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DUmmie FUnnies 05-18-06 (Hoaxmas Threads EXPLODING In DUmmieland!!!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 18, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/18/2006 7:27:52 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

Those of you of Gaelic persuasion are probably familiar with the Easter Uprising by the Irish against the English in DUblin in 1916. And now we have the Great Hoaxmas Uprising 90 years later in DUmmieland against Pied Piper Pitt. The evidence of the Great Hoaxmas Uprising is in the MANY DUmmie threads now slamming the Magic Man. Apparently that once taboo subject of Pitt crit is now permitted partly because he was the cause of so many Freudenschade DUmmies making FOOLS of themselves when they prematurely popped their victory champagne corks celebrating the "indictment" of Karl Rove and mainly because of his drunken RANT agaisnt Head DUmmie, Skinner, for expressing a bit of doubt about his bogus story. So let us now GORGE on a feast of DUmmie Hoaxmas threads (currently numbering 8) starting with Theory: Leopold was wrong. Dead wrong. And then he backpedaled. As usual, the Freudenschade DUmmie postings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, turning into a glutton from dining on DUmmies dining on crow, is in the [brackets]. But FIRST, before we begin DUFUing the DUmmies, a special Hoaxmas Holiday treat. A song titled The Twenty-Four (Business) Hours Of Fitzmas to the tune of The Twelve Days Of Christmas composed by that famous Tin Pan Alley songmeister, Charles Henrickson. So pick up a cup of Holiday Cheer and sing along with the bouncing ball:

On the twenty-fourth hour of Fitzmas
My truthout gave to me:
Twenty-four bonus hours
Twenty-three bogus sources
Twenty-two sealed indictments
Twenty-one new excitements
Twenty Leopolds leaping
Nineteen FReepers freeping
Eighteen crowded dockets
Seventeen Sonny Crocketts
Sixteen corks a-popping
Fifteen-hour meeting
Fourteen Freudenschades
Thirteen Pipers piping
Twelve DUmmies griping
Eleven Roves a-packing
Ten dollars lacking
Nine shots at Skinner
Eight crows for dinner
Seven crews amassing
Six days a-passing
Five LOUSY TROLLS!
Four Patton Boggs
Three fresh blogs
Two marching frogs
And a Pitt ribbed in a parody!

Theory: Leopold was wrong. Dead wrong. And then he backpedaled.

[What backpedaling? Leopold & Lib are not only STICKING to their fibs but they claim the indictment papers will definitely be dated May 12, 2006. The Day When Everything Finally DIDN'T Change.]

With Will Pitt holding his handlebars for him.

[Somehow that sounds VERY KINKY.]

The fact that there are so many apologists out there on DU is frightening. Why are people so afraid to say that there is a serious problem with journalistic integrity here? Why are so many people taking the dittohead approach and just blindly following and pledging unwaivering allegiance? How does that make you any different from the Freepers that watch Faux News?

[Freepers who watch "Faux News" are buying into the Karl Rove indictment fairy tale. Who is your source for that bit of misinformation? Sonny Crockett?]

Did he backpedal? I thought he was sticking by the story.

[Por seguro!]

24 BUSINESS hours that is backpedaling after the story is proven incorrect.

[More like a lame excuse than a backpedal.]

24 BUSINESS hours which is just legally silly. There is no difference between "24 hours" and "24 business hours" in the law, but when it didn't happen in 24 hours, they tried to make it 72 hours. I consider that backpedaling. Perhaps that may not be the best term for all.

[And parking the bike while backpedaling it adds 10 minutes to the business hours time each day.]

Not defending Leopold here. But IMHO, the central claim of Leopold's story was the fact that Rove was already indicted, and he has not backpedalled on that. If he's fudged on the 24-hours thing, it does make the credibility of the entire story suspect. But ultimately Leopold will be judged on the central claim -- whether Rove was indicted last Friday.

[Why are you leaving Pitt out? Let the Magic Man share in the Hoaxmas glory as well.]

The 24-hour thing is still him being wrong about when it will be released. The fudging makes him look silly, I think.

[You think? I KNOW.]

Leopold said he was indicted on Friday. If he is indicted tomorrow, Leopold is wrong.

[But Pitt said those indictment papers will DEFINITELY be dated May 12, 2006. So it can happen in the next millenium but Pitt will be right if that Star Date is on there.]

