirdparty
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I have posted more at the other forum on southparkconservatives dot com. (See source URL) If you think you may be part of this growing mindset, please read the thread over there and POST YOUR OPINIONS. For those of you who don't know who SPCs are, well, we are very conservative folks who like rated R movies, can curse, drink, smoke, and actually have fun with our lives!
1 posted on 05/27/2005 7:57:07 PM PDT by America_Right
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To: America_Right

Where do I sign up?

2 posted on 05/27/2005 8:04:51 PM PDT by KoRn
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To: KoRn

Click on the link where it says "Me" at the top of the post. You can read the other forum where I have more info.
Unfortunately, I just started this today, so I haven't been able to sign anyone up just yet, except for Mike Church, the radio host. THAT was a big fish to land, right there. Nationwide conservative talk show host. Woohoo!!! Gonna get lots of plugs from him.

Thanks for your interest, though. We need to get LOTS of people in on this if it is gonna work.

3 posted on 05/27/2005 8:09:14 PM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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To: America_Right

Nothing really to sign so just keep us updated. Good luck, I'd like to see it take off.

4 posted on 05/27/2005 8:14:29 PM PDT by KoRn
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To: KoRn

I am going to do my best to get this going. Spending the whole weekend on it (non-stop, very little sleep), and updating FREQUENTLY on both forums. I should have a rough draft of the Party Platform done by Sunday.

I am also going to link my postings to every conservative blog/forum/website I can find. That is gonna be a lot of work in and of itself!

5 posted on 05/27/2005 8:21:09 PM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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To: America_Right

Ok, I have been working on the Platform for 7 straight hours. Time for bed.
Still need opinions on every single political issue you guys can think of.
I will spend tomorrow researching and writing.
Thanks for any and all support and opinions!

6 posted on 05/28/2005 12:17:48 AM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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To: America_Right

Read Brian C. Anderson's book and enjoyed. He quoted the south park guys: "We hate conservatives but we really f--in' hate liberals".

One problem with a movement like this could be that if you have the Republicans _and_ another non-liberal party, it would split the anti-liberal vote and we'd get Hillary. (Remember how Perot helped put Bubba in the White House?)

7 posted on 05/28/2005 12:34:16 AM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: America_Right; TheBigB

Pinging you to this.

8 posted on 05/28/2005 12:36:34 AM PDT by Jet Jaguar
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To: America_Right

I foresee much wasted effort on your part...

9 posted on 05/28/2005 12:41:09 AM PDT by papertyger
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To: America_Right

I've checked your site out and will visit you again. Why not a "South Park Conservative" Party. Maybe 100 years from now it'll be the dominant party, and the source of the name will only be known to students of history.

Loving the border security part of it, that I will say.

10 posted on 05/28/2005 2:41:56 AM PDT by jocon307 (Legal immigrant Irish grandmother rolls in grave, yet again.)
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To: America_Right

Who do you think would be a good nominee for your party?

11 posted on 05/28/2005 2:58:47 AM PDT by Godebert
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To: raccoonradio

Do you really think it matters if Hillary is in the White House at this point? At least she claims to want to close the border. As I have said, Repubs are just as liberal as Dems, just not as wacky. A good, viable third party may actually scare the supposedly conservative party into doing something about the border, and slowing down the huge amount of spending.
Also, I have said that I am done with Repubs. I don't care if a Dem beats a Repub anymore. No difference. That is WHY I want this movement started.

12 posted on 05/28/2005 9:02:55 AM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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To: papertyger

It feels good to be doing something other than complaining, so it is worth the effort. With the backing of a national radio host, I think we may have a bit of an advantage over other 3rd parties. Plus, people will like the name and NEED to know more. When they find out that their beliefs are more in line with SPCs than any other political party, they will flock to us. When we are perceived as a threat by the Repubs, they will hopefully change their ways.

13 posted on 05/28/2005 9:06:58 AM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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To: jocon307

Here is the border issue part of the Platform Intro.

The Border

Mexico - the biggest threat to America since the fall of the Soviet Union. Seems impossible that a backward country like that with no real military could possibly threaten us, right? Well, tell that to an American living in the Southwest. Illegal Mexicans are costing the American taxpayers billions a year in hospital subsidies alone. Normally, this wouldn’t be horrible, since we are the most charitable people in the world. However, things are getting worse. The illegals are not passively and peacefully coming over the border and looking for loved ones and day labor any longer. They are coming over and destroying property, threatening citizens, and making a mockery of our laws.
Recently, the Mexicans living here have become very vocal about taking a big chunk of our country that they call Aztlan and making it their own. No kidding. They will soon have enough people to do so. By the year 2030, at current growth, the Hispanic population will be the majority in this country.
No politician will do anything about this for fear of being called a racist. Racism has nothing to do with this. This is about the survival of our culture, our country. What will America be without California, Texas, Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico? This is a real danger, and needs to be addressed, and addressed soon.
The recent Minute Man Project along the Arizona/Mexico border was a great success. It proved that with minimal expenditure and very little manpower, America’s southern border could be secured. This is not brain surgery, people. Anyone can see this and figure it out. But, the Republicrats will not do a thing about it. The President called the Minute Men vigilantes. Mr. Bush actually thinks of these men as common criminals. They are doing your job, Mr. President. Protecting our borders against invasion by a foreign power is the role of the federal government.

14 posted on 05/28/2005 9:09:02 AM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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To: Godebert

Anybody who doesn't want power. :)
Seriously, though. Anyone can be a nominee for this party if they believe in what we stand for. I should have a rough draft of the platform done in a couple of days. This is turning out to be a lot of work, but I am loving it.

