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DUmmie FUnnies 06-05-09 (Punditry-Pining Pitt Pumps out the Puff Pieces)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 5, 2009 | William Rivers Pitt and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 06/05/2009 1:46:55 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

Our boy Pitt is BACK, in a big way! In recent weeks, the erstwhile Logorrheal One has gotten off his barstool at Bukowski's and hit the keyboard. The disgraced journalist-wannabe has been pumping out columns for truthoutthewindow, mostly puff pieces kissing the rear end of the Obambi Misadministration (and attacking conservatives, of course). Maybe Will the Shill, reliable party hack that he is, is looking for a paying job. Fuggedabout it, Will! That ship left the harbor on May 12, 2006, when you reported with full assurance that Karl Rove had been indicted.

Well, even if it only wins him yet another chance at Pied Piperdom with his small but amnesiac following in DUmmieland, Wee Willie has been churning out the columns lately--three in the last week! Namely, this THREAD, "The Most Dangerous Game," and this THREAD, "Sotomayor Derangement Syndrome," and this THREAD, "A Day in the Life."

The Pittster's purple prose will be in Reputation-Repairing Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if this flurry of activity is impressing the future Missus Pitt, is in the [brackets]:

The Most Dangerous Game

[By the most ostentatious name, William Rivers Pitt]

Rush Limbaugh announced on his radio show that President Obama nominated a racist by tapping Judge Sonia Sotomayor. . . .

[That's terrible! Calling her a "racist"?? Why, she's an ethnist, sexist, wise Latina woman racist!]

Newt Gingrich and Karl Rove have been Twittering their questionable brains out over the last couple of days reasserting the "racist" accusation.

[Karl Rove . . . that name rings a bell. Say, wasn't he indicted a couple of years ago? I thought he was in jail by now. Whatever happened to that, Will?]

Beyond the cries of racism, other voices from the right have contended Obama's high court nominee is a liberal activist, a judicial legislator and someone maybe not quite bright enough to sit on the bench.

[Sounds like perfect qualifications for a Democrat!]

Needless to say, it's on.

[So is Will's laptop, churning out this drivel.]

In its worst iteration, the nomination process can level careers. . . .

[Kinda like reporting bogus journalistic scoops.]

Two such, the failed nomination of Robert Bork and the successful nomination of Clarence Thomas, left behind a residue of resentment and spite that nobody has been able to scrub off the walls to this day.

[Will is still trying to scrub the Fitzmas residue off his walls.]

if Mr. Obama had nominated Jesus of Nazareth to replace Justice Souter, the GOP would now be denouncing Him for favoring a socialist welfare state because He gave away loaves and fishes and circumvented the insurance industry when He raised Lazarus from the dead.

[Will, even Jesus of Nazareth could not raise your career from the dead. I mean, you could only manage nine brief comments from your fellow DUmmies. Try again. . . .]

Sotomayor Derangement Syndrome

[Punditry Aspirer's Syndrome]

They called it Bush Derangement Syndrome for eight years: the condition of being berserk with rage, hatred and fear over the acts and actions - nay, even the very existence - of George W. Bush and his administration.

[P3 himself has Chronic BDS.]

After last November, it became known as Obama Derangement Syndrome. . . .

[On the Left, though, it turned into Obama Tingly Leg Syndrome.]

Last week, the malady mutated into a whole new thing - Sotomayor Derangement Syndrome - and boy, but it's a doozy.

[And, wise Latina woman, it's a DUzy!]

Ranting incoherence, brazen racism. . . .

[Are you referring to Sonia's stump speeches or her judicial opinions?]

those suffering from Sotomayor Derangement Syndrome had not only struck the bottom of the barrel in their attempts to tear the Sotomayor nomination down, but had plowed right through the wood and burrowed deep into the slime and ooze beneath.

[It's an oozy! Well, this column didn't work too well either, Will. Only eight DUmmie comments. Next. . . .]

A Day in the Life

[A Try for a Job]

The Obama administration opened the White House doors to NBC correspondent Brian Williams. . . .

