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DUmmie FUnnies 12-07-12 (DUmmies cry: "Tax the churches!")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 7, 2012 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 12/07/2012 11:19:39 AM PST by Charles Henrickson

The DUmmies LOVE taxes! They just love them! Tax, tax, tax, tax, tax, tax, TAX!!! More taxes, higher taxes, more, more, more! As long as the DUmmies themselves don't have to pay them. But tax the other guy? Sure! Tax 'em out the wazoo!

Where to find more food to feed the federal Leviathan? Big Government has a Big Appetite. Sandra Fluke's pills don't come cheap, you know. So where to look? Corporations, of course. Rich people, of course. They're all evil. (Well, all of them except for the deep-pocket Democrat donors, I guess.)

Let's see, whom haven't we taxed yet? Hey, I've got it! Non-profit organizations! No, wait, not ALL non-profit organizations. Just . . . just the churches. Yeah, that's it! TAX THE F***ING CHURCHES!!!

You see, that would exempt the DUmmies, since they don't go to church. They HATE churches. They hate Christianity, above all things. The DUmmies are the advance guard of the Democrats' War on Religion. And so, displaying their unique sense of love and tolerance, the DUmmies turn their wrath once again toward Christian churches here in this THREAD, "Does anyone else think it's time to tax the churches?"

So let us now watch the paganized progs take aim at the church as a new target to tax, in Bolshevik Bullseye Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, one who would be added to the growing ranks of the Obama Unemployed if the government were to tax churches, is in the overtaxed [brackets]:

Does anyone else think it's time to tax the churches?

[Someone new to tax? And they're Christians? Sweet! The DUmmies will be all over this like vampires looking at fresh necks.]

Without a doubt. Absolutely!!

[No thinking required!! Automatic yes! You said "tax," which I love, and "churches," which I hate. No-brainer!]

Absolutely!!!!

[With even more exclamation marks!!!!]

Especially Christian churches.

[Yes! In fact, ONLY Christian churches! We hates them!!!]

Our government is going broke - it's way past time to end the free ride.

[Or--here's a novel thought--maybe the government could cut back on their spending a wee bit. WHOA! I know. Shocking.]

Long past time. Tax them like the businesses they are.

[Charge 'em back-taxes, too. Retroactive. 200+ years' worth. That'll show 'em.]

Do you want to tax all non-profit organizations, or just religious ones?

[Um, um . . . ooh, that's right. They're non-profit organizations, aren't they? And, and . . . to be fair. . . . Well, my answer is no, not all non-profits, just the religious ones. And really, just the Christian religious non-profit organizations. We hates them.]

I do not see churches as non-profit organizations. . . .

[Even though they ARE non-profit organizations, I don't SEE them as that, and my view is what counts.]

Why is your question even relevant to this debate? No one said tax non-profits.

[Just churches. Because churches are bad. The non-profits we LIKE--no, don't tax them. In fact, tax the churches, and give the money to the non-profits we like, like, the Sandra Fluke Planned Barrenhood Foundation (SFPBF).]

clearly, there are some non-profits that really ought to be taxed, like the Komen Foundation and some of the supposedly non-profits which were really superPACs.

[Oh oh! Did you just say something against the Komen Foundation?? That's SEXIST! Go put a pink ribbon on your head and sit in the corner! You're in time-out, mister!]

maybe exempt them up to a certain size. This might have the welcomed effect of dampening mega-churches.

[Considering how sappy most mega-churches are--they tend to be non-prophet organizations--you almost persuade me. Almost.]

They have a lot of input in politics influencing the voter to vote for certain candidates and pass laws that agree with their theology. This violates separation of church and state, so if they want to play, they need to pay.

if they want to be political they should lose their tax exempt status. Politics should not be spoken from the pulpit. . . .

[You mean like the black churches that have Democrat candidates speak from their pulpits? Like Jeremiah Wright's church? They don't preach religion, they preach politics. Tax them? Put them out of business? OK, I guess we'll have to specify: Only WHITE churches, only Christian churches, and only those where the majority of members are conservative.]

as it is, taxes fall most heavily on the poor and those with no voice.

[Really? REALLY?? Are you referring to the huge number of voters under a certain income who don't pay any taxes at all?? And yet they get to vote, and put an oaf like Obama back in office??]

Long overdue! I would love to tax them into oblivion.

[Diogenes, call off your search. I have found an honest DUmmie.]

