Posted on 11/13/2009 3:48:58 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
There is tension and turmoil in DUmmieland! I know, I know, you're saying, "So what else is new?" But the normal turmoil has spiraled out of control! SOMEBODY SHOOK UP THE ANTS!! They've been at each other's THROATS lately! It's the Obama-PelosiCare bill, of course, that has got them all shook up. The DUmmies have discovered that the devil is in the details, and the details are now becoming known. So the DUmmies have been taking it out on their fellow DEMOCRATS there on DEMOCRATIC Underground, in their usual vitriolic style.
TA DA! Peace Piper Pitt rides to the rescue! "Can't have any of that there Dem-bashing in my neck of the woods!" Yes, ever the loyal party hack, Will the Shill has intervened to try to calm the troubled waters. But will he succeed?
In the days leading up to the House vote, Peace Piper Pitt posted this patronizing preemptive attempt at prog pacification, a THREAD called "A A A A A A A A R R R R G G G H H ! ! !" Then came the House vote itself, when the bill passed, and the initial euphoria was soon tempered by an outbreak of Angry, as the Reality-based Community® began to realize what PelosiCare actually would involve. So now the Magic Man™ has had to step in AGAIN to try to divert Dem dissent and dissatisfaction, in this "happy thoughts" THREAD, "Just realized I haven't done one of these in a while...."
So let's watch Pitt try to get the DUmmies to all join hands and sing Kumbaya and pass the peace pipe, in Fire-breathing Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, slaving away while PJ-Comix is sipping Flor de Caña mai tais on the white sands of Culebra, is in the [brackets]:
A A A A A A A A R R R R G G G H H ! ! !
[It's the Pitt's Brogue Pirate!]
There's so much tension here!
[The natives are restless! Peace Piper Pitt to the rescue!]
People are mean! Or judgmental! Or contrarian! Or anti-Democrat! Or anti-Obama! Or anti-anti-Democrat! Or anti-anti-Obama!
[SOMEBODY SHOOK UP THE ANTI'S!]
...and just kinda generally pissed off.
[Situation Normal: All DUmmied Up.]
But tension is what the Founders intended. If they wanted this sh*t to work seamlessly, we'd have no separation of powers/three branches of government/free speech/voting rights/printing presses/TVs/internet...and it'd be a whole lot easier that way.
[Don't give Obama ideas.]
Thank God/Yahweh/Allah/Buddha/Vishnu/The FSM/etc. it isn't like that.
[You left out Gaia.]
Me raging against you, you raging against them, them raging against us, us raging against those guys. . . .
[Raging Rivers Pitt!]
and all of us motherf*cking each other with bull-throated ferocity...
[Wee Willie's own mother, DUmmie Raven, must be proud of her boy.]
maybe it wasn't what DU was originally intended to be, but it surely is what it is today.
[Bedlam!]
Welcome to democracy.
[Welcome to DUmmieland. Now the other DUmmies chime in . . .]
Actually, your mom kind of rocks.
[This DUmmie has a "thang" for Mother Pitt. Lovely.]
I'm sorry, there are only three R's in "A A A A A A A A R R R G G G H H ! ! !"
[Is that you, Howard Dean?]
When my "free speech" gets unrecced by 30 paid bloggers whose job it is to unrec and derail every healthcare thread, that's not exactly free speech is it? Do you realize you're taking the same stance as those who say corporate funded elections = "free speech"?
[Will the Shill will shill for food drink. He responds . . .]
Plenty of Dems have some Republican ideas.
[I knew it! Pitt is a Crypto-Rethuglican! Back to Pitt's challenger . . .]
I'm familiar with your work--not calling you a troll. A DLC troll enabler sure, but not a troll.
[LOUSY DLC TROLL ENABLER PITT!!!]
What happens when this site turns into Joe Lieberman Underground. . . ?
[AKA "Joe Below." Back to Pitt . . .]
