Posted on 08/16/2006 1:38:41 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
Remember the movie, It's A Wonderful Life?. In it the James Stewart character was allowed to see how miserable things would have been for his home town if he had never been alive. The DUmmies are now doing just the opposite. They are fantasizing about what a WONDERFUL paradise we would now be living in if only Al Gore had become President in 2001 as you can see in this DUmmie FANTASY titled, "Finish the following sentence... If Al Gore were president..." In the REAL reality, it is like Paradise Lost for the DUmmies. All their frustrations can be traced back to Al Gore LOSING back in 2000 and it has been downhill for them ever since. So let us now indulge their fantasies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if he would have been on Karenna's dance ticket at the 2000 Gore Inaugural Ball, is in the [brackets]:
Finish the following sentence... If Al Gore were president...
[I'll give it a try as soon as I quit laughing.]
If Al Gore were president, all the US soldiers and Iraqis killed in Bush's Iraq adventure would be alive today. Mind-blowing to think about it, isn't it?
[If Al Gore were president, we would still be debating whether to institute economic sanctions on the Taliban. Mind-blowing to think about it, isn't it?]
911 would not have happened.
[Yeah. The terrorists would have been so humbled by the awesome presence of President Al Gore that the thought of perpetrating 911 would never have occured to them.]
9/11 would NOT have happened.
[Another DUmmie chimes in with the same fantasy.]
No 9-11 scale attack would have happened.
[When it rains DUmmie fantasies, it POURS.]
we would either be driving electric high-breads or Smart cars, ...the nation would be building an intra and interstate mass transit system based on magnetic levitation trains, cold fusion electrical generation would be a reality, the federal debt would be two thirds paid off, America's standard of living would have advanced to almost total elimination of poverty and hunger, America would have a national health care insurance program for everyone and the republican party would have all but disappeared.
[Everybody would be driving around in clean energy hovercraft and the EVIL Republicans would have voluntarily jumped into a giant quicksand pit.]
nothing of the last 5 and 1/2 years would have happened. gutting of or social programs, tax cuts wouldn't have happened, at least until the debt was paid off and it would have under the policies of an Al Gore Administration. the only problem with all this is I have to come back to reality and face the music of now.
[Tax cuts wouldn't have happened. Taxes would have been RAISED. Isn't that just wuuuunderful!!!]
Life would be wonderful!!! I wouldn't have to apologize to my grandkids for the horrid world I'm leaving them, and we wouldn't be banging our heads against the wall at all the incredible events that we have before us, today. Just think of all the citizens of the world who would still be living.
[Life would be wuuuuunnnnnderful!!! Even our doo-doo wouldn't stink!]
. . . . the Kyoto Accord would be seen as the first step . . . toward a solution to global warning.
[The Kyoto Accord would have limited the hot air emissions from Al Gore's mouth.]
I would be looking into earning a Bachelor's Degree after I get my Associate's Degree. I would have the confidence that I could possibly get a damn job after graduating AND continue my education.
[I wouldn't be drooling like a moronic loser blaming his personal failures on Bush.]
If Al Gore was president, I would be able to use the Pell Grant and probably other educational incentives to become a teacher (community college, not K-12) or anything else I wanted to become. As it stands now, I'll be lucky to get a 2 year degree at all, much less try for a 4 year degree. And I'll be lucky if I can find a damn job at all.
[As it is now, you'll be lucky to cross a street without drenching yourself in self-pitying drool.]
My House Wouldn't Be So Filthy
[And your body odor would be tolerable.]
The angels would not be weeping.
[The Jason Leopolds would not be leaping.]
...I would be sleeping better at night.
[Your constipation would be cured.]
Many of my friends and fellow citizens would still be alive in New Orleans
[Katrina would have swerved away from the Gulf Coast under a President Al Gore.]
The whole world would be a better place!
[The WHOLE UNIVERSE would be just hunky-dory!]
Social Security would be in a lock box safe from the pork stained hands of the Bushites.
[Would prosthetic crotch enhancers also be in that lock box?]
the after affects of the whore Katrina wouldnt have existed. Period.
[Katrina wouldn't have even existed. Period.]
California and the rest of the west wouldn't keep burning every year. We would have had systems installed to contain the fires or strips of land converted to be used as fire breaks or both.
[There would have been automatic sprinkler systems in the middle of the wilderness and FREE gumdrops for all!]
Actually, it's been pretty hilarious in DUmmieland since mid-July, with this "rapture" thing. The DUmmies are obsessed with it. Some days, there were more than half a dozen threads about the topic.
I've never seen so much ignorance about something the DUmmies don't understand in the first place; I've visited a great many "fundamentalist" ("fundamentalist" according to the DUmmies, "mainstream" according to we sane people) discussion boards, and rarely, if ever, saw the issue discussed. Only in DUmmieland did it seem to be a big deal.
The DUmmies buy into the media fiction that Bush is zealot who is trying to hasten the "end times" -- as such, they have tried to find out what the "end times" are. Unfortunately for them, it seems that their resources for information are people like lapsed Catholics who have vague memories of hearing something about it when they were kids and Jack Chick comic books.
Oh, I have no doubt most DUmmies base their perception of Christianity on the Jack Chick comic books.
They're free, and they're comic books, after all, devised for people with low intellectual capabilities. Too bad they aren't in color too (or perhaps they are now; they weren't the last time I saw one), eye-candy for the DUmmies.
Much simpler to read a free comic book, than to go to the original Source.
How much yeast is needed to make a high bread? How high do you get on high bread? Is electric high bread like the electrical banana Donovan sang about in "Mellow Yellow?"
Drat! Now I'll never get to see what a "frog-march" is.
If Algore had been elected prexy, everyone would have internet access......what? everyone has internet access? It's all Bush's fault.
I bet this is one of them 'smart' DUmmies who skipped a grade, right? LOL
I always forget how to do colors in HTML... :-(
[Katrina would have swerved away from the Gulf Coast under a President Al Gore.]
Pat Robertson would be jealous!
"Psst! There are NOW 899 PINGees on the DUFU PING List."
This probably isn't quite on your radar yet, PJ, but will Pingee #1000 get a prize?
there would be no DUmmie FUnnies! Boooooooooooo
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