[Brian came straight from Post-Katrina New Orleans, no doubt. That, or a tanning booth. Either way, Brian made sure to wear his presidential kneepads.]

the fruits of which became a two-day television special. . . .

[Other fruits can become Democrat congresspersons.]

titled "Inside the Obama White House". . . .

["Take off thy sandals, Brian, for thou art standing on holy ground!"]

Most of it is fluff . . .

[And most of your stuff, Will, is puff.]

among other things, we learn that . . . M&M's taste good . . .

[Obamassiah's M&Ms: Marxism & Megalomania.]

Bo the dog is growing fast . . .

[B.O.'s megalomania is growing fast.]

and Five Guys makes a mean cheeseburger. . . .

[Maybe you can get a job there flipping some, Will.]

but the lasting impression left by the show is how busy a place this White House is.

[The only way you'll see the inside of it, Will, is by taking the tour.]

the question of whether the Obama administration is taking on too many massive tasks came up. Mr. Obama laughed, shook his head and made a good point: "What, exactly, would you have me give up?"

[The whole thing, Barry.]

The President has departed an overseas very-strained-friendship tour through the Middle East. . . . Can't ignore that.

[Will Pitt bungled the Andy Stephenson Situation. Can't ignore that.]

Mr. Obama cannot give up his focus on the deteriorating situation in Pakistan. . . . Can't ignore that.

[Mr. Pitt bungled the Rove indictment scoop. Can't ignore that.]

The month of May has seen a deadly upsurge of violence in Iraq. . . . Hard to ignore that.

[The annals of DUmmieland have seen numerous late-night drunken rants and subsequent recantations by Pitt. Hard to ignore that.]

As if the world wasn't berserk enough already, North Korea abruptly decided to elbow its way onto center stage by detonating a nuclear device. . . . Can't ignore that.

[As if his career wasn't deader than a doornail already, Pitt sat out the 2008 campaign, hoping the phone would ring but it never did. Can't ignore that.]

The long goodbye for General Motors came to an end this week. . . . Can't ignore that.

[But William Rivers Pitt can ignore the Hugo Chavez-style socialism, generational theft, and economic ruin wrought by President Government.]

a new explosion in the so-called "culture wars." . . . Can't ignore that.

[A new explosion of punditry by Pied Piper Pitt. But somehow, most of the DUmmies CAN ignore that! Only eleven comments on this one!]

It almost makes you feel bad for the guy. . . .

[Well, almost. . . . Oh, I was talking about YOU, Will!]

like he's some accidental Atlas who had a whole planet suddenly land on his shoulders. . . .

[We are accidental tourists on Planet Pitt.]

No shrugs allowed.

[No shills allowed. But before we go, Will, let's hear at least one comment from a DUmmie reader. . .]

Not bad but needs a thorough editor.

[Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; pitt; williamriverspitt
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Where there's a Will, there's a DUFU!
1 posted on 06/05/2009 1:46:56 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top five?


2 posted on 06/05/2009 1:48:03 PM PDT by OldSmaj (I am an avowed enemy of islam and Obama is a damned fool and traitor. Questions?)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

Punditry-Pining Pitt PING!


3 posted on 06/05/2009 1:48:36 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Where there's a Will, there's a DUFU!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

In.


4 posted on 06/05/2009 1:49:11 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I thought the new movie “Land Of The Lost” was about Pitt.


5 posted on 06/05/2009 1:49:27 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (The man who said "there's no such thing as a stupid question" has never talked to Helen Thomas.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Truth LEFT out!


6 posted on 06/05/2009 1:51:05 PM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Ha! Top 10!


7 posted on 06/05/2009 1:58:42 PM PDT by Poser (Typed on my Woot-off $169 Asus Web Book (Linux of course))
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To: Charles Henrickson

I love the pic of Pitt with the girlie umbrella drinks.


8 posted on 06/05/2009 2:05:59 PM PDT by steve-b (Intelligent design is to evolutionary biology what socialism is to free-market economics.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
A Day in the Life

Is that an 8 hour "business" day or a 24 hour "business" day?

