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Unemployment Benefits Great Stimulus to Economy Says Pelosi (satire)
Semi-News/Semi-Satire | 10 July 2010 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/10/2010 1:33:43 PM PDT by John Semmens

According to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif), persisting high rates of unemployment aren’t the bad news a lot of doomsayers contend. That is, as long as the unemployment checks keep coming. As Pelosi sees it, the spending of these checks by the unemployed is an underappreciated stimulus to the economy.

“A working person is bogged down by having to spend up to 40 hours or more per week to get paid,” Pelosi pointed out. “Freed of this encumbrance, the recipient of unemployment benefits has many more hours to aggressively spend the money he or she receives. This robust demand is what will quickly pull the economy out of the recession.”

Further, unemployment checks are even better than paychecks because “the purchasing power of paychecks is reduced by withholding taxes while unemployment checks are largely tax-free. And while a person is apt to save part of a paycheck, the recipient of unemployment, knowing that the government is looking after him, can go ahead and spend it all.”

“In an ideal world all compensation would be distributed by the government,” Pelosi envisioned. “No one would be forced to grub for money. People who wanted to work could go to work. People who didn’t wouldn’t have to. No one would have to worry that they would starve just because they don’t want to have to punch a time clock. Working toward this ideal has been my mission since I entered public service. I believe we are closer to achieving it than we ever have been.”


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: collectivism; democrats; satire; unemployment

1 posted on 07/10/2010 1:33:48 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Ergo, Obama, we need more unemployment!....Yours truly, Pelosi.


2 posted on 07/10/2010 1:38:56 PM PDT by himno hero
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To: John Semmens

Further, unemployment checks are even better than paychecks because “the purchasing power of paychecks is reduced by withholding taxes while unemployment checks are largely tax-free.

Egad is this woman insane? My unemploment check is half of what my paycheck was.


3 posted on 07/10/2010 1:42:47 PM PDT by vwbug
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To: John Semmens

So, as I understand the Democratic intellect, we get rich by:

1) Raising taxes on industries and the wealthy
2) Paying people to NOT WORK, as much, or more than people who do work
3) Giving free medical treatment to anyone who can wander into a hospital, or can call an ambulance to pick them up
4) Restricting the energy consumption of our industries
5) Opening our borders to anyone with a will to cross them
6) Allow illegal aliens the right to vote, collect unemployment, food stamps, free education and refuse to enforce our own Federal Immigration laws.

And then they sit back and are perplexed and wonder why all the Democratic states are going bankrupt.

Do you have to be a retard to be a Democrat, or does it just help you get into leadership?


4 posted on 07/10/2010 1:43:13 PM PDT by Hodar (Who needs laws .... when this "feels" so right?)
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To: John Semmens
Well, in a socialist society it is every ones bread and butter, if we need to replenish the money vaults all we have to do is invade and go to war if anyone is available to fight. /s
5 posted on 07/10/2010 1:43:44 PM PDT by EGPWS (Trust in God, question everyone else)
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To: John Semmens

This woman is truly an idiot. The only thing unemployment benefits are doing is adding to the deficit.


6 posted on 07/10/2010 1:43:52 PM PDT by MadAnthony1776 (A liberals vision of paradise is God's definition of hell!!!)
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To: John Semmens

You’re losing your touch John. What she said sounded an awful lot like your “satire”.


7 posted on 07/10/2010 1:46:25 PM PDT by jimfree (In 2012 Sarah Palin will continue to have more relevant quality executive experience than B. Obama.)
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To: MadAnthony1776
This woman is truly an idiot.

Enough with the personal attacks, this woman is a democrat and that's all. ; )

8 posted on 07/10/2010 1:47:04 PM PDT by EGPWS (Trust in God, question everyone else)
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To: vwbug

Unemployment is NOT tax free.


9 posted on 07/10/2010 1:47:12 PM PDT by Carley (For those who fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know.)
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To: John Semmens

Much like giving a shot of whiskey to cure a hangover.


10 posted on 07/10/2010 1:52:04 PM PDT by Huskrrrr
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To: John Semmens
Money taken from the profit margin is given into the profit-making system ....

The Mobius strip fascinates me.

11 posted on 07/10/2010 1:52:24 PM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: John Semmens

What an idiotic claim. Considering the source, however, it is to be expected, She reminds one of Saddam Hussein’s spokesman.


12 posted on 07/10/2010 1:53:17 PM PDT by billhilly
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To: John Semmens

10 out of the first 11 ... not bad John


13 posted on 07/10/2010 1:53:28 PM PDT by tx_eggman (Liberalism is only possible in that moment when a man chooses Barabas over Christ.)
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To: MadAnthony1776

Well, for the people that have lost their jobs, the unemployment check is their lifeline. All $300 a week of it. Without that UI check, they would likely be homeless. Free to spend all of it? What a narrow minded comment. $1200 a month. But, for many, its a lifesaver.


14 posted on 07/10/2010 1:53:41 PM PDT by Concho
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To: John Semmens

“No one would have to worry that they would starve just because they don’t want to have to punch a time clock”

Just don’t be a registered Republican.


