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DUmmie FUnnies 11-22-12 (Nadin reports: WALMART WORKERS TO WALK OUT ON BLACK FRIDAY)
November 22, 2012 | DUmmie nadinbrzezinski, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 11/22/2012 7:55:02 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

'Twas the night before Friday, when all through the DUmp,
Just one DUmmie was sniffing, she was getting a jump.
A story was breaking! 'Twas time to prepare--
Yes, Nadin Brzezinski soon would be there!

The DUmmies, all smug in their Bolshevik Red,
Were boring me stiff till I noticed this THREAD:
"On Friday, Black Friday," Nads exclaimed with a shout,
"The workers of Walmart all will walk out!"

Nadin, Girl Reporter, was posting this crap,
So I knew that a DUFU just fell in my lap.
You know she'll be there for a story this big
With press pass and notebook and good camera rig.

But not just reporter--she wears many a hat--
As activist too, she'll be there for that:
"On, Greeter! On, Checker! On, Stocker of Shelves!
On strike you must go! Show you're not happy elves!"

Of course, when Nadin posts a thread on DU,
Her fanboys, those bullies, will soon show up too.
But that makes for chuckles and iggy-list cheer,
And that's how Nadin won Top DUmmie last year.

So let us proceed, without further ado,
To hear from Nadin and the DUmmieland crew.
In Bolshevik Red there will rise such a racket,
While Henrickson's stuff you will see in a [bracket]:

WORKERS TO STAGE WALK OUTS AT WALMART STORES ON BLACK FRIDAY

[AND NADIN BRZEZINSKI WILL BE THERE!]

By Nadin Abbott

[Faster than a speeding trend. . . . More powerful than a Fukushima. . . . Able to cross the Rubicon in a single bound. . . . "Look, up in the sky!" "It's a journalist!" "It's an activist!" "It's SUPPERDUPERWOMAN!" . . . Yes, it's Supperduperwoman, strange visitor from . . . Poland, or Israel, or Mexico, or maybe a fallout shelter in San Diego . . . well, she's strange, we know that . . . who came to DUmmieland with powers and abilities far beyond those of normal DUmmies; and who, disguised as "Nadin Abbot," unpaid "reporter" for an insignificant online rag, fights a never-ending battle for . . . for . . . well, she fights a never-ending battle.]

November 20, 2012 (San Diego)—Across the nation and in San Diego County, Walmart workers are poised to stage a walk out on Friday, traditionally the biggest shopping day of the year.

[Poised, I tell you! All of them, all across the nation, poised! And Nadin is poised, too, ready to cover it all!]

This Thanksgiving, Walmart workers at more than 1,000 locations are seeking a seat at the bargaining table.

[And if they all sit down at the same time, the table reach a tipping point!]

“Unless Walmart takes immediate steps to improve basic working conditions, workers throughout the company's vast operations — from factories and warehouses to retail stores — will participate in a massive walkout on Friday, November 23," states an e-mail sent by Color of Change.

[Nadin's source, "Color of Change," is a race-hustling little organization that hasn't been able to accomplish very much in its brief history. So how "massive" the walkout will be remains to be seen. But Nadin makes it sound like this thing will bring Walmart to its knees!]

The reasons are many, but lifting workers out of poverty is a key factor.

[So walking out, and losing your job, and losing it to someone who WANTS to work at Walmart--this will lift you out of poverty??]

[nadinbrzezinski the DUmmie then posts a link to Nadin Abbott the reporter's article. Then she closes her OP by saying . . .]

Nothing more to say...

[Oh, Nadin, don't tease us! I'm sure you will have more to say! You always do. But first, let's get a reaction from your loyal readers . . .]

Wow. That would be MAJOR. A new dawn is upon us.

[I think someone is yanking Nadin's chain. You're lucky Nadin did not detect your sarcasm, pal, or you'd be on the iggy list for sure!]

I will be there, With camera, note pad, press credentials, recorder, and parking off the property. If this goes the way...it will be historic.

[If Nadin is there, it will be hysteric!]

Wouldn't that be a blast if that went across the nation.

[Wouldn't that be a bust if it didn't. Nadin responds . . .]

1000 locations is across the nation.

[A thousand points of light to no impact.]

By the time I leave to cover the strike special on aisle two, it will be well underway. If this goes the way it could, this will be historic. Yes, prepared for violence honestly.

[Nadin is bring her nunchucks. I don't know if you knew this, but Nadin is a master of martial arts. Or marital arts. Or something. Whatever it is, she's a master of it.]

Sadly, they will probably be fired.

[Which means that, laughably, Nadin's massive walkout story will likely be a a big bust, since most workers won't walk out.]

