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DUmmie FUnnies 06-13-05 ("What meds do you take?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 13, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/13/2005 7:35:58 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Are there any pharmacologists out there? I will probably need your professional help in sorting out the MANY mood-altering meds listed in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What meds do you take? Since the DUmmies have been spending much of their time escaping into an alternate reality, it is interesting to see what powerful drugs they have to ingest to accomplish this task. For example, I am figuring that it must take some POWERFUL acid to alter the DUmmie mind to the extent that they BEEEELEEEEEVE that John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20. High drug dosage is so common in DUmmieland that I am surprised they haven’t established a DUmmie Pharmacy to distribute the meds necessary to enter their own alternate reality. The only “med” your humble correspondent takes currently (other than prescription blood pressure pills) is the non-prescription and VERY SMOOOOOTH slow aged Flor de Caña rum. Perhaps the DUmmies should think of switching to Flor de Caña rum. Not only would they pleasantly mellow out, but a few of them might actually relax enough to get a slight bit of common sense in their system. So let us now view the pharmacologically mind-altered DUmmie posts in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anxiously awaiting the warm glow of his evening dosage of slow aged Flor de Caña, is in the [brackets]:

What meds do you take?

[As mentioned above, only a couple of glasses of slow aged Flor de Caña rum per evening. Right now my “prescription” is for the 7 year old rum but perhaps someday I will become worthy enough qualify for the 12 year old Flor de Caña rum or maybe, just maybe, I can even think about aspiring to the 18 year old Flor de Caña rum. However, let us now view the LOOONG list of mind altering meds you DUmmies are desperately ingesting to kill the pain of our current REPUBLICAN reality.[

Don't answer if it is too personal; I understand. I have some Clonazepam on hand for when I get asthma/anxiety attacks. .5 mg is very weak... but I'm rocking 2 of the suckers right now so I'm at 1mg as we speak. Fairly relaxing since it is a benzodiapene.

[When the pain of seeing George W. Bush in the White House becomes too great, just pull the axe off the wall and break open that emergency bottle of benzodiapene.]

here we go... i hate drug names... so... unfriendly...minocycleine so i dont get all pimple-y and zyrtec so i can breathe during the months where everythign isnt frozen over.

[Zyrtec is also great for helping you to perform simple body functions during the months when your mind is frozen over.]

I take tons of medicine.Here's the list: Paxil for depression,Xanax for anxiety/panic attack,Dalmane to sleep,Ventolin for asthma,Trazodone as anti-depressor and sleeping aid and Advair for asthma.Plus some generic painkillers for chronic pain.I'm only 37 but my grand father who is over a 100 is in better shape than me.Pretty depressing isn't it.

[May I forward that EXTENSIVE med list over to Pied Piper Pitt since he hasn’t slept since April due to extreme anxiety over defrauding his fellow DUmmies by cheerleading them into donating to Andy Stephenson’s non-existent pancreatic cancer operation?]

Oh geez, where to begin. I am an exercise in polypharmacy.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism
Topamax for mood stabilization and migraine
prophylaxis
Verapamil for migraine prophylaxis
Imitrex and Amerge PRN as migraine abortives
Vicodin PRN as a migraine rescue med
Percocet PRN for menstrual cramps
I also take various OTCs as needed and daily vitamin/mineral/other supplements.

[Perhaps you should simply cover your body with a giant prophylaxis to blot out the unpleasant reality of a REPUBLICAN White House, Congress, and Judiciary.]

just a handful
Diclofenac--arthritis prednisone--arthritis methtrexate—arthritis
Verapamil--blood pressure Dyrenium--water pill

[When Cheney is elected in ’08 you might want to consider adding cyanide to that list.]

migraine & allergy meds:
migraine prophylaxis:
singulair (normally prescribed for asthma, which i do not have)
petadolex (an herb)
co-q10
migraine prn:
zomig (i rotate between zomig and imitrex when my body adjusts)
stadol (narcotic, only if zomig fails)
allergy prophylaxis:
nasonex
allergy prn:
semprex-d

[Methinks that on Election Night of 2008, you’re going to have to TRIPLE your med dosage for migraine.]

methadone- 60-70mg daily for chronic pain
flexeril- 50-60mg daily
prednisone- 10mg every other day
ambien- occasionaly for help sleeping

[Methadone? Isn’t that a med that is supposed to substitute for heroin? In any case, I think you will be shooting up heroin directly into your arm on Election Night 2008 in an attempt to kill the pain. But don’t worry. Susan Estrich will be in even WORSE shape than you.]

