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DUmmie FUnnies 01-14-11 (It's a Zodiac moment: "What's your sign?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 14, 2011 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 01/14/2011 7:29:45 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

"This is the dawning of the Age of . . . Ophiuchus??" There's been a change in the cosmos, and count on DUmmieland to be on top of it! We get the news from outer space here in this THREAD, "What's your sign?"

So let us boldly go where no sane person has gone before (save for LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!) and gaze at the DUmmies gazing up at the heavens, in I Am Sirius Red, while the commentary of your Hubble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, whose only sign is the sign of the cross, is in the [brackets]:

What's your sign?

["I'M WITH STUPID." Guess which way the arrow is pointing.]

Did anyone know that the astrological signs have changed?

[Does anybody really care?]

Did anyone know a new sign was added?

[If that's a good thing, thank Obama. If that's a bad thing, blame Bush Palin.]

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 6
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

[Ophiuchus??]

the stars have shifted in the night sky so much that horoscope signs are nearly a month off.

[Palin's fault. Her kid was dancing with the stars.]

The shift is caused by precession, the wobble in the Earth's axis. . . .

[Aw jeez, not this shift again!]

The Earth is like a wobbly top.

[And the DUmmies are the Wobblies.]

[And now the DUmmies reply . . .]

Is that an Ophiuchus in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

[As you can see in the graphic, Ophiuchus is some guy holding a snake. It looks like he's taken it out of his pocket.]

It used to be Scorpio. . . .

[Just like poor DUmmie Mr. Scorpio. Now we'll have to call him Mr. Ophiuchus.]

how do I break it to my Mom that she's now an "O'PhooeyCuss??"

[Tell her it's a Zodiac moment.]

What happened to the missing ten days in September?

[If you were born September 7-15, you're SOL--which is not a reference to the Sun, by the way.]

Oh no, I'm not alive.

[Tombstoned Undersky.]

People love to talk about themselves; if all else fails, a discussion of star signs will prompt social intercourse. . . .

[At least.]

'I'm a Virgo. . . .'

[Not for long, once social intercourse has been prompted.]

Heres my sign . . .

[I believe you!]

I am a VIRGO now. damn what to do?

[This is a tipping point, DUmmie nadinbrzezinksi. Go get tipped.]

I was a Virgo now I'm a Leo. gosh will my personality have to undergo a change. . . .

[Don't worry, you'll still be the same obnoxious you.]

I'm a fish still swimming with the tide. . . .

[Carpal Tidal Syndrome.]

Gravity from the moon pulled the earth off it's normal axis, somewhat, and threw the zodiac(constellation) off by a month.

[The moonbats are deeply disturbed.]

I read this years ago, that it would happen as we approach 2012.

[The Democrats' horoscope for November 6, 2012: Aries the Ram will converge with Uranus.]

I was always a Taurus on the cusp with Aries so moving me firmly into Aries wouldn't be that big a deal.

[Bill Clinton would like to move firmly into Virgo, but that WOULD be a big deal now at his age.]

If you considered yourself a Cancer under the tropical zodiac last week, you're still a Cancer. . . .

[Even though Pitt has quit smoking, he's still a Cancer.]

I am so NOT a Taurus.

[I don't know about that. I'd say you're FULL of Bull.]

So, now I'm a Capricorn after I've been an Aquarius for 39 years?

[This is the ending of the age of Aquarius.]

It's after noon somewhere in the world! That's the only sign I need!

[Let the drinking begin!]

I was born under the Stop sign!

[Now you're under this one . . .]

List of key words describing the sign of Ophiuchus . . . serpent holder . . . tax assessor, or levys taxes. . . .

[Yep, sounds like a Democrat!]

Pass with care

[That would NOT be a Democrat!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: astrology; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; ophiuchus; sign; zodiac
Li'l Beaver was born under THIS sign:


1 posted on 01/14/2011 7:29:52 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top FIVE? Gedouddahea.


2 posted on 01/14/2011 7:31:04 PM PST by Libloather (Teapublican, PROUD birther, mobster, pro-lifer, anti-warmer, enemy of the state, extremist....)
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To: Charles Henrickson

ibtp


3 posted on 01/14/2011 7:31:36 PM PST by digger48
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

DUncing with the Stars PING!!


4 posted on 01/14/2011 7:34:49 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (DUncing with the Stars.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
My birth sign said “Zarazheno.”
5 posted on 01/14/2011 7:35:39 PM PST by GAB-1955 (I write books, love my wife, serve my nation, and believe in the Resurrection.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Did anyone know a new sign was added?

Sphinctus the hole?
6 posted on 01/14/2011 7:37:47 PM PST by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: Blue Jays

Funny stuff!


7 posted on 01/14/2011 7:43:05 PM PST by Blue Jays (Rock Hard, Ride Free)
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To: Charles Henrickson

9


8 posted on 01/14/2011 7:46:40 PM PST by listenhillary (20 years in Reverend Wright's church is all I need to determine the "content of his character")
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To: listenhillary

These DUmmies worship the flying spagetti monster.