Do you feel any embarrassment whatsoever when you barf up phrases like "DLC troll enabler"? If you don't, you should. And you should also go outside for a few minutes. Just to try it out. Vitamin D is good for you.
[Way to defuse the tension there, Peace Piper Pitt! Well, now let's see how you do in your thread AFTER the House vote, the details of which only INCREASED the tension and the turmoil . . .]
Just realized I haven't done one of these in a while...
[One of these FAILED attempts at mollification.]
and no, I'm not announcing that I'm leaving DU. . . .
[Darn!]
I came to DU in May of 2001, which means I will be celebrating my 9-year anniversary as a member of this forum in six months.
[Peace Piper Pitt pisses on his post, to mark his territory as Senior Superior Sage.]
Insane, right?
[You said it!]
Like every long-time poster here, I've seen it all. I've been part of the problem sometimes. . . .
[SOMEtimes??]
This place motivated me to begin the first real, serious political action of my life.
[Which didn't last very long, since you soon became a laughingstock.]
I researched three books and countless articles here.
[This is part of a long "I, I, I" section. I'll spare you.]
DU changed my life . . . I'm sure pretty much of you, long-timers and newbies and everyone in between, could share a similar story about this place.
[Thus Pitt begins his diversionary tactic to try to quiet the crowd.]
And that is entirely entirely entirely due to the tireless efforts of Skinner, EarlG, Elad, and all the Moderators past and present.
[This is called "sucking up."]
the Admins and Moderators have worked so hard to make this place what it is.
[A madhouse!]
I am sure they feel like schoolmarms locked into a giant classroom with 50,000 demented children sometimes. . . .
[Especially when they put on their schoolmarm outfits.]
Yeah, this joint is batsh*t crazy, but it's our batsh*t crazy. . . .
[And don't think we here at DUmmie FUnnies aren't grateful!]
Given the mood and mayhem of this place lately . . .
[. . . I thought it was time to try to get your minds off those pesky details of the Pelosi plan.]
Thank you, folks. From my heart.
[No, no, thank YOU, Will! You are our hero!! Now a grateful DUmmieland responds . . .]
Hey! Weren't you part of the Kucinich campaign?
[Uh, next question. . . .]
Been thinkin' bout ya, Will, and the whirling emotions that might be churning at this time.
[After a bender at Bukowski's, Will has LOTS of things churning.]
Hey weren't you the guy who spent $650 on a dinner date?
[That was with Kevin Spacey, wasn't it?]
remember the Canadian girl who always said vis a vis.. like 30 threads a night ...wonder what ever happened to her. . . .
[She lost her visa.]
Thanks to you Pitt for coming back after quitting and being tombstoned so very many times.
[Pitt is the Freddy Krueger of DUmmieland.]
DU has made a difference, and we are all a part.
[Apart at the seams.]
IIRC, you were the reason they invented the Tombstone? You helped bury a lot of freepers in those days, eh?
[William Rivers Pith-Helmet, Hunter of Trolls.]
I have my share of scalps.
Were all the 60's hippies and radicals so thouroughly compromised that they were completely assimilated into the borg?
[It's the Pitt's Borg Stealer!]
DU was a revelation, and has become the place that I go to. . . .
[Revelation 19:20, "the lake of fire burning with brimstone."]
has anyone told you how much you look like abraham Lincoln?
[With his bald pate, expanding girth, and gravelly voice, Pitt is looking more and more like my old Jewish neighbor Abe.]
I'm glad you have stuck around all these years.
[Pitt is stuck on stupid. Besides, he doesn't have anywhere else to go.]
They will probably have to take my mouse out of my cold dead hands. . . .
[Is that you, benburch?]
Thanks Will. You are a star.
[THAT is what Will has been waiting for! But really--Will, a star? Are you Sirius?]
It's a pleasant surprise to see a navel-gazing DU meta-discussion thread that isn't complaining about this place.