Facts Smhacts throw shit on the wall and see what sticks. that's the life for me!

[DUmmie judicial reasoning at its finest.]

The 24 biz hours are UP, someone might want to do some damage control and at least admit that much..

[Not quite. You haven't factored in the photocopy my butt time into the business hours equation.]

2 things about pigs they wallow around in their own shit, and all pigs get slaughtered.

[Pied Piper Pigg.]

SO WHAT if Leopold/Truthout is wrong on this story? Truthout reporters and readers, unlike FAUX news and their viewers, are SEEKING the truth. A mistake does not equal a lie. A timing error doesn't invalidate the truth of the charges.

[The Truth Will Out sometime in the distant future.]

How DARE YOU compare us to freepers?

[How DARE YOU accuse us of being sane?]

I bow to you, Vinny From Indy!

[Da Vinny Toad.]

If Fitz ran his case like Leopold writes then Rove WILL WALK.

[Then it looks like Rove will walk...but NOT like a frog.]

Locking. COntinue discussion here: Official Truthout/Leopold/Rove Indictment Thead #1

[And so we shall, Skinner...]

Official Truthout/Leopold/Rove Indictment Thead #1

We are instructing the moderators to lock all threads about Jason Leopold and his Rove indictment story. If you wish to continue discussing this issue, you may do so here.

When this thread reaches approximately 100 replies, the moderators will lock it and open a new one.

Thank you for your understanding.

Skinner
DU Admin

[And thank you, Skinner, for making it so convenient to dine on DUmmies dining on crow.]

Until the indictment is made public, Rove can do anything he wants.

[Including dance upon Pitt's coffin.]

It's a KARLSPIRACY! He can do whatever he wants you know.

[It's PITTIFUL! The Magic Man can make any baseless charge he wants you know.]

I don't believe Leopold. I think he made it up, or his source was lying to him.

[Sonny Crockett lie? I doubt it.]

Fitz's team leaked false rumors in his own house cleaning mole hunt. Is that paranoid enought yet?

[No. You must add in a MIHOP conspiracy theory for that proper paranoid touch.]

No one seems to care that Joseph Wilson and Larry Johnson have confirmed this story.

[You mean Don "Sonny Crockett" Johnson.]

***FROM WAYNE MADSEN REPORT***

[Banned from DUmmieland for being unreliable. And imagine the depths you must have to sink to in order to achieve that "accolade."]

The Du Willi Code. stories of journalistic intrigue. Secret codes: 24, 72, 15.

[And 4 for the 4th floor of Patton & Boggs being sealed off.]

When you say approximately 100 replies, do you mean 100 (the number That follows 99) or 100 over the next day or so, or maybe 10 posts over 10 days? Will you be doing this throughout the day (meaning this 24 hours) or will you be doing it over 8 hour intervals over the next three days?

[FINALLY! DUmmie humor that is intentionally FUnnie! And now on to TABLE #2 of the DUmmie Hoaxmas buffet.]

If we are to believe Leopold's account, then there was a 15-hour meeting on Friday. Let's say it started at 8AM - it would end at 11PM. During that time the meeting is "locked down" - nothing gets in or out. Then, I daresay people call people to tell them what has transpired, tell wives they're coming home, head to their cars. Leopold said that he was talking to people with intimate knowledge of the meeting on Friday and on Saturday morning.

["Hi Honey! I'm being locked down and sealed off by the Secret Service at Patton & Bogg for the next 15 hours so I won't be able to make it to the K-Mart Blue Light Special later today."]

Jason, Will, Joe Wilson, and Larry Johnson all could have been punk'd by a massive Rovian conspiracy to cause multiple independent sources to align their false stories in a disinfo campaign to tar the lefty media. It is definitely a Rovian tactic; he did just this thing to author JH Hatfield (who later killed himself).

[Beware the Massive Rovian Storm.]

Okay, we will deny reality out of loyalty to Pitt. Where do I get the koolaid that lets me do that?

[At the TruthOut counter of your local Jonestown supermarket.]

Pitt is a melodramatic crusader, he reminds me of Don Quixote. His style of rhetoric is not good politics and will never help the democrats, other than as a form of rabble rousing that excites and inspires one small minority of democrats. The idea that anyone owes him anything is ludicrous.