9 posted on 01/14/2011 7:50:26 PM PST by MtnClimber (Osama and Obama both hate freedom and have friends that bombed the Pentagon)
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To: Charles Henrickson

10!


10 posted on 01/14/2011 7:53:08 PM PST by wjcsux ("In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." - George Orwell)
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To: Charles Henrickson

They are missing one sign: FUBO!


11 posted on 01/14/2011 7:54:13 PM PST by Newtoidaho (Liberals are drooling buffoons backed by satanic goons.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Hummmm... so now I used to be a Cancer cusp and now I anm a Gemini... do I have to switch my personality or do I have a split personality? Did I just becone a twin crab? Actually maybe this is all just the bologna sign
12 posted on 01/14/2011 7:57:42 PM PST by myrabach
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To: myrabach

I am now a Leo.


13 posted on 01/14/2011 8:00:16 PM PST by Mears
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To: Charles Henrickson

If you weree born between Sep 6 and Sep 16 you apparently are a Zero.


14 posted on 01/14/2011 8:04:07 PM PST by Mears
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top 5 and paper towels for the keyboard! Earl Grey has sprayed.


15 posted on 01/14/2011 8:04:20 PM PST by PA Engineer (Liberate America from the occupation media. There are Wars and Rumors of War.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

True story: At a bar several years ago, some drunken dunce wandered up to me and asked “hey, what’s your sign?” I looked him straight in the eye and said “Stop”. My fiance tapped him on the shoulder and said “No Trespassing.”


16 posted on 01/14/2011 8:06:30 PM PST by madamemayhem (defeat is not getting knocked down, it is not getting back up.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

No DUmmie astrological thread is complete without Uranus. Paging Ben Burch!


17 posted on 01/14/2011 8:15:37 PM PST by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’m an Aries, and will always be an Aries.

Their changes aren’t retroactive. lol


18 posted on 01/14/2011 8:16:42 PM PST by KoRn (Department of Homeland Security, Certified - "Right Wing Extremist")
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To: Newtoidaho

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha, and haha.


19 posted on 01/14/2011 8:24:08 PM PST by annieokie
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To: Charles Henrickson

My horoscope said I would be Top 20


20 posted on 01/14/2011 9:10:27 PM PST by JRios1968 (This is me, in a nutshell: "Let me out of here...I'm trapped in a nutshell!!!!")
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To: Charles Henrickson

Thanks for the ping. :)


21 posted on 01/14/2011 9:37:32 PM PST by IMissPresidentReagan (A kid like Prescot & still prolife all the days of his life. President Reagan was truly a saint!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Harrumph!
My sign changed.

It used to be Virgo.
Now it's .. 'Keep Off The Grass'.
...................

22 posted on 01/15/2011 4:07:16 AM PST by Condor51 (Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
List of key words describing the sign of Ophiuchus . . . serpent holder . . . tax assessor, or levys taxes. . . .

[Yep, sounds like a Democrat!]

Must be a lot of democRATs born under that sign.

23 posted on 01/15/2011 5:07:20 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (America has two cancers - democrats and RINOS.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Orphiuchus, huh? Looks more like Benburchius to me!


24 posted on 01/15/2011 5:28:40 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Islam is a violent and tyrannical political ideology and has nothing to do with "religion".)
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To: Charles Henrickson
If you considered yourself a Cancer under the tropical zodiac last week, you're still a Cancer

File this under "The Jokes Write Themselves"!

25 posted on 01/15/2011 5:33:19 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Islam is a violent and tyrannical political ideology and has nothing to do with "religion".)
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To: Charles Henrickson

My sign? Dollar.


26 posted on 01/15/2011 6:07:14 AM PST by 3catsanadog (If healthcare reform is passed, 41 years old will be the new 65 YO.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
My Horoscope

Jupiter's gone into Orion, and come into conjunction with Mars
Saturn is wheeling across infinite space .. to its preordained place in the stars

And I gaze at the planets in wonder
At the trouble and time they spend

All to warn me to "be careful
In dealings involving a friend."

-Donald Swann

27 posted on 01/15/2011 6:09:03 AM PST by Notary Sojac (We have had three central banks in America's history: two of them failed and so will this one....)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Didn’t you write a parody song based on “Age of Aquarius” a while back?


28 posted on 01/15/2011 6:16:02 AM PST by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I was a twin.

Now I is a Raging Bull.

Something ain’t right. Was a raging bull in my yout; now more a Ferdinand.


29 posted on 01/15/2011 6:55:33 AM PST by Ole Okie
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To: Charles Henrickson

Whoop! Top 30...again.


30 posted on 01/15/2011 7:41:03 AM PST by Budge (Who will protect us from the protectors?)
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To: PJ-Comix
Didn’t you write a parody song based on “Age of Aquarius” a while back?

