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Teleprompter 2.0 Released, Now with Pronunciation Guide
The Vitamin Press ^ | 02/10/2010 | Kip Hooker

Posted on 02/10/2010 10:46:06 AM PST by TheVitaminPress

Washington- White House Press Secretary Barry Gibbs advised the Washington Press Corps, this morning, that the Teleprompter was recovering nicely and would be resuming its role as President of the United States by early tomorrow. There had been much concern over the health and mental status of the Teleprompter over the last few months as many -that is to say many in the alternative press- had began to notice that the Teleprompter was directing Official Teleprompter Spokesperson (OTS) Buraq Obama to mispronounce words such as orion (oar-ee-on), corps man (corpse man) and most recently highly offend a delegation of dignitaries from Phuket, Thailand. Shortly after the last fiasco George Soros made the decision that the Teleprompter be taken off-line so that the problem could be fully diagnosed and addressed.

After hours of diagnostic tests yesterday it was determined by lead surgeon -Dr. Baltimore, M.D.- that the issue did not lie with the Teleprompter at all but was rather due to OTS Obama’s limited talent with English – which is immediately understandable as it is the man’s second language.

To remedy this situation it was further decided, again by Soros, to upgrade the Teleprompter with a pronunciation guide and and subject Obama to a lengthy session of remedial education, similar to the one he was put through to teach him that there are not 57 states, George W. Bush did not serve three terms, the Presidential Inauguration is in January and not November, breathalyzers are not prescribed to treat asthma, it is improper etiquette to walk through windows or catch the White House on fire, there is no Mexican Holiday known as Cinco de Quatro, German -not Austrian- is the official language of Austria, the official oath of office (as transcribed from the U.S. Constitution), that even though dead people might vote for him he does not see them at Memorial Day Services, that Henry Ford did not invent the automobile, his father did not own a time machine and that he should not show fealty to foreign powers by bowing to their overlords.

Gibbs also informed those in attendance at the press conference that until the Teleprompter could again assume its duties and responsibilities the country was in good hands . . . Joe Biden’s.


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: obama; sarcasm; satire; teleprompter; totus
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1 posted on 02/10/2010 10:46:09 AM PST by TheVitaminPress
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To: TheVitaminPress

I have a better idea. Why doesn’t the White House hire Milli Vanilli to coach nobama to lip sync. That way everything could just be recorded ahead of time. All nobama would have to do is his best “Howdy Doody” imitation.


2 posted on 02/10/2010 10:48:53 AM PST by hal ogen
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To: John Semmens

You might get a kick out of this.


3 posted on 02/10/2010 10:49:37 AM PST by houeto (Remember in November!)
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To: hal ogen

Haha, wish I’d thought of that.


4 posted on 02/10/2010 10:50:37 AM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

LOL! Paging Robert Gibbs, paging Robert Gibbs.


5 posted on 02/10/2010 10:52:43 AM PST by mombonn (God is looking for spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.)
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To: houeto

We are big fans of The Arizona Conservative Blog!


6 posted on 02/10/2010 10:53:35 AM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Not the teleprompter’s fault?

Gee. I thought for sure it was all wee-wee’d up.


7 posted on 02/10/2010 10:54:24 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (Free Republic. The BEST place anywhere to PIMP YOUR BLOG)
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To: hal ogen
I have a better idea. Why doesn’t the White House hire Milli Vanilli to coach nobama to lip sync.

No. What he needs is an ear bud and William Shatner speaking the "language of the deal" like he does in a commercial. That would be funny. I wonder how much of a moonbat Shatner is and if he would be willing to do a spoof of Obama.

8 posted on 02/10/2010 10:54:37 AM PST by techcor (I hope Obama succeeds... in becoming a one term president.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Nothing’s going to save the corpse-man.


9 posted on 02/10/2010 10:56:06 AM PST by Mach9 (.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Obama should read and heed the words on Palin’s palm, rather than the words on his teleprompter.

If Obama would cut taxes and lower energy costs (drill here, drill now), he would solve a number of national problems.

More people could afford to buy their own health insurance and could afford to pay their own mortgage.

More businesses could afford to hire employees.


10 posted on 02/10/2010 10:56:11 AM PST by syriacus (If ALL religions are equal, why go halfway around the world to learn to practice a different one?)
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To: techcor

“Gun. Right foot ... left foot.”


11 posted on 02/10/2010 10:58:38 AM PST by MHGinTN (Obots, believing they cannot be deceived, it is impossible to convince them when they are deceived.)
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To: syriacus

His agenda is not to build America up but tear it down. He’s on schedule.


12 posted on 02/10/2010 10:58:52 AM PST by presently no screen name
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To: Responsibility2nd

It’s not his fault . . . he inherited this teleprompter.


13 posted on 02/10/2010 10:58:54 AM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: Mach9

It’s funny hearing all the apologists explaining away his mispronunciation of that word. My favorite is the argument that “its just not a word that most Americans are familiar with”. I’ve been chuckling about that all day.


14 posted on 02/10/2010 11:01:40 AM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: mombonn
Run - Sarah - Run


America's wish and dream



The American Dream

15 posted on 02/10/2010 11:07:58 AM PST by B-Cause (Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: B-Cause

The new telepromter will be in Ebonics


16 posted on 02/10/2010 11:13:23 AM PST by shadeaud ("If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." -- George Carlin)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Phuket, Thailand?

So you’re saying, he, like, pronounced it THIGH-land?


17 posted on 02/10/2010 11:15:36 AM PST by StAntKnee (I keep thinking I'm gonna wake up from this dream theatre of the absurd.)
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To: StAntKnee

ROFLMAO, that is exactly how he pronounced it. Apparently he was thinking of Michelle at the time.


18 posted on 02/10/2010 11:23:59 AM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress; Slings and Arrows; Revolting cat!

Do you remember when Taco Bell used to have phonetic guides next to the menu items?

For people who couldn’t figure out TACO?


19 posted on 02/10/2010 11:30:03 AM PST by a fool in paradise ("like it or not, we have to have a financial system that is healthy and functioning" Obama 2/4/2010)
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To: TheVitaminPress

And how’d he do with Phuket?


20 posted on 02/10/2010 11:30:47 AM PST by StAntKnee (I keep thinking I'm gonna wake up from this dream theatre of the absurd.)
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