[Don Quixote Pitt attacking his Rovian Windmill with his Leopoled.]

I believe the Declaration of Independence had a similar story It was dated July 4th but wasn't actually signed until August. Some though say that Independence day should be July 2nd.

[That's because they had to wait 24 business hours to make it from July 2 to July 4. They worked longer hours back then and no photocopy my butt breaks.]

Of course there's an indictment. Patrick Fitzgerald just has this odd habit of enjoying walking around for a week with an indictment tucked inside the waistband of his boxers.

[Or briefs? BURP...And now on to TABLE #3.]

I still believe he has been indicted. We'll know soon.

[In just 24 business hours.]

You know what is gonna be FUNNY? The silence from all of the nay-sayers when we find out that Leopold was correct.

[Even FUnnier will be the silence from all the yay-sayers when NOTHING happens.]

Ever notice how if you say "Leopold and Loeb" really fast, it comes out sounding like "Karl Rove"?

[And if you notice the earring in Pitt's earlobe you will say "Leopold and Lobe."]

Since Leopold hasn't revealed any names at this point,.... ...I'd wager a guess that the story is still valid.

[He revealed the name of Sonny Crockett so that must make the story invalid.]

Why did anyone believe Jason Leopold in the first place? The man's history speaks for itself, and the story - well, it's laughable on its face.

[Pitt is laughing all the way to the (drunk) tank.]

You know... I think that everyone is entitled to a certain amount of good will and benefit of the doubt... but drunken egotistical displays tend to use up whatever stockpile of good will may have accumulated.

[And it sounds like Pitt's good will stockpile has already dried up. And now on to TABLE #4 of the Hoaxmas Buffet.]

Some people are ALWAYS haughty and vicious assholes.

[YUP! Pitt's good will stockpile has certainly dried up.]

Too many people on DU believe in Santa Claus

[And the Great Pumpkin known as Fitzmas.]

Since I've been here in 2003 (I think that's when). I've seen probably hundreds of posts about this person going down, Bush finally being toast, something else being the tipping point, Cheney resigning, Rumsfeld resigning, the Democrats stopping some bill, Kerry challenging Ohio, this judge being filibustered, and a nearly endless series of articles on Rove finally being indicted. Quite a few of these, I might add, stem from the Original Poster on the thread that started this entire subject.

[In the beginning there was Pitt.]

I almost wish I had saved all the threads into a folder named "Lucy/Charlie Brown."

[Or "Roadrunner/Coyote."]

So when a story comes along written by a thrice-disgraced reporter and filled with several dubious claims, I immediately go into skeptic mode. And yet - like Bart Simpson at Kamp Krusty - hundreds of posters become their "Bush is toast....Bush is toast" mantra.

["Pop champagne....Pop champagne."]

I find the fact that someone like Leopold could be dominating discussion at this place for over a week a little nauseating.

[I find it intoxicating.]

The conspiracy nutters and the far-leftists and the trolls have done a great job steering DU from being what it ought to be: a place to debate logically about politics, and to find ways to help the Democratic Party win office.

[Eliminate the conspiracy nutters and the far-leftists from DUmmieland and all you are left with are LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Where does Leopold go from here if this story blows up?

[Bukowski's? Now on to TABLE #5. Hope I have room for dessert.]

Was Will drunk? Or did someone infer that?

[Will wasn't drunk. Merely intoxicated.]

He posted earlier that evening that he was going out to a pub w/ a friend. I saw the actual post. In total fairness to Will, he'd been getting stalked by the usual band of Pitt-haters quite a bit in the past few weeks, and one could hardly blame him for a bit of escapism.

[Drinking yourself senseless is now defined as escapism.'

I think, if Skinner were TRULY offended by Will's rant, Will would be spotting a tombstone. As of right now, he isn't.

[Isn't allowing this public flogging of Pitt even WORSE than tomstoning?]

Indictment tonight. My tarot cards told me so, and I think that's at least as accurate a method as any other I've seen here in recent days.

[The Ouija board is more scientific.]

I stand by my hunch that it will break between 6 PM & Midnight EST tonight.

[I stand by my hunch that it will break between midnight and 6 AM this morning.]

You haven't got a bit of rope?

[Is that you, Will Pitt? And now to TABLE #6.]

