Posted on 12/01/2012 2:17:23 PM PST by John Semmens
A clerk working in a Virginia AutoZone store thwarted an armed robber who is believed to have committed more than 30 hold-ups in retail establishments throughout the state. Bringing the thief to justice, however, has cost that clerk, Devin McClean, his job. Though the store manager credits McClean with saving his life, the clerk ran afoul of AutoZone's “zero tolerance” policy on guns in its stores.
AutoZone spokesman Curt Chretin explained that “It's a matter of corporate policy that the company feels very strongly about. Zero tolerance is simple and efficient. Rather than having corporate time and energy tied up trying to weigh the specifics of each incident on a case-by-case basis it is easier just to terminate anyone who violates the policy.”
“Consider that an attempt to evaluate a situation like this would entail numerous hours of effort gathering evidence, interviewing participants, and discussing options by high-ranking officers of the company. I think you can see that it would be uneconomical,” Chretin explained. “Why should the firm make such an investment to save the job of one minimum wage clerk when hiring a replacement is so cheap and easy?”
Chretin defended the zero tolerance policy as fair “because it applies equally to all employees and customers. I mean, it's not like we're saying it is okay for a robber to carry a gun into one of our stores. In fact, if he should somehow be apprehended it is also our company policy to permit any of our employees to take vacation leave to testify at any legal proceedings that may occur as a result of a robbery.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/123642-2012-11-30-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-december-2-2012.htm
Though the store manager credits McClean with saving his life, the clerk ran afoul of AutoZone’s “zero tolerance” policy on guns in its stores.
Now, lets just say I’m a criminal. When I read that, where do you think I’m gonna be on my next robbery? Does this AutoZone no tolerance policy extend to me? I don’t think so...SUCKER.
Chretin is a cretin. I can’t imagine firing an employee who intercepted a criminal in the act of theft, much less disparaging the same clerk as a ‘minimum wage clerk.’
In fact, if he should somehow be apprehended it is also our company policy to permit any of our employees to take vacation leave to testify at any legal proceedings that may occur as a result of a robbery.”
“....take vacation leave...”. Real classy organization to work or die for!
Another good one John.
The employee needs to return the favor with a multimillion dollar lawsuit for the company having failed to take the necessary precautions to protect the employee from the threat to his life in the robbery, and having failed him they also fired him for protecting his own life. $25 million ought to solve the problem.
Not much satire actually.
Yes, it is simple; it is to simple.
Let me be clear about what I have just learned. When, perhaps I should say, if, I shop in an "AutoZone" store I am virtually guaranteed that no one working at AutoZone has any means or inclination to protect customers.
Just for pondering a bit I wonder how it would look if AutoZone’s most serious competitor were to hire the young man in question.
Yes! I would hire him and welcome his concealed carry. “
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