Quake Alert Comes 92 Years Late [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 June 2017 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

This past week the U.S. Geological Survey sent out an email alert warning of a 6.8 magnitude earthquake near Santa Barbara, California. A 6.8 magnitude is considered a "strong" quake and likely to cause moderate to severe damage to poorly constructed buildings. The fact that the alert was for an event that occurred in 1925 caused many to question the timeliness of the USGS warning.

USGS Director Suzette Kimball acknowledged that "while the specific utility of this particular alert was low, we shouldn't discount the progress our Agency has made in the way of early warnings. The fact that we can send alerts out via email greatly enhances the speed and breadth of the alert. Everyone connected to the Internet can obtain this information much quicker than in the old days."

"Looking on the bright side, the 92-year lag due to the exacting processing and verification procedures we must follow did result in an amazingly accurate estimate of the magnitude of the event," Kimball boasted. "We avoided the haste that might have resulted in the kind of inaccurate projections that have plagued the National Weather Service, Congressional Budget Office, and Bureau of Economic Analysis. I, for one, would rather be late with the right information than early with the wrong information."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,268711.0/topicseen.html

[Fiji Hill]

The Santa Barbara Earthquake--Vernon Dalhart (1925)

The flip side is The John T. Scopes Trial. Vernon Dalhart was the most popular recording artist in the USA during the 1920's

Way out in California, among the hills so tall,
Stands the town of Santa Barbara, which they thought would never fall.

And then one fateful morning just before the break of day,
When all the town lay sleeping, the hills began to sway.

Then homes and buildings trembled and went crashing to the ground.
The town was all in darkness, and light could not be found.

There were wives and children screaming and dying everywhere,
And the people all were praying, "Oh, Lord, please hear our prayer."

Then daylight found the people with sad and aching hearts.
They were looking for their families that the earthquake tore apart.

But some of them lay sleeping beneath the fallen stone
And their lips were closed forever, never more to cry and moan.

It's just another warning from God up in the sky.
To tell all you good people that he still reigns on high.

We cannot tell the moment when he will call us home,
And we must all be ready before the time has come.