Posted on 03/08/2009 5:57:35 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
An article from the British press…
Fresh off pummeling American conservative talk-radio host Rush Limbaugh into cultural oblivion, his every verbal punch aided by the pecs and pseudo-six-pack that MSM closeteers and cheerleaders have presented to the US public since before Obama Christ was a carpenter, President Obama swaggered back into the White House, wiped off his sweaty bod with a towel purloined from the White House Gift Shop, and presented it to visiting British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, along with 25 Region 1 DVDs (which can’t play in Britain).
“Here, have some of these lickeys and chewys,” said Obama, using language the US military employs when referring to minor gifts presented to visitors. (Note that Obama never served.)
Brown then presented President Neophyte with an ornamental penholder carved from the timber of the HMS Gannet, a British naval vessel that took part in the battle to end the slave trade.
The snub was obvious and Obama pounced, first declaring that there would be no flag-waving over Britain’s desire to end a slave trade it started, and second, Obama was not a slave but in fact a major player in a new regional power called the United States, and again second, it was well-known in White House circles that Obama can’t write without a teleprompter nearby so all pens are banned.
The British Foreign Service acknowledged that it had tried to make a teleprompter from the timbers of the HMS Overcharge, but that Hillary Clinton (along with real pirate Johnny Depp) had already purchased all available ones off eBay and were selling them in the White House Gift Shop, along with those pesky bits of shrapnel and bullets that had attacked Clinton when she landed in Bosnia under fire, so many years ago. Model helicopters were also 50% off, according to Gift Shop manager Loreen Sellitall.
“Lordy, we’ve been trying to get rid of them toy hella-ma-copters since before Obama was a carpenter,” said Sellitall. “But with the new Marine Corps helicopters being procured, these old ones are a harder sell than getting a competent Russian linguist to join the State Department.”
“When the call for ancient naval timber comes at three a.m., who do you want to pick up the phone?” asked Clinton staffer Hillary Clinton, not rhetorically.
Bemused British pressers were reduced to shopping for outdated model Marine Corps helicopters in the White House Gift Shop, while Obama and Clinton plotted their next diplomatic coup upstairs, in Obama’s super-heated “Hawai’i room,” the only room in Washington DC where the temperature is allowed to be above 112 degrees Fahrenheit, thanks to a budget earmark that Obama said he’d refuse, but then he got cold and had it slipped it into an omnibus bill about Mayan salamanders living in the American River in California.
Meanwhile, it was revealed last night that Obama was “tired.” He reportedly has had many late nights of partying with B-List celebrities and eating Wagyu Beef while the country flounders, and the result is that he is already going Grecian Formula-ready gray. It is presumed that his rapid rise to the position of President Neophyte has not prepared him for the vagaries and stresses of the Oval Office. He was said to remark to one Secret Service agent, “I thought I’d only do like about 135 days of days of work in this Administration, just like I did in the Senate, but it seems like I’ve already done, like 46!”
The aged and lazy American press seemed disinterested in the stresses of financial recovery, social welfare or war, and focused instead on First Lady Michelle Obama’s toned arms and her predilection for wearing sleeveless sleeves. Her off-the-shoulder shoulders sent fashion guerillistas and Iranian mullahs into fits, with each attesting to the divine desires created by the awfully-good-looking, ermm, shoulderness of Ms Obama.
Hillary Clinton quietly took notes on this ominous shoulder-turn of media events.
In Washington, attending diplomatic officers from both Uganda and Mongolia (the only ones invited by President Neophyte’s ace staff of tweeners and 30-somethings) were appalled when Hillary Clinton met her British counterpart, Foreign Secretary David Miliband, and, playing on her recent success with Russia, presented him with a “That Was Easy” button from the US office supply chain, Staples. Unfortunately, the “Easy” lettering on the button was mis-translated, and read to the foreign-language speaking British as, “I’m in the Closet.”
After punching the button with Clinton, Miliband’s coming-out party was later held at “Purple Sox” just off Leicester Square. (In-the-know closeted British politicians will not need directions, nor will their spouses.)
Clinton, who later arrived at RAF Gatstanrow outside London on the well-appointed biplane Air Force Two and quickly and efficiently mispronounced on the rain-sodden tarmac the Foreign Secretary’s name as “Dexter Lackawood,” brought with her the spurned bust of Winston Churchill, which she referred to a small gathering of minor press (The Sun, The Upper Lochtonia Star-Guardian and the Tottenham Chicken-Chronicle) as “Busty Churches.” Then she acceded to a short meal at Wimpy’s after demanding to be taken to “McWimpy’s.” There, she ordered a “McBust with Cheese” and asked the staff to “hold the Churchills, as I don’t like long stiff things that go in the mouth.”
After that, she sped off in a London cab driven by Winston Churchill Singh, who told The Sun that she was polite and gregarious, as was Madonna who was with her, and that Clinton only mispronounced his name once while remarking repeatedly on Madonna’s “cannonball” shoulders as she kissed and bit them and called them “Bill” and “Dexter,” respectively. Madonna was later seen wiping lipstick (purchased as usual by Clinton from the White House Gift Shop) off her shoulders while talking with only a slightly fake Essex-gal accent into a cell phone with both US baseball star Alex Rodriguez and an unknown but apparently newly-liberated bloke named David Miliband (who according to Singh was on hold most of the time, which wouldn’t be surprising given the amateurishness of the new US Administration).
I told you guys the world media has finally picked up on the love fest the US Media had going for Obama and realized they can’t be taken seriously.
I am thinking of a list of what these films must be.
Reds
Plan 9 from Outer Space
V for Vendetta
Braveheart
Something about Dunkirk
Something about Islam
Something about Chamberlain.
Other ideas?
‘Coming to America’ and ‘Trading Places’ must have been included, along with an assortment of ‘Booty Call’ flicks.
This gift thing puzzles me. If Obama has got too much on his plate wouldn’t he defer to a protocol expert from State to determine the appropriate gift for the occasion?
He was going to include "Speed Racer" until he realized it was about cars and not well you know......
Actually ET, Star Wars and the Wizard of Oz were 3 of them.
I ‘m sure a Muslim leader will be treated much better! That
special relationship with England is over for at least four
years.
I chuckled my way through the article but this is also a very dangerous situation. These people are clueless and we are defenceless
Great post, 2DV...:)
I enjoyed that immensely.
IMO, ObOzO's "micro-managing" will lead to his downfall. (make it so, Lord)
Ping!
Soul Plane
Shaft
Undercover Brother
Foxy Brown
White Chicks
Superfly
Ouch!
(This is so full of great snarky bits about Ayatollah Teleprompter and Madeline Albright Jr. that it was hard to pick a favorite.)
Mr. niteowl77
“The Running Man”
Come to think of it ‘The Manchurian Candidate’ was probably in that set. It’s a biographical film! :)
>it was well-known in White House circles that Obama can’t write without a teleprompter nearby so all pens are banned.
LOL - And the Brits just keep the “vicious sarcasm” coming! I love it! (It’s all the stuff the US Presstitutes won’t publish!)
Maybe Europe and the Anglosphere, chastened by the sordid history of their own squalid romances with socialism, will come to our rescue, warning the dewy-eyed swee'peas in the classrooms and boardrooms and newsrooms that he's no good for them--or any of us..
One can hope, eh?
no no no. The gift thing was a deliberate insult to Great Britain, a diplomatic slap in the face saying "don't expect any special treatment from us during Obama's watch."
Obama is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, by a long shot, but he's smart enough to know that protocol means something. And he used it to communicate what he meant.
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