You can't pick and choose among non-profits. They all have to be taxed or none of them. Taxing non-profits would destroy most of them. Some of the real big ones would survive but most wouldn't so that is why there would be no political will to do this. Also churches would argue (I think successfully) that it would be a violation of the First Amendment. The power to tax is the power to destroy and that would violate the free exercise clause of the First amendment.

[And WE can call off OUR search for a Kewpie Doll winner! It is none other than DUmmie former9thward, for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity. Congratulations!]

What profit do churches have? Most churches I know use their entire budget towards salaries, building or charitable efforts.

[Well, yeah. But, but . . . TAX THEM ANYWAY! They're CHURCHES, for Gaia's sake, and we HATE churches!]

Their land and buildings should be taxed. And their businesses.

[And their photocopiers. And their pew cushions. Whatever we can find to tax. Oh, and their potluck dinners. Especially those jello salads with the carrots in them. Tax those into oblivion. Please.]

So the same should happen to all non-profits, right? Otherwise the churches are being specifically targeted, which kind of goes against that Constitution thingy.

[Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

Stop it!!! Facts are really annoying to someone on an illogical rant against their personal boogeyman!

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

What you are proposing is discrimination against, and in reality elimination of, small churches, synagogues, and mosques in favor of the mega-facility that you seem to think (wrongly) dominates the religious landscape in the US. I am surprised that anyone would favor a concentration of unfettered political power into a handful of super-sized churches.

[The LFTs are coming out of the woodwork.]

Since the republicans think that the churches/religion should take care of people instead of the government, then the churches should be required to serve the poor.

[Fine. We would love to do that. Charity SHOULD be done by private organizations, churches, family, friends, etc., and not by the government. However, first, you would have to stop the government spending on social programs and give the revenue back to the taxpayers, so we would have the money to give toward charitable works.]

Churches benefit from the community.

[Roads and bridges, right? Jesus: "I will build my church." Obama: "You didn't build that!"]

We should - especially now - when the churchs have gotten their foot in the door by bitching about contraception and women's healty rights.

[Correction: We are "bitching" (ironic use of the term) about the government forcing us to pay for things that go against our religious beliefs, like abortifacients for Sandra Fluke.]

Absolutely .. Yes, Yes..and yes!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

[Sandra is getting excited!]

burn them down. . . .

[That's a STUPID idea! How could you tax them then?]

churches are sewers of hate.

[Feel the irony!]

Most preachers make little to no money. . . .

[Tell me about it.]

I know alot of priests who drive Beamers. . . .

[I know a lot of pastors who drive beat-up old used cars with lots of mileage on them. Indeed, I know one personally.]

Unite! and Join me a New Movement to Tax all religious church property! . . . churches, schools, diocesan offices, bishops residences, clergy residences, cemeteries, hospitals, universities, retreat facilities, youth camps, megachurches, store front churches, convents, seminaries and all the companies who supply products to those churches including wine, hosts and religious items.

[How about those little plastic individual cups? Most pastors I know wish we could get rid of them. Maybe I'd go along with taxing those.]

Yes Please.

F*** ya!

Time to start a movement.

[I see Sandra, and she has started a movement . . .]

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

[Calm down, Sandy!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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To: CSM; Cletus.D.Yokel
I know that they can voluntarily, and legally, abstain from paying SSIP payroll taxes. I hope every Pastor does abstain from the SSIP tax!

We were told about this exemption before we graduated from seminary. However, to abstain from paying the Social Security tax, you would have to do so on specificaly religious grounds. While I am opposed to the Social Security program and wish it had never come into existence, my objection is based on constitutional grounds, not religious ones. So I have to pay the Social Security tax.

BTW, as a pastor, I am considered "self-employed," so I've got to pay the whole enchilada on my own.

21 posted on 12/07/2012 12:31:50 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (A not-much-profit prophet)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Clearly all Christians are shysters and all “spiritual” charlatans are the real deal.


22 posted on 12/07/2012 12:32:14 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: All
Model Church
23 posted on 12/07/2012 12:35:22 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Nice picture of James Carville.


24 posted on 12/07/2012 12:37:08 PM PST by Not A Snowbird (2 Corinthians 4:8)
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To: KarlInOhio

Was that photo taken outside the Michigan legislature yesterday?


25 posted on 12/07/2012 12:47:20 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

And these people run the country, damn that’s scary. Way to go America!


26 posted on 12/07/2012 1:08:40 PM PST by erod (I'm a Chicagoan till Chicago ends...)
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To: Charles Henrickson

TAX THE UNIONS!!