[The night is young. Hey, gang, this is Head DUmmie Skinner checking in!]
I suppose being the one in charge here makes me predisposed to believe that DU is doing just fine, but let me just say: DU is doing just fine.
[Head DUmmie Skinner does his Baghdad Bob impression.]
The mild feeling of discomfort and confusion that many people have been feeling lately is fairly easily explained. . . .
[Little things, really. Like Obama and Pelosi selling out to the insurance companies. Like, "You mean, my boss might drop my health insurance plan and make me buy government insurance??" Like, "You mean, fines and jail terms if you don't buy the government insurance??" Like, "You mean, Somebody Else ain't gonna pay for my health care??" You know, those niggly little details. Other than that, everything's hunky-dory.]
We run the country now.
[Kyrie eleison! Well, enough from Head DUmmie Skinner; back to the peon DUmmies . . .]
The fact that William Pitt, one of our movement's most passionate and felicitous writers, is a (mostly) regular here is a testament to the caliber of activist journalism DU attracts.
[Journalist Pitt . . . Wasn't he the one who broke the Rove indictment story? Yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now. . . .]
I came to DU in December of 2003. It was an interesting day: Patrick Fitzgerald was assigned the Plame investigation, and you (Will Pitt) wrote what I still consider one of the absolute best essays on the case.
[That must have been the FIRST time Rove was indicted.]
My intitial goal was to stay until 7-14-04. "Old-timers" here will remember why that date stuck out.
[The second Rove indictment?]
Will, I was with you at Camp Casey.
[Fire ants in the ditch! Get the Off!]
I love it. The thread titles are always like: "DU has changed so much!" (I've been here for over 7 years, and there is one of those threads a month.) So, no, nothing's changed.
[Change McSame.]
In the years since I came here in 2003, I've stirred the pot many times. . . .
[And smoked it many more.]
Will, you are far too modest.
[Will has plenty to be modest about!]
My favorite Will Pitt story: I went to Camp Casey in Crawford. First day I was there, I walked around taking pictures of the bumper stickers on cars. The best one was the car where someone had typed out a Will Pitt quote and taped it to the inside of the rear window of their car.
[That must have been Will's rental car.]
Thank you for making this my favourite political site!
[Where I can use Euro-wannabe spelling and everything!]
I am a liberal-site-whore. . . .
[Leftward ho!]
Yay Will! You still have that d*mn earring stuck in your ear?
[And with that comment about the shiny object in Will's ear, we now see that Pitt's effort at temporarily diverting the DUmmies from the devilish details of ObamaCare was, in this thread at least, SUCCESSFUL! But stay tuned, I'm sure the fur will be flying soon enough, next time on DUmmie FUnnies!]
Beat the ping! Woo hoo!
ibtp
PING!
Wow, that’s a lotta Pitt bs.
top 10
Now you're getting nasty...
It's not just Pitt. It's a lot of other DUmmies, too. Really, it's about Pitt trying to get the DUmmies to quit fighting.
What? SuperPitt!
BLP!
Big Loser Pitt?
Doesn't Pitt deserve a Kewpie for this?
LOL! Good one, narrowly missed the top 10, again.
That guy looks like he got beat with an ugly stick. His wife too.
It's the booze and the fags. And Will just turned 38 this month.
In the words of Henry Kissinger on Arab/Israeli relations: "we have found some basis for agreement." The caliber of a pen armed Pitt is a testament to the quality of people DU attracts.
William Pitt, one of our movement's most pestilent and fictitious writers. . . .
Possibly.
Bleeping Liberal People?
Butt Loving Poseurs?
Bizarre Lefty Pests?
But coming in at #10, I was thinking more like "Bow, Lesser Posters!" [and also feverishly thinking that typing all that might make me #11 or #12.]
IS this an AAAARRRGH thread or an UGGGNH thread?
If you stop right there, you have a succinct dinner introduction for the man.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.