9 posted on 06/05/2009 2:08:36 PM PDT by techcor (I hope Obama succeeds... in becoming a one term president.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That picture is classic.
A masterpiece if I ever saw one!


10 posted on 06/05/2009 2:12:59 PM PDT by Verbosus
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top 10?


11 posted on 06/05/2009 2:13:35 PM PDT by klamath ("Forced benevolence never was charity")
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To: Charles Henrickson

That is one great picture you have there.

You put in some work on that one.


12 posted on 06/05/2009 2:14:53 PM PDT by ConservativeMind (The UN has never won a war, nor a conflict, but liberals want it to rule all militaries.)
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To: Verbosus; ConservativeMind; Roscoe Karns
That picture is classic. A masterpiece if I ever saw one!

That is one great picture you have there. You put in some work on that one.

Credit must go to our own graphic artist nonpareil, Roscoe Karns.

BTW, "Verbosus"--that would be a great screen name for the prolix Pitt.

13 posted on 06/05/2009 2:22:12 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Where there's a Will, there's a DUFU!)
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To: PJ-Comix; Roscoe Karns; mikrofon
[We are accidental tourists on Planet Pitt.]

"Prepare for landing . . ."

"That's one small schlep for Pitt, one giant sleep for mankind!"

14 posted on 06/05/2009 2:35:55 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Where there's a Will, there's a DUFU!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

15?


15 posted on 06/05/2009 2:36:19 PM PDT by BattleHymn
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To: PJ-Comix; Roscoe Karns; mikrofon
[We are accidental tourists on Planet Pitt.]


16 posted on 06/05/2009 2:36:38 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Where there's a Will, there's a DUFU!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"if Mr. Obama had nominated Jesus of Nazareth to replace Justice Souter, the GOP would now be denouncing Him for favoring a socialist welfare state because He gave away loaves and fishes and circumvented the insurance industry when He raised Lazarus from the dead."

Willie, mocking Jesus is NOT the correct path to everlasting life.

17 posted on 06/05/2009 2:42:38 PM PDT by NoGrayZone (All aboard the 1st Annual Free Republic National Tea Party Convention 9/10-9/12. Be there!!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Wee Willie needs to understand the difference between socialism and charity. Socialism would have been akin to the Roman government taking the loaves and fishes that Jesus had, and then the Roman government giving them to someone of their choice; A stark contrast to Jesus disposing of them at his free will, to whom he sees fit.


18 posted on 06/05/2009 2:42:49 PM PDT by BattleHymn
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To: Charles Henrickson
"like he's some accidental Atlas who had a whole planet suddenly land on his shoulders. . . ."

OMG, that one made me literally laugh out loud!!!

19 posted on 06/05/2009 2:45:04 PM PDT by NoGrayZone (All aboard the 1st Annual Free Republic National Tea Party Convention 9/10-9/12. Be there!!!)
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To: BattleHymn; Cletus.D.Yokel; bcsco; PJ-Comix; Paul Heinzman
Wee Willie needs to understand the difference between socialism and charity. Socialism would have been akin to the Roman government taking the loaves and fishes that Jesus had, and then the Roman government giving them to someone of their choice; A stark contrast to Jesus disposing of them at his free will, to whom he sees fit.

Exactly! I made this very point with some of my church members yesterday. For a devotion, I read Acts 2:42-48 and Acts 4:32-37, about the early Christians helping their fellow church members in need, and how that is what we can be doing too. I pointed out the distinction that you made: that this was VOLUNTARY, charity, works of mercy, done within the church. And it worked.

Conservatives are painted as heartless, selfish, lacking compassion. Some may be, but it has nothing to do with conservatism per se. I am all in favor of helping those in need, and have done so many times, voluntarily, THROUGH MY CHURCH. I just don't want the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT redistributing wealth by force, taking money away from some citizens and giving it to others, against their will.

20 posted on 06/05/2009 2:53:42 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Where there's a Will, there's a DUFU!)
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