Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

Everyone should rent “Shaun of the Dead.” It’ll have you in stitches guaranteed. Hilarious!

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

LOL!

[Illuminatas]

Allright. Everyone here has to read World War Z. Best damn book about the zombie apocalypse. Written from the viewpoint of the surviors after the war is over in documentary form.

I wish they would make a movie out of this book.

[Darksheare]

Ping received.
Undead ping resent!

[txhurl]

LOFL

[sionnsar]

What's this all about? Zotland the Craven		Some guidelines for posting on this thread. Some highlights of this thread.
	Spawn of the Undead Thread: The February Chronicles (redux) Ping! FReepmail sionnsar if you want on or off the ping list. This is a low volume ping list (every few days). Read: The January Chronicles (redux)

[sionnsar]

Thanks to Darksheare for scouting out a new home for the Undead Thread!

[Darksheare]

JRBC, Slings, and Xena found it before I did.
So they get the spot cred on it.

[mj1234]

yes-very funny-

but it would be great to-ASK AL GORE!

and make it in a serious tone-
OH the in-humanity- and let AL ramble!!

Wish it could happen.

ROFL

[sionnsar]

Well, you pinged me.

I really don't like to move onto active threads, given the number of URLs that have to be tweaked every time a new post occurs on the destination thread before The Move, but this one was much too good to pass up, and so worth the try.

And I got lucky. Thanks!

[Darksheare]

Welcome.
The Undead Thread thrives on zombie based discussions.

[Hot Tabasco]

You’d think you’d at least have a Winchester 30-30 in that arsenal.

Post #43: I know, you're right

Post #44: I know, you're right

[sionnsar]

"And now we need a motto for our badge..."

Yup. Fortunately we have our choice of languages: Gaelic, Scots or Latin. A couple of ideas/examples
Gaelic: Chan Eil An Snàth Marbh Fhathast! (The Thread Is Not Dead Yet!)
Scots: Touch Not the Undeid Threid Bot A Glove! (Don't Mess With The Undead Thread, shamelessly taken from Clan Chattan / Clan of the Cats!)

Still thinking on this...

[Owl_Eagle]

zombies walk the earth, blah, blah, blah...

But the important part is that if you so much as consider, entertaining, the remotest possibility that perhaps, somehow, someway, things could be construed, that there’s a remote chance that this is in any way less than 100% factually correct, well... you are worse than Hitler.

[vetvetdoug]

My first wife was a zombie...she acted almost dead whether it was warm, hot or frigid cold. It didn’t matter...In my experience I don’t believe temperature has any effect upon a zombie..

[Tax-chick]

Hello, hello, anybody here but the zombies? This thread needs penguins!

[NicknamedBob]

"This could happen. After all, the Blob already ate algore."

Are you entirely certain it wasn't the other way around?

[Tax-chick]

[NicknamedBob]

"Hello, hello, anybody here but the zombies? This thread needs penguins!"

Do penguins make good zombies? If so, we may get a lot of them from the global warming.

What about snowmen zombies? Poor demented souls maddened by the heat, walking thumpeting around in search of a cold slushie.

[Tax-chick]

I’ve never seen any zombie penguins. Maybe the zombie seals ate them all.

[NicknamedBob]

Zombie ecology. Hence the existence of this thread.

It’s based on a zombie ecological disaster.

.

With zombie science, including zombie statistics. (87.79 percent of which are made up on the spot.)

[Darksheare]

Gotta have a zombie plan.

[Erasmus]

You got one of the extremely rare temperature-compensated ones.

[Jonah Hex]

Zombies need a well-balanced diet too.

[Darksheare]

Hey, this means that global warming is good for us.

[NicknamedBob]

"Hey, this means that global warming is good for us."

There it is right in the first post ...

"... if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D." -- (bolding mine)

After all, more people die from the cold and from hunger than from the heat.

[sionnsar]

Hey, this means that global warming is good for us.

Yah well, talked with my mother this evening. They're being blanketed with a whole bunch of that white global warming stuff and are a wee bit short of carbon-based natural cyclical-energy storage modules ("logs").

She'd like a relief from this "global warming" -- and even here in the Seattle area this year has already features the most snowfalls of any year in the past quarter-century.

[Darkchylde]

>_>
>_>

I believe the blame really belongs to... Your coffee!!

>_>... O.o

[Darksheare]

Works for me.
I like warm weather.
Just not oppressively hot.

[Darksheare]

I admit, my coffee is the cause and cure or many things.

[Darksheare]

The modules tend to be sporadic at releasing their energy.
My sis can relate some of the less fantastic ways in which I coaxed extra energy releases from those modules.

[NicknamedBob]

Despite current indications, our local weather lore relates that Winters are getting milder.

My observation is that so are the Summers.

.

I explained it recently this way: When you add heat to a pot, the water boils more vigorously, but it doesn’t get hotter. When more energy gets trapped on Earth, the atmosphere stirs more vigorously. We get warmer weather in both Winter and Summer, but the winds circulate the extremes away.

That’s the theory, anyway. Of course, there will be still-air days, when the heat just seems to simmer. That’s what Al Gore counts on. We need to save some of our snowballs in the freezer to whack him with when he spouts off about it.

If you think I might be off track about this, try explaining why no amount of (within parameters) Global Warming will cause the snow-capped mountains to be laid bare. If the tropical heat is carried into the upper atmosphere, it radiates away really well.

[stand watie]

HI, ya'll.

free dixie,sw

[stand watie]

HI, ya'll.

free dixie,sw

[Dead Corpse]

w00t!

I'm goin' for a walk!

[stand watie]

HI, ya'll.

free dixie,sw

[dynachrome]

“World War Z”
The best one, I agree!

The author, Max Brooks, also wrote “The Zombie Survival Guide”

[Dead Corpse]

Would You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

Congratulations! You made it! You climbed on top of others at times, helped out the ones you thought you could save, but regardless of your level of altruism, you've survived the zombie apocalypse. Your knowledge of weaponry, quick thinking, smart planning, and cold efficiency have saved your life. Go on and boogie--you deserve it.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Like there could have been any other result for someone like me.

[Grizzled Bear]

You have a ping list of the living dead?

Please sign me up!

[PogySailor]

Just great...more Democrat voters.

[gathersnomoss]

Now I’m interested. The Night of The Living Dead, with Chilly Billy. Wouldn’t miss it.

[grey_whiskers]

So *THAT's* what is behind the McCain resurgence...

Cheers!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Great thread!

I want to know who is going to tape algore's mouth shut.

No sooner does he flap his yap then we have record cold and snow. The state declared a freaking no move order for all roads north of Cadillac. That has never happened in the history of the state.

THIS IS MICHIGAN! We live for snow and ice. But yesterday was, as one driver put it, like "trying to drive through a glass of milk".

[Rocky]

Great link, the Warmlist. Very funny.

[Soaring Feather]

Howdy everyone.

[redstateconfidential]

[Lost Dutchman]

[Slings and Arrows]

The only thing that could make this thread more awesome is ninja priates.

[BurbankKarl]

[Slings and Arrows]

Hmmm, got a zombie plan. It involves the Yearly Kos convention, five pounds of sweetbreads, and a Robert Heinlein-type thirty-second bomb.