15 posted on 07/10/2010 1:53:46 PM PDT by Huskrrrr
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To: Carley

I know


16 posted on 07/10/2010 1:53:52 PM PDT by vwbug
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To: vwbug

This is satire.


17 posted on 07/10/2010 1:56:50 PM PDT by Maceman
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To: John Semmens

hey Nancy. how’s your DEFENSE fund coming along?


18 posted on 07/10/2010 2:00:32 PM PDT by Doogle (IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN....PLEASE donate, because it's the RIGHT thing to do)
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To: John Semmens
Pelosi has become so arcane that someone needs to gag her, and put her in a closet.

Spending brrowed future tax dollars on Unemployment checks is just a way to pay people not to work, why not pay them to work and produce?This is a zero sum gane and she obviously is to dumb to get it.Massive Ponnzi scheme, and thats all the government ha becomme, a massive Ponzi schemeborrowing on future tax dollars doomed to disappear.

19 posted on 07/10/2010 2:11:12 PM PDT by Candor7 (Obama .......yes.......is fascist... ...He meets every diagnostic of history)
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To: Huskrrrr
Much like giving a shot of whiskey to cure a hangover.

Much like giving the keys to a bar to cure a hangover...

20 posted on 07/10/2010 2:20:49 PM PDT by EGPWS (Trust in God, question everyone else)
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To: John Semmens

What an idiotic claim. Considering the source, however, it is to be expected, She reminds one of Saddam Hussein’s spokesman.


21 posted on 07/10/2010 2:23:10 PM PDT by billhilly
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To: John Semmens

Last I heard, most unemployment checks go to banks (mortgages), utilities (energy companies), and food - oops - an industry Obama hasn’t tried to take over yet.

Nancy Pelosi is dumber than dirt.


22 posted on 07/10/2010 2:25:09 PM PDT by oldmomster
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To: John Semmens

“In an ideal world all compensation would be distributed by the government,” Pelosi envisioned. “No one would be forced to grub for money. People who wanted to work could go to work. People who didn’t wouldn’t have to. No one would have to worry that they would starve just because they don’t want to have to punch a time clock. Working toward this ideal has been my mission since I entered public service. I believe we are closer to achieving it than we ever have been.”

I just can’t believe this - this woman is sincerely and completely nuts - and how come we havent heard about this insane suggestion! If you don’t want to go to work???????

Arghhhhhh


23 posted on 07/10/2010 2:27:35 PM PDT by oldmomster
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To: himno hero

And she is the house leader!!!!!


24 posted on 07/10/2010 2:29:12 PM PDT by doc
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To: John Semmens

Funny as a wheelchair...


25 posted on 07/10/2010 2:30:00 PM PDT by jonascord (We've got the Constitution to protect us. Why should we worry?)
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To: John Semmens

This is the kind of stupid that is the left


26 posted on 07/10/2010 2:31:52 PM PDT by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards.com <--- My Fiction/ Science Fiction Board)
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To: John Semmens

Someone should start a NotParody Blog


27 posted on 07/10/2010 2:32:21 PM PDT by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards.com <--- My Fiction/ Science Fiction Board)
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To: Candor7

Its a gaffe worthy of Joe Biden


28 posted on 07/10/2010 2:33:27 PM PDT by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards.com <--- My Fiction/ Science Fiction Board)
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To: EGPWS

Good one!


29 posted on 07/10/2010 2:34:02 PM PDT by Huskrrrr
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To: John Semmens

Sorry, blood pressure returning to normal - didn’t see the sarc tag.


30 posted on 07/10/2010 2:47:27 PM PDT by oldmomster
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To: GeronL

Welfare payments are good for the economy. Give up your job today!!!!!!/s


31 posted on 07/10/2010 3:15:33 PM PDT by Candor7 (Obama .......yes.......is fascist... ...He meets every diagnostic of history)
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To: tx_eggman

LOL. I will be receiving this in my e-mail by tomorrow, complete with total outrage and calls for impeachment. Then some smart... will send around the message that Snopes says”This is false”.


32 posted on 07/10/2010 3:24:49 PM PDT by WVNan
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To: John Semmens

I do have to say though, John, that this is one of the best satire pieces yet. Because it is so close to being exactly something she would say.


33 posted on 07/10/2010 3:29:16 PM PDT by WVNan
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To: John Semmens

She is truly a brainless wonder. Pelosi has to be from a foreign planet, perhaps called the planet ‘stupid’.


34 posted on 07/10/2010 4:18:03 PM PDT by Hattie
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To: Concho

You missed the point. The point is you’re robbing Peter to pay Paul. That does not grow the economy. Also by extending benefits out to almost 2 years those that go on unemployment tend to wait till the benefits are almost run out before they start looking in earnest. I know people like that. The comment was she was stupid to say it grows the economy. It does not!!! It just rearranges it. The money the recipient spends makes up for the money the person paying the tax can’t spend.


35 posted on 07/11/2010 8:18:42 AM PDT by MadAnthony1776 (A liberals vision of paradise is God's definition of hell!!!)
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To: John Semmens

You nailed it! LOL


36 posted on 07/11/2010 8:21:25 AM PDT by SvenWaring
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