Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 03-26-11 (Pied Piper Pitt Smoking Relapse)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | March 26, 2011 | William Rivers Pitt and PJ-Comix

Posted on 03/26/2011 2:10:02 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

WOO! HOO! Let's all celebrate! WILLIAM RIVERS PITT has gone 100 days without smoking. I just knew you had the fortitude to pull it off, Will!

Oops!

Has anyone noticed that with all the early hoopla by Pitt about quitting cigarettes that there hasn't been a self-promoting post by him on this topic since his Day 50 THREAD, "Fifty days. No smokes." So what does that tell us? It tells us that Pitt is back to sucking down the cancerous fumes again. Let us do some math to prove my point. Pitt's "Fifty Days, No Smokes" thread was posted on Jan. 19. Add 12 days to bring us to the end of that month and that would be 62 days. Add another 28 days for the month of February and that makes it 90 days. Then 10 more days at the beginning of the following month and that would bring us to the glorious day of March 10 when the Pittster would have gone ONE HUNDRED DAYS without smoking! Hallelujah! However, did you notice that March 10 has come and long since went without a word from Pitt on that significant landmark? Knowing Pitt's propensity towards braggadocio, this can only mean that Pitt has slinked back to smoking again and just wishes everybody won't notice that he was too WEAK to beat his nicotine addiction. Well, perhaps his fellow DUmmies have forgotten Wee Willie's very public no smoking pledge but we here at the DUmmie FUnnies haven't forgotten. In fact let us review some of Pitt's self-promotional avowals of swearing off cigarettes.

Only a little over a week before Pitt's last pronouncement about being smoke free we have this bit of a self-righteous THREAD January 11, "A message for all the Quitters in the Lounge." Here are some highlights from that thread:

A message for all the Quitters in the Lounge.

[Including for Pitt who QUIT his no-smoking pledge.]

My wife is on Day Nine...our old Lounge friend Matcom is on Day Ten...and I am on Day Forty-Two...which is SIX WEEKS for those of you playing along at home (and is The Answer for all you Douglas Adams fans out there).

[I don't know about Pitt's wife or DUmmmie Matcom but we do know that Pitt quit his quitting.]

Nine days. Ten days. Forty-two days.

NO SMOKES.

[Ninety days. Ninety-one days. One hundred days. ...SMOKES!!!]

If she, he and I can do it, anyone can. Keep it up.

[Except you, Pitt. You couldn't. So be honest now and tell us what is was like to light up that first cigarette after all those weeks and suck those cancerous fumes deep into your lungs.]

Yes, it is time for Pitt to reveal to his fellow DUmmies that he just didn't have the strength of Will to really quit smoking. And an oatmeal cookie to the first DUmmie (or LFT) who dares to publicly ask Pitt how his no smoking pledge is going.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: cigarettes; dummies; nosmoking; willpitt
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-57 next last
At least Will has his family's law firm to sue the tobacco companies for not properly informing him that smoking can be hazardous to your health even though such has been stated on every pack of cigarettes since before Pitt was even born.
1 posted on 03/26/2011 2:10:04 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

IBTP


2 posted on 03/26/2011 2:12:57 PM PDT by granite (This is America! This is the home of the FREE!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 03/26/2011 2:13:21 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
If she, he and I can do it, anyone can. Keep it up.

I was told to seek medical attention after 4 hours.
4 posted on 03/26/2011 2:19:39 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

5 posted on 03/26/2011 2:24:28 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Panting Puffer Pitt.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I enjoyed a cigar a week ago. My bad. But, it was soooooo good...


6 posted on 03/26/2011 2:27:46 PM PDT by bcsco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

So we don’t really know if he’s back to smoking again or not, right? Am I missing something?


7 posted on 03/26/2011 2:27:57 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

The problem for Pitt is that having made his very PUBLIC PLEDGE about quitting smoking, he is now condemned to getting his smokes in private. At least before he could mug for the camera while sucking down his coffin nails. Now he has to pull an Obama and do it entirely in secret for fear of public embarrassment that he was TOO WEAK to beat the nicotine monkey.


