Beam me to Planet Gore !
Posted on 01/26/2009 7:42:20 PM PST by John Semmens
Former US vice president Al Gore says he is “jazzed” about Democratic gains in the November elections and thinks the time is “ripe” for him to take his case to congress.
“My plea for the government to outlaw climate change has fallen on largely deaf ears,” Gore complained. “Even sympathetic members of congress were ‘bummed’ by the fear that Bush would veto anything they might pass. But now, with a Democratic president and Democratic majorities in both houses, the forces are aligned to abolish climate change once and for all—assuring Americans of this and future generations that normal weather will be allowed to reassert itself once humankind’s interference is eliminated.”
In a bill being drafted at Gore’s direction, congress will be urged to enact a law banning artificial means of living and promoting a more natural lifestyle. “Carbon-based methods for producing energy must be eliminated,” Gore insisted. “Whether we do this via punitive taxes or regulation is not as important as that it be done. People are warm-blooded mammals. If they’re cold they can put on more clothes to retain body heat. If they are hot they can take off their clothes. This is the environmentally friendly way to control climate.”
“Wind and solar power can serve most of our needs for energy,” Gore argued. “You know, Columbus discovered America using a wind-powered vessel. Yet, we have allowed this environmentally benign travel mode to atrophy. We’ve allowed ourselves to become addicted to gadding about town, creating massive traffic jams and polluting the air. We need to adapt our way of living to reduce unnecessary trips.”
Due to heavy demand for speaking appearances and the accompanying busy travel schedule, Gore is expected to fly into Washington on a private jet to testify on behalf of his proposed legislation.
(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...
Words simply escape me. However it was a great belly laugh for the end of the day.
18th century here we come.
Careful John! Gore might become jealous you’re one step ahead of him.
algore has really lost it. To make global warming against the law assumes that:
1) It is happening.
2) We can do something about it.
3) We can control others doing something about it.
He’s psychotic. It’s inconvenient, nevertheless true
Thanks for another chuckle John. Needed it. One of those days LOL.
Still early in Arizona....Go Kurt baby!
A former VP wants us to go back to 1492? This was the guy that always used to say "we are moving forward".
oops. this was satire. That says a lot about Gore when one cannot quickly detect satire written about him.
This same thinking could easily be applied to have the NAACP sue Sickle Cell Anemia. “Make global warmign illegal”? This man really has gone round the bend.
—PP
Perhaps Gore will explain how he and family polluted the Caney Fork River.
It wouldn’t be such a big deal if he didn’t have the capability to force the rest of us to comply.
I swear I’m going to wake up soon. THis nightmare is going on way too long- its not even scary anymore its just a real stupid dream like somebody slipped me a micky. Pinch Pinch.
what is “normal weather”?
If this global warming is such a scientific fact that Gore knows why is it so damn cold?
After careful consideration I have come to the conclusion that the Global Warming nuts are all atheists. Reason: Anyone who believed in God would not think human beings can alter (save) the climate. Or, destroy it, for it is the provenance of an Almighty God who created this planet. If it is God’s will to roast us to death, or to freeze us to death, it is His prerogative and His alone. We are but pimples,mere ants ants, on the surface of this globe we inhabit. Until we realize this we will go on with our bootless arguments.
Gore flunked out of divinity school and other programs as well. He admits to having been a heavy user of recreational drugs while in school. The drug psychosis psychology of the aging liberal boomers is the only ‘religion’ they ever had.
King Henry VI
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