I'm sure if I went and got checked out I'd be prescribed half a dozen or so medications for depression and anxiety, but I prefer to wallow in my own misery.

[That’s the spirit! Face the incredible pain of this country’s dominant conservatism without resorting to any of those pansy meds.]

I Got You All Beat:
Daily: Cozaar, Tolinase, Actos, Lasix, Lopid, Elavil, Buspar, Topamax, Vicodin, Lomotil, QVar, Atrovent, Albuteral
As Needed: Norco, Fiorinal, Maxalt, Imitrex Stat Dose, Phenergran, Ditropan, Rantidine, Flexeril, Soma
Often on: Cipro and/or Nitrofuratoin

[Braggart!]

Anti-depressants - for me - all seem to make sex less enjoyable, which in turn causes even more depression. Is this just me, or do other people experience the same thing? The problem here in the UK is that doctors are overworked and far less inclined to spend time tweaking meds until they get things just right for a patient, which I find incredibly frustrating

[But…but I thought Britain had this WONDERFUL nationalized health care system that all you DUmmies seem to be boosting! And now you tell me that the doctors in the UK nationalized health care system don’t have much time for their patients. I am so depressed hearing this that I need to pop a prozac.]

i was on Clonazepam, Trazadone, zoloft, valium, wellbutrian and several others. I had really bad depression after the birth of my child and my inlaws didn't help. They told me that I was crazy and making it up cause I wanted attention. I went to several docs and they had me drugged up. I was so high that I was almost drooling. I finally got sick of it all and quite all them. I really do need an anti-depressant but I am afraid to be a zombie again.

[Newsflash, DUmmie earthmama! You’re STILL drooling.]

I don't like the idea of being hooked on chemicals for life, basically. What if there's a terrorist attack/nuclear winter and I can't get it? What if there's a recall because it's really ruining my liver (or whatever)? I wish I could find some kind of natural remedy, or be cured or something. But it's way easier to take my medicine and be on to other things.

[My suggestion is to build a vast underground fallout shelter to store all your meds.]

Ziac (keeps my BP down) Cymbalta (an SSRI)
Gabapentin (add'l depression treatment)
Prevacid (keeps my gorge from rising, all you Shakespeare fans)
I used to take Vioxx. Rasser frasser... I now take Aleve and Tylenol as if they were M&Ms. I honestly don't know what I'd prefer -- increased risk of heart attack, or this f*cking pain.

[Look at the bright side of it, DUmmie bertha katzenengel. At least you are no longer a Vioxx addict. Now take two Tylenols to kill your “f*cking pain.”]

Duragesic, Lortab, Soma, Naproxen and Ambien...There's more. Can't remember them all for obvious reasons.

[The obvious reason being that your meds have killed your long and short term memory or would be able to produce your extensive med list.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: PJ-Comix

This is hilarious!

They are basement dwelling drug attacks - as we suspected all along!


21 posted on 06/13/2005 7:45:59 AM PDT by Dashing Dasher (To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...)
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To: PJ-Comix
I take anti-kill-people-with-chainsaws-pills.

Sometimes they work, and sometimes they don't.

22 posted on 06/13/2005 7:46:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Republican Party is the France of politics.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Clean living, I guess... I take an occasional allergy mediciation (Allegra clone) during peak allergy times, and Advil once in a while for muscle stiffness, but other than that, my drug of choice is a little rum or gin mixed with fruit juice once in a while.


23 posted on 06/13/2005 7:46:33 AM PDT by kevkrom (Jack Bauer / Chloe O'Brien '08)
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To: PJ-Comix

Good grief! No wonder they're all nuts! All those chemicals swimming around in their bloodstream, and they're worried about pollution? They are so internally polluted it's crazy!


24 posted on 06/13/2005 7:47:28 AM PDT by McGavin999
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To: kenth

It makes me wonder if the web address for DU is printed on the antidepressent bottles! They know their market and that is the most efficient way to spend ad dollars.


25 posted on 06/13/2005 7:47:38 AM PDT by CSM ( If the government has taken your money, it has fulfilled its Social Security promises. (dufekin))
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To: Lazamataz

Must be related to my anti-bash-the-teenager-over-the-head-with-the-cast-iron-skillet meds...