8 posted on 03/26/2011 2:28:33 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Roscoe Karns
So we don’t really know if he’s back to smoking again or not, right? Am I missing something?

Believe me, if Will had really quit smoking he would have CROWED about reaching that 100 day mark. He was bragging bigtime on other days including the 50 day mark and then he went completely SILENT on the subject. What does that tell you?

9 posted on 03/26/2011 2:32:39 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: bcsco

I quit cigars back in November. Still get the urge, but I haven;t succumbed. I just wasn’t able to regulate it. I either smoke too much or don’t smoke at all.


10 posted on 03/26/2011 2:39:30 PM PDT by Huck (Fools make feasts and wise men eat them - Poor Richard)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
PJ casts the bait into the water, waiting to see if the PITT, takes the bait, boldly comes out and says, "I did quit! It's now day, uhhh, 100 or so."

Verifying that he does read DUmmie FUnnies.

11 posted on 03/26/2011 2:41:54 PM PDT by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Here ya go, Pitt:


12 posted on 03/26/2011 2:44:05 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Panting Puffer Pitt.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix; Charles Henrickson

Maybe he’s giving up giving up smoking for Lent?


13 posted on 03/26/2011 2:45:34 PM PDT by mikrofon (Or just giving up giving up Kents?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

14 posted on 03/26/2011 2:46:23 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Panting Puffer Pitt.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Huck

Well, I shouldn’t be smoking at all, but I have a couple a year. I also enjoy a pipe at times, but again, not very frequently. It’s usually on weekends when I can sit outside in the yard, enjoy a cigar or pipe, and a good bourbon. And that precludes two-thirds of the living here in northern Illinois...

I had a CAO Brazilia. Enjoyable. I usually smoke Montecristo’s or Ashtons, but this was the best available at the liquor store so...


15 posted on 03/26/2011 2:46:32 PM PDT by bcsco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

Chesterfields were pretty potent eh? I had a cousin who used to smoke unfiltered camels (my parents were older when I was born so my cousins were all much older than me. Most are gone now).


16 posted on 03/26/2011 2:48:17 PM PDT by Mmogamer (I refudiate the lamestream media, leftists and their prevaricutions.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: mikrofon
Maybe he’s giving up giving up smoking for Lent?

Nah, it's more likely he lent his lighter to someone and never got it back...

17 posted on 03/26/2011 2:48:32 PM PDT by bcsco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: bcsco

I think you’re on to something. This “cold turkey” and “count the days I’ve been good” thing is just too extreme.

Also, the idea of “forbidden fruit” and something not being “allowed” has the seeds of failure built right in.

The extreme moderation you practice seems sensible to me.


18 posted on 03/26/2011 2:53:46 PM PDT by Twinkie (WHERE ARE OBAMA'S RECORDS? ALL of them.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
And an oatmeal cookie to the first DUmmie (or LFT). . . .

Or LSMFT.


19 posted on 03/26/2011 2:56:59 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Panting Puffer Pitt.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Doomonyou
PJ casts the bait into the water, waiting to see if the PITT, takes the bait...

Smoking him out.

20 posted on 03/26/2011 2:57:43 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

cough cough! hack hack! or rather ack ack!

21 posted on 03/26/2011 2:59:48 PM PDT by woofie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I am no fan of Democratic Underground but I find it hard to rejoice that someone has apparently failed to quit smoking.

Kind of mean spirited, don’t you think? Can’t we tease them about the stupid agendas they push?

I know, it’s the hypocrisy that’s funny, but seriously, it’s hard to quit smoking.

I never smoked, for the record, just feel for those trying to beat it.


22 posted on 03/26/2011 3:00:24 PM PDT by Persevero (Homeschooling for Excellence since 1992)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

One of the reasons I hated Mary J is that it tasted Like A Chesterfield.


23 posted on 03/26/2011 3:00:36 PM PDT by Little Bill (Harry Browne is a Poofter.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Persevero
I am no fan of Democratic Underground but I find it hard to rejoice that someone has apparently failed to quit smoking.

Except that Pitt was very PUBLICLY doing some major bragging about supposedly quitting. If he had just gone ahead and quit like a NORMAL person he wouldn't be the subject of this humor.