Yes, I did. It was in the DUFU of January 19, 2009, the Eve of the Inauguration of Obamassiah. I'll post the title and the music links here in this post, and the lyrics in the next post (so I don't have to reformat all the lines).

HILARIOUS/LET THE MOONBATS IN
Tune: "Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In" Original MIDI


31 posted on 01/15/2011 7:43:20 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Adventures in Parodies.)
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To: PJ-Comix

HILARIOUS/LET THE MOONBATS IN

When the moonbats win the White House
And stupider aligns with Marx
Then we will mock the moonbats
We’ll laugh to hear their barks

This is the dawning of an age that’s hilarious
Age that’s hilarious
Hilarious!
Hilarious!

Parody of Undergrounders
Comedy and laughs abounding
So much fodder for the FUnnies
From the blotter of the DUmmies
When they’re let down by Obama
There’ll be comic melodrama
Hilarious!
Hilarious!

When the moonbats win the White House
And stupider aligns with Marx
Then we will mock the moonbats
We’ll laugh to hear their barks

This is the dawning of an age that’s hilarious
Age that’s hilarious
Hilarious!
Hilarious!
Hilarious!
Hilarious!

Let the moonbats, let the moonbats in, the moonbats in
Let the moonbats, let the moonbats in, the moonbats in
Let the moonbats, let the moonbats in, the moonbats in . . .

Oh, let ‘em fly, c’mon
Now everybody just bark along
And let the moonbats on in
Open up the DUFUs and let ‘em fly on in
And when you want FUnnie, hey, let ‘em fly on
You got to open up the DUFUs and let ‘em fly on in
And when you feel like you’ve need a freepin’
And your blogs turn too bleak for you
Just open the DUFUs and let ‘em fly on in
You got to DUFU
You got to DUFU
Open up the DUFUs and let ‘em fly on in
Let me tell you one thing
I want you to laugh along with the DUmmie FUnnies
Hey, open up the DUFUs
C’mon
And let ‘em fly
The Beaver will say
Hey, you got to DUFU
You got to DUFU . . .


32 posted on 01/15/2011 7:44:07 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Adventures in Parodies.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
What happened to the missing ten days in September?

That's the new Labor Day break -- take off, sit back, relax....

33 posted on 01/15/2011 7:44:48 AM PST by mikrofon (As usual)
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To: Charles Henrickson
So, now I'm a Capricorn after I've been an Aquarius for 39 years?

You can take it easy now, and let a fellow Lib carry the water now...

34 posted on 01/15/2011 7:49:18 AM PST by mikrofon (Fellow Travelers)
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To: Charles Henrickson
My Mom said I was born under this sign:


35 posted on 01/15/2011 7:55:26 AM PST by COBOL2Java (Obama is the least qualified guy in whatever room he walks into.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I use to be an Aquarius and now I’m a Capricorn, according to the DUmmies.


36 posted on 01/15/2011 11:44:17 AM PST by lwd
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To: Charles Henrickson
Astrologers strike back: New zodiac sign Ophiuchus is an old hoax

DUmmies!

37 posted on 01/15/2011 11:56:04 AM PST by lwd
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To: Charles Henrickson

My sign is unlisted, but boy did that midi conjure up images of peace signs, tie-dye, batik, drugs, naked babies’ butts, flowers and mud!

It’s actually a good song. Too bad it was pressed into service by the left.


38 posted on 01/15/2011 1:46:26 PM PST by Lauren BaRecall (Rep. Steve King - 5th Iowa - is my current heartthrob.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Remember, in a few months it will be the FIFTH anniversary of Pied Piper Pitt Day. No need to work on it now but for some reason I was picturing Pitt singing his version of “Tomorrow Belongs to Me” from “Cabaret.” It would be Pitt fantasizing what would have happened IF Karl Rove had been indicted and the Pittster became a glorious hero and respected pundit.


39 posted on 01/15/2011 6:17:41 PM PST by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
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To: Budge; Charles Henrickson
Howdy, Budge! Long time, pal ............................. FRegards
40 posted on 01/15/2011 10:02:57 PM PST by gonzo ( Buy more ammo, dammit! You should already have the firearms .................. FRegards)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Good thing I don’t take astrology seriously. I was born September 8th.


41 posted on 01/16/2011 8:50:47 AM PST by SandyInSeattle (When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.)
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To: gonzo

Too long my FRiend!


42 posted on 01/17/2011 7:47:12 AM PST by Budge (Who will protect us from the protectors?)
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To: gonzo

Too long my FRiend!


43 posted on 01/17/2011 7:47:13 AM PST by Budge (Who will protect us from the protectors?)
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To: Charles Henrickson

How will Ms. Cleo adapt to this unforseen astrological upheaval?


44 posted on 01/18/2011 11:05:23 AM PST by YourAdHere (Joey Greco '12)
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