26 posted on 06/13/2005 7:47:59 AM PDT by Knitting A Conundrum (Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
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To: PJ-Comix

Thanks for the ping, PJ! I can't believe they have an entire thread about this.

27 posted on 06/13/2005 7:48:58 AM PDT by Not A Snowbird (Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
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To: PJ-Comix

DU == Club Meds


28 posted on 06/13/2005 7:49:55 AM PDT by mikrofon (Howard Dean, prescribing doctor...)
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To: CSM
It makes me wonder if the web address for DU is printed on the antidepressent bottles!

Not on the generic ones...Couldn't say about the name brands.
29 posted on 06/13/2005 7:50:49 AM PDT by ReeWalker (Life isn't fair...GET USED TO IT!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix; KJC1
Are there any pharmacologists out there?

We've got plenty of "formicologists," i.e., those who study the ants in our DUmmie Ant Farm (formicary).

30 posted on 06/13/2005 7:53:01 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Somebody shook up the Ants!)
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To: kenth
These are always funny, the medication threads on du.

They do this routinely? A monthly feature maybe? LOL!

31 posted on 06/13/2005 7:54:19 AM PDT by maryz
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To: McGavin999

I was thinking the same thing. Some of those people are on so much depression medication, it is a wonder they can function. Some will make you feel like a zombie. Maybe that explains their posts. I noticed one was on a very strong pain drug plus everything else. Do they work?


32 posted on 06/13/2005 7:55:36 AM PDT by MamaB (mom to an angel)
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To: Petronski

This is quite obviously related to their usual comments about how much happier libs are than us conservatives. Hell, when you spend half your waking hours drugged to the gills, I'm surprised they don't just float off the ground.


33 posted on 06/13/2005 7:58:00 AM PDT by TheBigB (Why yes, I -do- rock! Thanks for noticing!)
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To: mikrofon
DU == Club Meds

LOL!!!

34 posted on 06/13/2005 7:58:26 AM PDT by PJ-Comix ( Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Wow I'm speechless....these people are why our health insurance rates are skyrocketing. And for the record, I take ZERO meds.


35 posted on 06/13/2005 8:00:59 AM PDT by RushCrush (Never give in! Never, never, never, never! Never yield in any way great or small.)
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To: MamaB

P-J is not kidding about this; it is always handy, reading posts in DUmmieland, with a pharmaceutical directory at hand.

It is pathetic, really.

Coming from a medical family (although no medical professional myself), I have always observed that 90% of medications would not have to be taken if one simply changes conduct and behavior.

Well, the DUmmies aren't the same mindset; they DON'T want to change conduct and behavior--they want to sit in their basements rather than getting jobs; they want to munch on junk food rather than getting exercise; they want to be angry and hateful rather than mellow.

They want to do what they want to do, but aren't willing to pay the consequences.....and everything that one does has consequences, good or bad, foreseen or unforeseen.


36 posted on 06/13/2005 8:02:17 AM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: PJ-Comix

I think most of them are on low grade discount crack.


37 posted on 06/13/2005 8:03:10 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Pray for us all.)
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To: maryz

It seems like every few days someone would mention their meds and it would become a sort of psychoactive pharmaceutical olympics, with each vying to take home the honors of most meds taken.


38 posted on 06/13/2005 8:04:42 AM PDT by kenth
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To: PJ-Comix

Wow. I thought these nutty Libs were the clean living, organic, vegan crowd. These idiots are drowning in meds. I guess it has to do with their innate need to be miserable.


39 posted on 06/13/2005 8:04:48 AM PDT by SIDENET ("You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.")
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To: PJ-Comix
I'm only 37 but my grand father who is over a 100 is in better shape than me

Maybe Grandpa didn't sit around all day convincing himself that his country is the worst place on earth, responsible for all the ills that befall mankind, and have such a low self-esteem.

Maybe Grandpa knew how to knuckle down and make something of himself and when things didn't go right he looked to himself FIRST to see if the cause wasn't sitting right there at home instead of running to blame somebody else.

Maybe you're a whiney loser and ought to wise up before you die and end up being nothing else BUT a whiney loser.

40 posted on 06/13/2005 8:05:48 AM PDT by prairiebreeze (We will not deny, ignore or pass our problems along to other Presidents. ---GWBush)
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