15 posted on 05/28/2005 9:13:24 AM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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To: jocon307

Oh, what the heck, here's the part before the Border section, as well.

The 2006 South Park Conservative Party Platform
Less Government BS for a Better Tomorrow

A fondness for power is implanted, in most men, and it is natural to abuse it, when acquired.
Alexander Hamilton, The Farmer Refuted, February 23, 1775

Government is not the solution to the problem. Government IS the problem.

Ronald Wilson Reagan, First Inaugural Speech, January 20, 1981

Democrats piss me off!

Eric Cartman, from South Park


A long time ago, in a crappy little country far, far away, our forefathers decided that they did not want to deal with government oppression any longer. They wanted freedom from religious tyranny, freedom from high taxation, freedom to live their lives they way they wanted to live them without government interference.
In 1776, our fledgling country began its fight for that freedom, and hasn’t looked back. Since America won her independence, she has been known throughout the world as The Land of the Free. Everyone who doesn’t live in the U.S. wants to live in the U.S. The whole world may protest America with half of their free time, but they spend the other half of their free time trying to get over here, legally or not.
We acknowledge that America is the greatest country in the world, and its peoples the best and brightest. When we are free to express ourselves, free to make our own way, we cannot be beaten.
We want to keep it that way.
However, with the U.S. Government growing the way it is, spending the way it is, and NOT doing what it is supposed to be doing, this may be an impossible task. The only possible answer is to have a viable 3rd political party which can either win elections, or scare the Republicrats into doing something RIGHT.
As South Park Conservatives, we’ve had it with the Elites. We’ve had it with the status quo. We’ve had it with Big Government, and its faithful propaganda arm, the Mainstream Media. We’ve had it with political correctness. We are regular people who remember that the government is supposed to be by the people, and for the people. Perhaps this was the case in the beginning, but now the hallowed halls of Congress and the opulence of the White House are reserved for only the richest and most privileged among us who seem to think that the “little people” cannot take care of themselves.
To sum up, we have faith in the people of this country. We know you are the folks that sustain our greatness, not the government. They have very little to do with it.

* * *

The War on Terror

President Bush’s war on terror is everyone’s war on terror. We need a strong military and a strong security force here at home. However, we did NOT need another big bureaucracy in the federal government to do this. Individual states, with the right amount of funding, could easily handle their own security, probably with greater efficiency and effectiveness than the feds could ever achieve. Other than the military, the federal government is notoriously bad at handling pretty much anything. Not that state or local governments are great at everything, but the feds are just the worst of the bunch. They don’t have any sense of teamwork, they only hire based on what race and sex you are, and they can’t fire the bad eggs. So, what we end up with in the federal government is a lot of weak links that cannot be repaired. In short, it would be easier, better, and cheaper to let the States handle their own security. Federal money will be spent on intelligence gathering and the aggressive use of force when needed overseas.
As to the military, well, the Republicans do a pretty good job with funding them, but, being Republicans, they can’t let the military do anything that may offend someone. In war, you don’t worry about those kinds of things, especially when you are dealing with the enemy. Further, this is not the kind of enemy that anyone is used to facing. They are everywhere, and they are not wearing uniforms. Extreme measures may be necessary to root out the bad guys, and sensibilities will be offended. No one likes this, but it is a fact of life.
Airport security is something else that the federal government should have kept their hands off of. Once again, hiring based on race and sex instead of merit plus no firing of slackers equals an ineffective and inefficient system. This needs to be returned to the private sector, with no restrictions on who is hired or fired. Private companies can easily do background checks on potential employees to get them the necessary clearance to be baggage checkers.
Iraq is a completely separate issue, now. We are getting to the terrorists there, but we are also spending too much money on it. Hundreds of billions of dollars are not needed to maintain our military presence there. Why are we not spending their oil money on their country? Iraq has enough oil production potential to make every man, woman, and child in the country millionaires. What is happening? We will make it a point to find out, and do our best to keep your money here at home where it belongs.
As important as the war on terror is, it is not the most pressing issue we Americans face today, although it is related…

The Border (See above post)

16 posted on 05/28/2005 9:51:26 AM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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To: America_Right

""We hate conservatives but we really f--in' hate liberals".

Sounds like they hate everybody. Good luck with that "political movement" thingy.

17 posted on 05/28/2005 9:56:48 AM PDT by SerpentDove (Qwertyuiop!)
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Comment #18 Removed by Moderator

To: America_Right

Hehe...interesting idea.

SPR's aren't really libertarian-we are against open borders and many of us are pro-life and anti-gay marriage. Much more pro-defense and War on Terror than the libertarians.

Constitution party doesn't really work either.

In seriousness I don't usually vote third party. But this is a fun idea. Why not start a Congressional South Park Republican Caucus??

19 posted on 09/19/2005 9:09:46 AM PDT by RockinRight (What part of ILLEGAL immigration do they not understand?)
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To: RockinRight

I have no idea how to start a caucus, and I don't have the patience for this kinda thing, it turns out. The guys over at southparkconservatives dot com have turned me off of the idea, anyway. They want to constantly bicker about gay rights/marriage, abortion, and other stuff that really doesn't top my list of important stuff.

Anyway, thanks for the support. If I had gotten a little more support for the idea in the beginning, maybe I would have stuck with it and possibly got something going, but as I said, all this bickering about unimportant stuff turned me off.

20 posted on 09/20/2005 1:17:59 PM PDT by America_Right (I serve the cause of freedom. What do you do? -SECDEF Heller from "24")
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