I will be up bright an early.

["Early," maybe, Nadin. But "bright," I'm not so sure.]

Their evil overlords will not tolerate this act of personhood.

[I, for one, welcome the Walmart overloads. High volume, low prices!]

this year I am doing Black Friday. The strike special on aisle two.

[Be careful not to get trampled by the crowds, Nadin. You're a small person to start with, and people might mistake you for Teddy Ruxpin or something.]

Even as a reporter, this is a concern.

[That people might mistake you for Teddy Ruxpin? I was thinking more like one of those troll dolls.]

Just in case, taking the zoom.

[It's a zoom out there, Nadin!]

They are right now at the NLBR to be exact. Wally World did not file the injunction on time. I need to furiously take some notes on that, for the Friday story and call corporate in the morning.

[Nadin Brzezinski is the hardest working girl reporter in show business!]

This afternoon, I stopped at Walmart on the way home from work. The cashiers all looked so scared and weary. I said, "How are you?" and my cashier said, "Fine." But it was so forced. I said, "Have a nice Thanksgiving!" and she said, "Okay. We'll all be here. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. All day. All three days." I told her, "Listen, people out there are learning about this. Public sentiment is starting to turn your way." She smiled for the first time, but then she had to rush into the next transaction. And her smile was so full of fear.

[She was probably afraid the guy behind you was going to haul off and slug you, DUmmie raging moderate, because you were holding up the line.]

I avoid Wally World. But have been covering a lo of labor stories. It's brewing, and not just Walmart.

[Nadin spots a trend.]

Some of us in the press will do the strike special, forgive me, educational picket, on Black Friday.

["Some of us in the press." Oh, Nadin! You crack me up!]

I'll have to see it to believe it.

[What? You don't believe it?? But, but, Nadin said it's going to be MASSIVE! 1000 locations! Historic! Just like that Occupy thingie! If Nadin said it, you can take it to the bank!]

For the record, I am not the only one to notice. . . .

[You mean there are OTHER reporters, trend-spotters even, who have seen this thing coming? I thought you were the only one. But if this is offically for the record, Nadin, I believe you.]

[Well, morning comes early on Black Friday, Nadin. Get some rest, drink plenty of fluids, and be there bright and--be there early, Nads. We're counting on you to keep us informed!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; nadinbrzezinski; walmart
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To: mnehring

21 posted on 11/22/2012 9:23:30 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: Charles Henrickson

So more jobs for people who actually want to work? Win/win.


22 posted on 11/22/2012 9:33:46 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet (You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I hate to break the “lady parts” of the boys and girls over at the DUmpster but I just came from my local Walmart. It was a freakin’ mad house. Not a union knuckledragger or 99% freeloader piggie in sight.


23 posted on 11/22/2012 9:38:40 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Amnesty - Obama's bailout of Mexico. Barry sticks it to America again!)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

The young lady that checked us out said “This is really exciting”. She didn’t know anything ‘bout any union knuckledraggers sleazing around. They’d probably be arrested anyway as suspicious looking child molesters or rapists.


24 posted on 11/22/2012 9:45:13 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Amnesty - Obama's bailout of Mexico. Barry sticks it to America again!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

This is a perfectly done DuFu, Charles. Sorry to hear about the blog lockout, you should be ready to strike if management doesn’t come around!!

Power to the person (Charles)!!


25 posted on 11/22/2012 11:50:04 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I said, "How are you?" and my cashier said, "Fine."

So, in an attempt to promote the strike, the idiot went inside and kept an employee hostage at the register by actually purchasing something? Kinda defeats the purpose - no?

26 posted on 11/23/2012 4:22:17 AM PST by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
“Unless Walmart takes immediate steps to improve basic working conditions, workers throughout the company's vast operations — from factories and warehouses to retail stores — will participate in a massive walkout on Friday, November 23," states an e-mail sent by Color of Change.

Nadin, stick this up your ....

27 posted on 11/23/2012 4:45:47 AM PST by Condor51 (Si vis pacem, para bellum.)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

My sister has worked at Walmart for nearly 20 years and she was looking forward to the extra hours.

I personally prefer Meijer stores and there are two of those in town competing with 1 Walmart so I wouldn’t expect any real inconvenience even if they did strike at Wally World.


28 posted on 11/23/2012 4:48:01 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix

If you can interrupt your pre-Black Friday festivities (previously known, quaintly, as “Thanksgiving”) to post a DUFU, the least I can do is thank you!

By way of cc, I assume PJ was unavailable due to the coupasm he must be having?


29 posted on 11/23/2012 4:53:41 AM PST by freedumb2003 (Here comes bama claus here comes bama claus left down bama claus lane!)
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To: mnehring

AAAHHHH MY EYES!!!


