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| From The Vitamin Press |
Posted on 04/02/2010 6:19:29 PM PDT by TheVitaminPress
A worried nation can breathe a collective sigh of relief this morning as doctors for former Minnesota governor, and once and future presidential candidate, Mitt Romney have downgraded the photogenic politician’s condition from critical to merely serious. Romney (who has been a patient at the Pershing General Medical Center for three days now after having been found despondent in a ball-pit at a local Chucky Cheese where he was -according to eyewitness accounts- sharing a romantic evening with an unidentified teen pop star whose initials are J.B.) is said to be in good spirits and looking forward to fully regaining his health and returning to the very important work of providing Americans with quality used vehicles at very affordable prices.
Details of the illness plaguing Romney have been sketchy so far but, through the process of a weeks long investigation of pertinent events, The Vitamin Press can now give a reasonably accurate accounting of his condition and the circumstances that led to it. During the course of this investigation we learned that Romney – upset that President Buraq Obama had stolen his model for socialized medicine, added a tanning bed tax and then passed off the plan as his own- swore revenge on the Kenyan born leader of the progressively less free world by staging a private boycott of all tanning salons the world over. Unfortunately, unbeknown to Romney, his personal manager had already committed him to a charity tan off against famous CBS news anchor, and founding father, George Hamilton. Unwilling to bear the shame and humiliation of losing the match Romney pursued the only course left to him, tanning pills.
Doctor’s expect Romney to make a full recovery. Prospects for his political career, considering this nation is set to be administered a lethal dose of Obromny care, are rather less certain.
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| From The Vitamin Press |
How did he screw up Massachusetts’ health care from Minnesota?
It’s easier to spell Minnesota...
Hey, was it over before the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!”
Very carefully.
I’m pretty sure he was governor of one of those states starting with “M.” Maine? Montana? Madagascar? I’m pretty sure it’s not Massachusetts, because the Kennedys run that state and they always elect Democrats. Scott Brown was the first Republican in the history of the state to win anything.
not so funny. turn your sights outside, not inside.
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| From The Vitamin Press |
Oh to have fine Senators of old like John Blutarsky.
He probably would have been far more honest.
Nice try...honest!
When was Mitt Romney a former Governor of Minnesota?
What do you expect from an April Fool’s post that’s a day late?
It seems that we had our information wrong. Mitt Romney is not currently, nor has he ever been, a former governor of Minnesota. He has never been involved in a charity tan off opposite George Hamilton either. Sorry for the confusion.
Ping!
Thank you! I so hope he doesn’t take the nom in ‘12. As of right now I’m rooting for Michelle Bachmann. Of course it I don’t know that she will run . . . but hey a guy can hope right!
I’m glad he’s going to be ok, but I wish he would get a second opinion on his chronic hair condition. I just want to mess it all up in the front and see what happens.
LOL, I think it would go right back into position.
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