Skip to comments.DUmmie FUnnies 01-14-11 (It's a Zodiac moment: "What's your sign?")
Posted on 01/14/2011 7:29:45 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
"This is the dawning of the Age of . . . Ophiuchus??" There's been a change in the cosmos, and count on DUmmieland to be on top of it! We get the news from outer space here in this THREAD, "What's your sign?"
So let us boldly go where no sane person has gone before (save for LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!) and gaze at the DUmmies gazing up at the heavens, in I Am Sirius Red, while the commentary of your Hubble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, whose only sign is the sign of the cross, is in the [brackets]:
What's your sign?
["I'M WITH STUPID." Guess which way the arrow is pointing.]
Did anyone know that the astrological signs have changed?
[Does anybody really care?]
Did anyone know a new sign was added?
[If that's a good thing, thank Obama. If that's a bad thing, blame
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 6
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20
the stars have shifted in the night sky so much that horoscope signs are nearly a month off.
[Palin's fault. Her kid was dancing with the stars.]
The shift is caused by precession, the wobble in the Earth's axis. . . .
[Aw jeez, not this shift again!]
The Earth is like a wobbly top.
[And the DUmmies are the Wobblies.]
[And now the DUmmies reply . . .]
Is that an Ophiuchus in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
[As you can see in the graphic, Ophiuchus is some guy holding a snake. It looks like he's taken it out of his pocket.]
It used to be Scorpio. . . .
[Just like poor DUmmie Mr. Scorpio. Now we'll have to call him Mr. Ophiuchus.]
how do I break it to my Mom that she's now an "O'PhooeyCuss??"
[Tell her it's a Zodiac moment.]
What happened to the missing ten days in September?
[If you were born September 7-15, you're SOL--which is not a reference to the Sun, by the way.]
Oh no, I'm not alive.
People love to talk about themselves; if all else fails, a discussion of star signs will prompt social intercourse. . . .
'I'm a Virgo. . . .'
[Not for long, once social intercourse has been prompted.]
Heres my sign . . .
[I believe you!]
I am a VIRGO now. damn what to do?
[This is a tipping point, DUmmie nadinbrzezinksi. Go get tipped.]
I was a Virgo now I'm a Leo. gosh will my personality have to undergo a change. . . .
[Don't worry, you'll still be the same obnoxious you.]
I'm a fish still swimming with the tide. . . .
[Carpal Tidal Syndrome.]
Gravity from the moon pulled the earth off it's normal axis, somewhat, and threw the zodiac(constellation) off by a month.
[The moonbats are deeply disturbed.]
I read this years ago, that it would happen as we approach 2012.
[The Democrats' horoscope for November 6, 2012: Aries the Ram will converge with Uranus.]
I was always a Taurus on the cusp with Aries so moving me firmly into Aries wouldn't be that big a deal.
[Bill Clinton would like to move firmly into Virgo, but that WOULD be a big deal now at his age.]
If you considered yourself a Cancer under the tropical zodiac last week, you're still a Cancer. . . .
[Even though Pitt has quit smoking, he's still a Cancer.]
I am so NOT a Taurus.
[I don't know about that. I'd say you're FULL of Bull.]
So, now I'm a Capricorn after I've been an Aquarius for 39 years?
[This is the ending of the age of Aquarius.]
It's after noon somewhere in the world! That's the only sign I need!
[Let the drinking begin!]
I was born under the Stop sign!
[Now you're under this one . . .]
List of key words describing the sign of Ophiuchus . . . serpent holder . . . tax assessor, or levys taxes. . . .
[Yep, sounds like a Democrat!]
Pass with care
[That would NOT be a Democrat!]
Top FIVE? Gedouddahea.
DUncing with the Stars PING!!
These DUmmies worship the flying spagetti monster.
They are missing one sign: FUBO!
I am now a Leo.
If you weree born between Sep 6 and Sep 16 you apparently are a Zero.
Top 5 and paper towels for the keyboard! Earl Grey has sprayed.
True story: At a bar several years ago, some drunken dunce wandered up to me and asked “hey, what’s your sign?” I looked him straight in the eye and said “Stop”. My fiance tapped him on the shoulder and said “No Trespassing.”
No DUmmie astrological thread is complete without Uranus. Paging Ben Burch!
I’m an Aries, and will always be an Aries.
Their changes aren’t retroactive. lol
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha, and haha.
My horoscope said I would be Top 20
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