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FBI Concerned That If MAGA Doesn't Conduct A Terrorist Attack Soon They'll Have To Fake One
Babylon Bee ^ | 09/12/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/12/2022 3:16:19 PM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON — After weeks of unsuccessfully stoking Trump supporters towards violent action, the FBI has changed course, beginning internal discussions for executing a MAGA-style attack using FBI resources.

"We are already at Defense Readiness Condition 3 – this means that if the extreme MAGA wing doesn't act, we will bypass the plainclothes agent phase to DefCon 1, bringing out our biggest weapon: Ray Epps." FBI Director Christopher Wray addressed a round table of defense ministers, eliciting scattered gasps when he invoked Ray Epps, the famous FBI asset with expertise in starting insurrections.

The attempts to get "MAGA Republicans" to commit terrorism have escalated in recent weeks. The gentle initial prodding of the Mar-A-Lago raid failed to evoke a riot, and the prodding was then escalated to a speech by Biden with obvious fascist overtones attacking Trump supporters, finally culminating in the raiding of over 50 Trump ally homes last week. "If that doesn't do it, what will?" said Wray.

Critics have contended that there is no widespread evidence of the FBI's history of supporting and propagating terrorism to justify crackdowns on the current administration's political enemies. Ted Cruz, however, has asked pointed questions about FBI involvement in perpetrating the events of January 6, and Cruz asked Justice Department representatives whether the FBI was involved. The FBI has provided a comprehensive answer to Cruz, saying "Shut up."

At publishing time, several dozen military-age males with crew cuts had shown up in attendance to an "election justice" rally of Trump supporters but were sadly outed as Feds and given swirlies and wedgies.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; creepstate; deepstate; fbi; lampoon; maga; policestate; rayepps; satire; singlepartystate; trump; wray
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Not satire
1 posted on 09/12/2022 3:16:19 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

It’s not as if they haven’t been trying.


2 posted on 09/12/2022 3:18:31 PM PDT by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
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To: DFG

I thought they already did on 1/6?


3 posted on 09/12/2022 3:19:27 PM PDT by Leep (Hillary will NEVER be president! 😁)
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To: DFG

They’ll (FIB) do it before the election.


4 posted on 09/12/2022 3:20:32 PM PDT by laplata (They want each crisis to take the greatest toll possible.)
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To: laplata

Ever the plaigiarist, to “get Trump,m” Biden borrows heavily from Melville paraphrasing Ahab:
“I’ll chase him round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares maelstrom and round perdition’s flames before I give him up!”

Ahab’s tirade at the end are Biden verbatim with his final lines: “To the last I grapple with thee; from Hell’s heart I stab at thee;


5 posted on 09/12/2022 3:25:21 PM PDT by Liz (MAN PROPOSES....GOD DISPOSES.)
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To: DFG

Jan6 was a successful operation for them that they’ve been milking ever since.

The FIB must have 10 operations they are working on at this time.


6 posted on 09/12/2022 3:26:00 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: DFG

Once upon a time, I would have said “LOL.” But not anymore.

Sometimes you feel that you’re back at Coney Island, going through the House of (distorting) Mirrors or going into the barrel where everything is upside down.

This is based on my experience growing up in NYC, but there are modern equivalents and it’s only gotten worse.

Once upon a time, you “can’t trust your lying eyes,” meant as a challenge to people who weren’t there and just gave you the manipulated press version...now you really can’t trust your eyes, because every single thing we see now is either manipulated in its presentation - or manipulated at the source, meaning it’s staged.

This has been going on since the dawn of time and political rulership, but the new technologies make it almost inescapable.


7 posted on 09/12/2022 3:31:31 PM PDT by livius
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To: DFG

No, not satire in the least.


8 posted on 09/12/2022 3:31:52 PM PDT by fwdude (Racism is not dead, but it is on life support - kept alive by politicians….” — Thomas Sowell)
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To: DFG

Maybe the FBI could plan the kidnapping of a Democrat governor only this time go through with it.

Any lurking glowies can PM me for suggestions on which one. :)


9 posted on 09/12/2022 3:33:11 PM PDT by TigersEye (The Democrat Party is criminal, unAmerican and illegitimate )
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To: DFG

When Obama wanted a distraction he would have the FBI set some nutjob up


10 posted on 09/12/2022 3:34:00 PM PDT by butlerweave
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To: Liz

Very good post.


11 posted on 09/12/2022 3:40:27 PM PDT by laplata (They want each crisis to take the greatest toll possible.)
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To: Liz
I love your analogy and I also like the way the story ends ...


12 posted on 09/12/2022 3:41:48 PM PDT by TigersEye (The Democrat Party is criminal, unAmerican and illegitimate )
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To: DFG
Critics have contended that there is no widespread evidence of the FBI's history of supporting and propagating terrorism to justify crackdowns

Viola Liuzzo might have a comment on that.

Oh, wait, she can't. She was taken out in an FBI hit.

13 posted on 09/12/2022 3:48:19 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: DFG

Truth right there!!


14 posted on 09/12/2022 4:10:17 PM PDT by DivineMomentsOfTruth ("There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily." -GW)
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To: Liz

I can picture Biden yelling “TRUUUUUUUUUMP!!!!” into a microphone, unless he sticks with the original script and yells “KHAAAAAAN” instead.


15 posted on 09/12/2022 4:19:37 PM PDT by Bernard (“the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of God." JFK 1-20-61)
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To: DFG

I still remember the Black Panther coloring books for kids from 1968-1969. It taught kids to kill cops.

FBI fakes or not?


16 posted on 09/12/2022 4:22:09 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar
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To: DFG

I agree they are right on a lot of time
s.


17 posted on 09/12/2022 4:30:25 PM PDT by tiki (Electiongate)
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To: DFG

Swirlies and wedgies

Just what the pukes deserve


18 posted on 09/12/2022 4:32:18 PM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds )
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To: DFG

Probably not satire, at least the headline.


19 posted on 09/12/2022 4:38:53 PM PDT by arthurus (covfefe o)
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To: DFG

I honestly believe that is not satire.


20 posted on 09/12/2022 4:45:32 PM PDT by Obadiah (Finishing is better than starting.)
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