Who is Patrick Fitzgerald's "Deep Throat" Source? Is there a Counter-Leaker on Plame Case Working for the Side of Good?

[According to Pitt, that source is Joe Wilson.]

I hope I haven't just pulled a Leopold!

[No, you've only been Leopoled.]

Cause I haven't been following closely. But whats the deal with Chicago?

[Former site of the BEST photo studio in the Midwest (owned by PJ-Comix relatives), the Maurice Seymore Studio, said I sounding increasingly like my own father who constantly boasted about this.]

The KARLSPIRACY strikes again. all powerful Karl, able to control space and time and the NY Times.

[And the Dimensional Warp Barrier.]

It took 15 hours to make the plane reservations. The damn Secret Service took all the window seats.

[LOL you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

At what point do we end the Rove watch and get on with our lives?

[At a point beyond time and space, i.e. 24 business hours from now.]

it's 6:20 EST, still nothing coming from any MSM sources

[Have patience. You are still on standard time so you need to catch up to Daylight Savings Time. I'm STUFFED already but still I go on to TABLE #7.]

Still Standing With Ya Will and Jason!!!!! Thanks For Everything!!!!! Could it be tomorrow??? Frog march time Pig Boy!!!!!!

[Still waiting for the Great Pumpkin!!!!!]

The continuing sage of The Du ConvinceMe Code.

[And just as lengthy.]

Does anyone else feel like a cow on the way to slaughter? These threads remind me of the cattle walks NYPD uses to keep protestors under control.

[Well, we ARE dining on DUmmies dining on Crow.]

TOMORROW IS D-DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TOMORROW IS DUmmie-DAY!!!!!!!!!!!]

Since it's been past the 24 hours, Jason Leopold is officially burned by his sources, and he promised to out his sources if the story proved false.

[Crockett AND Tubbs.]

The only thing we don't have is an indictment dated May 12, and that is because IT DOESN'T EXIST! So it is 100% clear the story is bunk.

[Does that mean I have to put the cork back in my champagne bottle?]

So is tomorrow the day? Or am I clutching at straws?

[You're clutching at guffaws.]

You do understand that everywhere other than DU and Truthout, this disproven bullshit from a disgraced journalist has been dismissed and laughed off.

[More accurately, laughed AT. And now to our FINAL Pittstop, TABLE #8 of the Hoaxmas Feast...]

We Stand With You Will, Jason and Truthout!!!!!!!!!

[Leopold or Lobe? Which of you posted that?]

How much crap can you post when NOTHING HAPPENS.

[Will has a bottomless Pitt of crap.]

This is Pitiful...They've thrown us in a NUTBAG thread.....

[You mean Pittiful.]

THREAD #7 WAS WAY BETTER!

[Ah nostalgia! Those were the good old days of THREAD #7.]

Maybe it goes back to when Will was drunk and called us all "Cretins," and worse. I guess he thought we were kind of clueless idiots, too for bothering with the "Fitz Watch" this long.

[It was Pitt's Lonesome Rhodes moment (see A Face In The Crowd for the obscure referential scene near the end).]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; fitzmas; hoaxmas; jasonleopold; karlrove; skinner; willpitt
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To: freedumb2003
What the heck does "we erred in getting too far out in front of the news-cycle" mean? Predicting the future?

I think that's what he means.

"We made something up, and hoped it would happen, but it hasn't happened yet."

441 posted on 05/19/2006 6:11:29 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich

Holy Cow!

What an utterly embarrassing show!


442 posted on 05/19/2006 6:12:02 PM PDT by KJC1
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To: KJC1; jennyjenny
Leopold flew to DC last night because he wanted to attend the press conference

And he's not been heard from since? lol

Fort Marcy Park? LOL

443 posted on 05/19/2006 6:13:18 PM PDT by CAluvdubya (What's so hard to understand about the word illegal?)
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To: KJC1
deja vu

Marie26 (1000+ posts) Fri May-19-06 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #3

6. Isn't it weird that you have to go to Daily Kos to find out what happened on DU?

444 posted on 05/19/2006 6:14:49 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich; PJ-Comix
Isn't it weird that you have to go to Daily Kos to find out what happened on DU?

If they REALLY want to know, they will check DUmmie FUnnies. They all know that but don't dare say the truth: They all check here first.