24 posted on 03/26/2011 3:03:07 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Twinkie

This isn’t a ‘cold turkey’ thing with me. I have health issues. But at my age (68) and history, they’re not going away, and a very occasional cigar or pipe will not be much of an influence. My wife went cold turkey with the patch backin ‘96. Hasn’t smoked since, so it works. It’s up to the individual and how much determination they bring to the table. BTW, my wife is fine with my situation.

The fact I started smoking after 12 years of abstinence has nothing to do with determination. It has to do with my health, the fact I could ‘go’ any day, so I’m going to enjoy simple pleasures, but on a very refined and manageable schedule. Works for me...


25 posted on 03/26/2011 3:04:10 PM PDT by bcsco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Obama sneaks smokes form John Boehner on the back 9.


26 posted on 03/26/2011 3:04:59 PM PDT by mylife (OPINIONS ~ $1.00 HALFBAKED ~ 50c)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Yes, I know, it’s the hypocrisy.

Whatever, I still feel for him.


27 posted on 03/26/2011 3:05:54 PM PDT by Persevero (Homeschooling for Excellence since 1992)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Persevero

Maybe Pitt should quit PRIVATELY the next time. This time was showboating bigtime and it bit him on the rear end.


28 posted on 03/26/2011 3:08:39 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
and then he went completely SILENT on the subject.

Just like he has been SEDITIOUSLY SILENT on the subject of Obomber's War on Libya! HIDING HYPOCRITE PITT! But we'll smoke him out!

29 posted on 03/26/2011 3:15:34 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Panting Puffer Pitt.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Mmogamer
Chesterfields were pretty potent eh?

Couldn't hold a candle to these puppies.

Someone dared me to buy a pack and they set my eyes on fire.

30 posted on 03/26/2011 3:17:30 PM PDT by eddie willers
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

Will has also been totally SILENT about a certain fraud perpetrated on May 12, 2006. Come to think of it, the words “Jason Leopold” have never been typed in any post of his for the past 5 years.


31 posted on 03/26/2011 3:23:57 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I remember something about if you remember how long or when you quit, you will likely go back and light up again. I don’t remember when I did, but I was smoking about 1 pack per week. I lit up an old dry one, and that did it for me.


32 posted on 03/26/2011 3:30:53 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (TX and MI - When the going gets tough, the dims run and hide.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

Well, something is smoking there but it ain’t tobacco.


33 posted on 03/26/2011 4:10:24 PM PDT by arrogantsob
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: Arrowhead1952

I remember but not to the exact day or month. 12 years- I was a less than 1/2 a pack a day smoker.


34 posted on 03/26/2011 4:20:12 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Roscoe Karns

I remember my decision to quit was after daughter dear was born. My wife decided I could not smoke around the baby and I could not smoke at work, EXCEPT during breaks. I forgot to get a new pack for the weekend, and lit one of the stale and dry ciggies. That was the last time I had one in my mouth.


35 posted on 03/26/2011 6:37:59 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (TX and MI - When the going gets tough, the dims run and hide.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: Arrowhead1952

It really is a silly habbit.


36 posted on 03/26/2011 6:40:37 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I’m sorry but I figured out long ago that people who announce how many days it has been usually do not make it further than a month or two.It makes much mre sense to keep it to yourself until you hit the year mark and then announce it in years.LIke I quit in Jan. 1987 and have never had another one since,cold turkey and all.


37 posted on 03/26/2011 6:41:03 PM PDT by chris_bdba
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Arrowhead1952

or habit..


38 posted on 03/26/2011 6:41:26 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

I hope you don’t mind but I grabbed your images.I just love old advertisments and tend to print them on silk and sue them in crazy quilting.These both are real gems! I also collect the real thing but now that everyone else has discovered Empheria they are getting very expensive to find so making my own is much cheaper.


39 posted on 03/26/2011 6:45:48 PM PDT by chris_bdba
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Roscoe Karns

I remember the month and year because I wrote it down otherwise....


40 posted on 03/26/2011 6:50:02 PM PDT by chris_bdba
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: chris_bdba

sue=use


41 posted on 03/26/2011 6:50:50 PM PDT by chris_bdba
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

You know way too much about that irrelevant website.


