The myth of the "natural man" and his environment is a lie. Men hate the outdoors.
Posted on 07/08/2012 4:05:29 PM PDT by JoanVarga
Thank God for air conditioning. I mean it. I'm not being casual about Whom to thank. I thank the everlasting Creator who imparted his universal wisdom into a series of inventions and ideas until a misguided therapy for malaria gave us the means to create ice. God bless! And then some Luddite, glacier-chopping Ice King quashed John Gorrie's idea in order to save his own fortunes, and we sweated for 50 more years. I hope Hell's thermostat got an upgrade of 50,000 extra degrees just for Mr. Tudor's arrival.
Air Conditioning is a miracle of civilization but it's not a new, modern desire. Hot, sweaty people have been seeking relief for ages. Cool, dry beds to sleep on are not to be dismissed lightly. It's why all children should be forced to go camping in summer. Make 'em appreciate civilization, abhor primitive living, and grow up to be fine young Capitalists like Carrier.
The myth of the "natural man" and his environment is a lie. Men hate the outdoors.
Air Conditioning should be a Religion. A violent one, if its existence becomes threatened. We all worship at its altar anyway; we moan with breathless thrill upon entering any room to escape the soul-sucking heat. "Ahhhhhh......" we intone, like monks in an ecstatic trance. And we are saved.
The tenets of our faith are found in the longer working hours and productivity that Air Conditioning provides. Capitalism is our outreach ministry. Come to AC all you who are sweaty and would find dry, cool pillows on which to rest, and AC will give you sleep. Blessed, restful sleep without the sheets sticking to you.
True story: a friend of mine who was a missionary in the Tamil region of India told of the Fiery Star season there. She would rinse and wring her sheets before going to bed, just to be cool enough to fall asleep. Once, she recalled, she sprang out of bed in the middle of the night, thinking the house was on fire, only to find that no, it was just two a.m. and hot. That right there tells you that heat is the devil's plaything. To conquer it is a work of all that is Good and Right in the world. People, my friend's story is not from so many years ago. Her son was amazed at the first time he experienced ice.
Al Gore has built his religion on the side of all that is evil and wrong and hot. He is apostate and must be shunned. SHUN the unbeliver! Shunnnn! Let Air Conditioning arise and its enemies be scattered!
We cannot let the political Luddites terrorize us with tales of Global Warming. Our sister in the faith, The Church of Blessed Condenser of the Saturday Saints can counter with her own tales of reduced violence on long summer nights while everyone is indoors worshiping and staying out of trouble; which argument also supports video games and hip-hop apps. Everyone's inside, keeping to themselves, and being creative instead of destructive. We have our own angelic hosts riffin' the turntable mixers, or laying down righteous rhythms in the heavenly realms of cooled basements and chillin' nightclubs.
Before Air Conditioning we all looked just like this.
Before AC, nobody looked this good.
Yes, we have many forms of worship. In our garments of praise we can wear most anything in our over-cooled places of business and still look as fresh and beautiful as our Maker intended. With every hair in place and unwrinkled adornments we are silent witnesses to our faith. We have no need of showy words or flashy techniques. We simply have a sure foundation of priestly engineers and their electrician acolytes who assist them at the altar of alleviation. The chimes of whirring motors, the cool, moving air of sweet oblations, the murmuring praises for answered prayer as worshipers arrive inside. This is our holy communion. Let no man despise what God has made.
Can I get an AMEN?
Sorry for the multiple posts.
Some do like it hot. Never the twain shall meet, I suppose.
What I meant to say is that we need a dry cool place for the Yankees (especially Ohioans) to feel at ease while we ply them with mojitos before we feed 'em to the gators.
ROTFL
Reads like a description of my house!
The Second Law of Thermodynamics says that it is easier to heat something up than it is to cool something down.
Somebody came up with a simple, do-it-yourself air conditioner, for when you have electricity, but no a/c.
You need a waterproof garbage can, a fish tank water pump, some plastic tubing and some copper tubing, small nylon or plastic tie downs, an electric fan and a lot of ice.
You fill the garbage can with water and ice, with the fish tank water pump pumping the ice water into half of the plastic tubing. In front of the fan you have tied down a spiral of copper tubing, with plastic tubes on either end.
And the other plastic tube goes back to the garbage can.
With the pump pumping and the fan on, it cools down the air a lot.
Here is a simple version:
http://www.instructables.com/id/Homemade-air-conditioner/
I could give a fig for man’s laws! Our blessed church laws state that excessive heat is the devil’s own barbed, uh, well, it’s evil!
That sounds like the kind of work that would make you sweat. Best to ignore the heat and have a cold beer.
Is this how L. Ron Hubbard got started?
I could use some money. . .
Sister Joan, I think he started by writing science fiction. Then he went on to re-lable and market his fiction as a religion that required a lot of money to participate in. And enough fools bought into his fabrication.
However, yours is a legitimate faith, unlike Hubbard's. I suppose you could make some money off of it. Probably need some celebrities though to help you promote it. I hear that Katie Holmes is no longer into Scientology. Maybe she will be open to joining the First Church of the Blessed Evaporator.
I stand corrected.
Not really. I mis-read what you posted. Let the record so state that ours is not an infallible leadership, but subject to the wise counsel of the converted.
Sounds good!
The heat goes on. Another scorcher in the South. So glad I work inside with a bunch of engineers!
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