445 posted on 05/19/2006 6:17:32 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Governor of California, another job Americans won't do.)
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To: PJ-Comix

PJ plz make sure I'm on ping list. Can't miss the shenanagins.


446 posted on 05/19/2006 6:19:42 PM PDT by Blackirish (Speak Truth to Power!!!)
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To: freedumb2003
They all check here first.

Yeah, they do.

How do I know?

They suddenly start using our language, our vocabulary, our colloqialisms, our slang, on their posts; words that had never before been used in DUmmieland.

I especially fondly remember the DUmmie and FoA "flyarm" using my singular vocabulary (although not on the same topic I had) about a year ago.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess, although I'd rather be flattered by the left-handed attorney than by "flyarm."

447 posted on 05/19/2006 6:21:03 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich

Has what you copied/pasted in #417 been deleted from DU? I just scanned thread #18 and didn't see it.


448 posted on 05/19/2006 6:21:06 PM PDT by KJC1
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To: franksolich
What the heck does "we erred in getting too far out in front of the news-cycle" mean?

They are many light business years ahead of the physical world.

449 posted on 05/19/2006 6:22:26 PM PDT by eddie willers
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To: KJC1

I'll track it down. Check later.


450 posted on 05/19/2006 6:23:06 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess, although I'd rather be flattered by the left-handed attorney than by "flyarm."

Well, at least we know they know we are more on the ball than them.

451 posted on 05/19/2006 6:23:37 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Governor of California, another job Americans won't do.)
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To: eddie willers
Oh this is great:

1240232, Another VERY annoying aspect of this... Posted by Karmakaze on Fri May-19-06 08:55 PM Name for me please the New York Times and international best-selling book, translated into twelve languages, that thanks you and your site above anything else. First and foremost. There is one. Only one. Mine. Before my own mother, I thanked you. That is REALLY fucking annoying because he is using the fact he thanked DU as proof of his support for DU. When in fact He wouldnt have HAD a best-selling book if it wasnt for DU. Note that book came out (his first) in 2002, and Pitt has been a member since 2001. DU helped him WRITE the damn book. People here offered help with research and all sorts of other incidental help, including plain old encouragement. Now he is acting like his thanks - which was the LEAST he could do - means DU owes HIM? It may not look like it, but I have been around DU since before that book came out - before Pitt was a "star" of the left, and I can tell you DU MADE Will Pitt, NOT the other way round.

452 posted on 05/19/2006 6:23:45 PM PDT by mylife (The roar of the masses could be farts)
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To: franksolich

Geez, is that thread turning into a support group over there? It just goes on and on and on and on. Give it up, already!


453 posted on 05/19/2006 6:24:14 PM PDT by Purrcival (Curses! Roved again!)
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That was kamikazies response to wee willies horn tooting about his lame ass book


454 posted on 05/19/2006 6:25:24 PM PDT by mylife (The roar of the masses could be farts)
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To: KJC1
They deleted the posts that quoted pittster when he was PWI (posting while intoxicated).
455 posted on 05/19/2006 6:38:43 PM PDT by jennyjenny
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To: mylife
DU MADE Will Pitt

Will Pitt got his royal, magic head handed to him when he posted here.

He had to take his show to a place of such idiocy that he shined in comparison.

"In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is King".

456 posted on 05/19/2006 6:39:51 PM PDT by eddie willers
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To: jennyjenny

Yeah, and apparently they deleted the post where the DUmmie had copied-and-pasted a "saved" screen-shot of the exchange.


457 posted on 05/19/2006 6:41:42 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: eddie willers

Delicious to watch isnt it?


458 posted on 05/19/2006 6:41:59 PM PDT by mylife (The roar of the masses could be farts)
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To: KJC1

above, to jennyjenny


459 posted on 05/19/2006 6:42:14 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: eddie willers

What grieves me, truly grieves me, is that the Bostonian Idiot has not an iota of humility (and reality) within him.

I rather agree with the DUmmie that DUmmieland "made" the Bostonian Idiot, although for some perverse reason the Bostonian Idiot seems to think he "made" DUmmieland.

The created abusing his creator.

Typical symptom of permanent cerebral damage wrought by being alcoholically-challenged.


460 posted on 05/19/2006 6:46:11 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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