27 posted on 12/07/2012 2:39:06 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Charles Henrickson

lolz

The most liberal churches are probably the ones where the pastor gets a Beamer and a private plane.

tax the unions


28 posted on 12/07/2012 2:45:52 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
The left prays that God doesn’t exist.

They better pray the devil doesn't exist.

29 posted on 12/07/2012 3:03:24 PM PST by unixfox (Abolish Slavery, Repeal The 16th Amendment!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
[How about those little plastic individual cups? Most pastors I know wish we could get rid of them. Maybe I'd go along with taxing those.]

I load 400 of those once a month for the Lord's Supper. Wouldn't bother me to get rid of them, but You had better check with the other Deacons who do clean up and would have to wash and dry those 400 little shot glasses. :)

30 posted on 12/07/2012 3:37:09 PM PST by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
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To: Doomonyou; Cletus.D.Yokel; bcsco

No, while glass is better than plastic, I’m talking about getting rid of individual cups altogether and just going with the chalice. That is the historic Christian practice, it accords with how the Lord instituted the Supper, and that is what I would prefer to do. “Individual cups” is a recent innovation. But not everyone in the congregation would be ready for chalice only, so I don’t press it. I offer the chalice first, and then the tray of individual cups.


31 posted on 12/07/2012 3:45:53 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Lutheran pastor, LCMS)
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To: Charles Henrickson

is it a wooden chalice?

for the grape juice that is


32 posted on 12/07/2012 3:57:32 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: techcor

Sorry but you don’t deserve the coveting IB4TP. You just weren’t paying attention. You do however deserve the top ten designation.


33 posted on 12/07/2012 4:18:26 PM PST by Mercat (Adventures make you late for dinner. Bilbo Baggins)
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To: Charles Henrickson
You can't pick and choose among non-profits. They all have to be taxed or none of them. Taxing non-profits would destroy most of them. Some of the real big ones would survive but most wouldn't so that is why there would be no political will to do this. Also churches would argue (I think successfully) that it would be a violation of the First Amendment. The power to tax is the power to destroy and that would violate the free exercise clause of the First amendment.

[And WE can call off OUR search for a Kewpie Doll winner! It is none other than DUmmie former9thward, for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity. Congratulations!]


34 posted on 12/07/2012 4:20:44 PM PST by luvie (All my heroes wear camos!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“”Nasty, tricksy, churcheses! We hates them!” “
__________________________________________

We all know that the DUmmies are filthy little Communist atheist. Vlad and Karl would be so proud of them.


35 posted on 12/07/2012 5:34:59 PM PST by AlexW
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To: Charles Henrickson

” No, while glass is better than plastic, I’m talking about getting rid of individual cups altogether and just going with the chalice.”
_______________________________________________

As a FORMER Episcopalian, I never had Communion from anything but a silver Chalice. I never heard of anyone complaining, no matter how many drank from it in one communion.
In the Catholic church here, there is only the wafer.


36 posted on 12/07/2012 5:43:42 PM PST by AlexW
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To: GeronL; Doomonyou; Cletus.D.Yokel; bcsco; AlexW
is it a wooden chalice?

No, the chalice is traditionally made of metal. Ours looks like this:

for the grape juice that is

We do not use grape juice in the Lord's Supper. Wine is the element that Christ used in instituting the Sacrament of his Body and Blood, and so that is what we use.

37 posted on 12/07/2012 6:31:11 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Lutheran pastor, LCMS)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I don’t drink alcohol. I think anyone giving it to children should be imprisoned.


38 posted on 12/07/2012 6:33:04 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: PJ-Comix; bcsco; Cletus.D.Yokel
In the DUFU, I wrote:

Oh, and their potluck dinners. Especially those jello salads with the carrots in them. Tax those into oblivion. Please.

Then, over at the DUmmie FUnnies blogspot, commenter Jerome Goolsby wrote:

What do you have against those jello salads? I think those are outstanding.

I like many jello salads. You can't be a Lutheran pastor if you don't like jello salads. It's just that I don't like the ones with the carrots.

39 posted on 12/07/2012 6:37:38 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Lutheran pastor, LCMS)
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To: Charles Henrickson

If I had stayed in the USSA, I would have joined the Lutherans, as many Episcopalians did, but the nearest would have been in Memphis, 60 miles from me.
I did visit one Lutheran church in South Carolina, a few years prior to my “escape from America”.


40 posted on 12/07/2012 7:33:47 PM PST by AlexW
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