30 posted on 11/23/2012 5:14:26 AM PST by Future Snake Eater (CrossFit.com)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Just in case, taking the zoom.
Okay Nadin. That makes no sense. What kind of 'zoom'?
  1. Is your camera a film SLR?
  2. If so how long of a 'zoom' will you be taking?
  3. A 'short' zoom, to say.. 135mm?
  4. Or a 'long' zoom, to oh ... 300mm
  5. If you're camera is a digital SLR (DSLR) it comes standard with a 'zoom'.
  6. A 'short' zoom but a zoom none the less.
  7. Annnnd dearie most DSLRs come with a Two ZOOM Lens Option, one 'short zoom' and one 'long zoom', to 200mm - which any Ace Cub Reporter /s would have in their bag.

    So fess up Nadin, what's in your Camera Bag.
    (btw, fixed focal length lenses are now optional. not like the 'olden days' when a 50mm f1.4 was your 'normal lens', 35mm was your wide angle, 90mm was for portraits, and 135mm started the telephoto lens group)

Not that I know anything about that Photography stuff. Only been taking photos since 1955. Oh and I went to one of those photography school thingys too, but I don't like to brag about it. Except when I run into idiots.

31 posted on 11/23/2012 5:17:55 AM PST by Condor51 (Si vis pacem, para bellum.)
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To: rockrr
“We’re trying to change the world” my azz!

Really, the majority of liberals ARE trying to change the world, (for the worst) while truly coalescing around good intentions. The problem is their worldview is not based on reality, it's utopian fantasy. They are internally upset and angry their worldview will NEVER match reality, so they have to conjure up a "cause" and do what they perceive is "good" collectively so they can satisfy their self-worth premonition!

I listened to an hour's conversation yesterday which was pure unadulterated liberal group mind think and all of them were for this stupid strike based on hating Walmart for being smart enough to use the cheapest labor they can find. Oh, and evil capitalism! These people are very nice, very smart, very polite, but very, very unwise. This is why Obama is president, because these people are all simple minded.

32 posted on 11/23/2012 5:46:13 AM PST by sirchtruth (Freedom is not free.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Check your FReepMail.


33 posted on 11/23/2012 5:50:47 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Sorry about that. I actually forgot my own password when prompted so I changed it.


34 posted on 11/23/2012 5:53:34 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson
oh Nadine, what a card!

I still remember when you claimed San Diego Macy's turned their dressing room tv's off FNC because you asked them to change it. You had some dramatic story about the staff being grateful for your help.

Bwahahaha! I went to all the area Macy's and their tv's near the dressing rooms play only recorded music things, not regular tv programming!

You silly reporter-ette!

I'll bet you find at least 12 Walmart workers that strike.....

35 posted on 11/23/2012 6:07:32 AM PST by CAluvdubya (We're doomed....)
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To: Condor51
I'm taking the zoom

I think she meant 'shroom not zoom. Nadine can't type well when she's high like that :D

36 posted on 11/23/2012 6:18:10 AM PST by CAluvdubya (We're doomed....)
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To: cripplecreek

***My sister has worked at Walmart for nearly 20 years and she was looking forward to the extra hours.****

Smart woman! I worked in various industries and considered it great to work all the overtime I could get!

My dad said you could live OK with regular time,but you could live WELL with overtime!

For the last 31 years I worked I worked almost every holiday I could get, and if anyone wanted off those days I volunteered to work them. The paychecks were GREAT!

My worthless brother-in-law (If you know him he probably owes you money) moaned about how I could not be there to listen to him talk non stop about himself each holiday, but he had not worked since 1981 when he refused (he said)to pay taxes to Reagan! He has a real bad allergy to work.


37 posted on 11/23/2012 7:56:37 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar (The parasites now outnumber the producers.)
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To: PJ-Comix; All
DUmmie FUnnies blogspot now up. It wasn't earlier.
38 posted on 11/23/2012 8:03:01 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: Charles Henrickson

If the cashier actually said that to me, I would have responded with “Count your blessings, honey. Over 800,000 people filed for first time unemployment claims in the past two weeks, and I’ll bet they could all learn to run a cash register.”


39 posted on 11/23/2012 8:07:28 AM PST by Not A Snowbird (2 Corinthians 4:8)
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

When I was in the factory I would work over the 2 week Christmas Vacation with the maintenance crew if I could. We usually only worked 9 days of it and I made better than $3000 for doing it. Nearly $2000 of that just for Christmas eve and Christmas day.

It was a pretty good chunk of change over my usual $500 average weekly paycheck.


40 posted on 11/23/2012 8:40:26 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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