42 posted on 03/26/2011 7:24:17 PM PDT by MNnice
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I’m sorry to read when anybody who wants to quit has set-backs in quitting this horribly addictive habit. Even DUmmies.


43 posted on 03/26/2011 8:25:35 PM PDT by prairiebreeze ("We need to be in it to win it, and if there's doubt we need to get out". -- Palin on Libya.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mmogamer
*** I had a cousin who used to smoke unfiltered camels ***

I still do. And I started in 1961.

[The Dr says smoking is the least of my problems.]

44 posted on 03/27/2011 5:08:31 AM PDT by Condor51 (Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Congressman. But I repeat myself. [Mark Twain])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Condor51
"I still do. And I started in 1961.

OMG LOL! Same here, same year!

I've cut down to two packs a day though... :)

45 posted on 03/27/2011 8:38:22 AM PDT by JDoutrider
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: JDoutrider
***OMG LOL! Same here, same year! I've cut down to two packs a day though... :) ***

Yeah. back then 'us kids' starting smoking at an early age. And a LOT of us are still here (not that smoking is 'good').

And I only go through about 1½ packs a day.
But a lot of that is due to me letting them burn away in the ashtray while I'm posting on FR :-)

[That I have to stop doing. BIG waste of money now.]

46 posted on 03/27/2011 9:21:26 AM PDT by Condor51 (Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Congressman. But I repeat myself. [Mark Twain])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: bcsco

Right. Moderation is the key in life in all things. - Up until a year and a half ago, I had terrible, horrible high blood pressure for several years. - I started taking a Sabbath day of complete REST every week, cast all my cares on the Lord as best I could, changed my diet to less beef and more fish and chicken, take a few supplements. That and prayer did it. - Up until then, my BP would get up to 265/210. Now it runs 115/65. I take very little BP drugs & think I could probably go without any because 115/65 seems to have me going in slo-mo a lot.


47 posted on 03/27/2011 9:54:15 AM PDT by Twinkie (WHERE ARE OBAMA'S RECORDS? ALL of them.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: eddie willers
I wonder how those compare to these:

Gauloises

48 posted on 03/27/2011 10:09:37 AM PDT by Yardstick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: Twinkie; Charles Henrickson; Cletus.D.Yokel; PJ-Comix

When I had my bi-pass surgery back in ‘85, I was told I had to completely change my lifestyle. I was put on the Pritikin diet, exercised almost daily, trimmed down and felt good. The following Summer we moved from Illinois to Salt Lake for business reasons. During our four years there I skied, hiked, camped, fished, and had a membership at a health club which I attended every other day.

We returned to Illinois the late Summer of ‘90, and I’d just contracted Pneumonia shortly before the return. On visiting my old cardiologist here in Illinois on our return I found all my arteries that had been operated on were either closed up or near closed again. So much for the healthy lifestyle. I was told my body couldn’t deal with bad cholesterol well, and that further invasive methods would be a waste of time. I should take my medications and live as long as I could.

Well, I’m still on numerous meds, but have learned what I can and cannot do, and am at peace with that. And one thing I’ve learned is, as you say, moderation counts.

Glad to hear you’re able to maintain your blood pressure with little medication. That’s a big thing, and as long as you don’t have further issues such as cholesterol or triglyceride problems, count yourself fortunate.


49 posted on 03/27/2011 10:54:40 AM PDT by bcsco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: bcsco
I was told my body couldn’t deal with bad cholesterol well, and that further invasive methods would be a waste of time.

Take Omega 3 fish oil pills. I pop several of them a day and I have very low cholesterol even though I eat a lot of beef. In fact, this week I am planning to stock up with a 3 to 4 month supply of FREE fish oil pills (garlic pills too).

And now to pop a couple more Omega 3 fish oil pills.

Remember, until eskimos changed their diets to government supplied food, they had NO heart problems due to their diet rich in Omega 3 fish oil. That's how scientists found out about Omega 3 fish oil. By studying eskimos.

50 posted on 03/27/2011 12:09:01 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-57 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson