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WANTED: Good Come-backs and Put-downs
Me
| 12/28/03
| ILBBACH
Posted on 12/28/2003 9:52:25 PM PST by ILBBACH
I have a cousin who had throat cancer and had half his tongue removed as well as other tissue in this throat. Needless to say, he doesn't speak well at all and is usually very frustrated.
However, the doctors were unable to remove his sense of humor. He is the same smart-@ss he was before, and still has a sardonic and acerbic wit.
For a (belated) Christmas present, I would like to give him a set of business cards that have come-backs and put-downs on them.
I know he would love it, and I'll tell you - the nastier, the better!
I thought this would be the best place to find such information, considering that you are the most witty and creative people I know!
If you think your contribution is really "bad," Freepmail me (and don't worry about shocking me, my dad was in the Marines for almost 40 years)!
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS:
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To: Rockitz
I know you are, but what am I?
61
posted on
12/29/2003 11:27:44 AM PST
by
bk1000
(put him back in the spider hole)
To: bk1000
Trading insults with you is like dueling with an un-armed man.
62
posted on
12/29/2003 11:35:41 AM PST
by
LisaMalia
(Buckeye Fan since birth!!)
To: ILBBACH
63
posted on
12/29/2003 11:45:59 AM PST
by
BigWaveBetty
(HAPPY NEW YEAR!!)
To: ILBBACH
To: ILBBACH
One that is usually effective is: "You just came out of the trees and learned to walk upright!"
Or "Your family's totem is a three toed sloth."
65
posted on
12/29/2003 12:39:42 PM PST
by
Colt .45
(Cold War, Vietnam Era, Desert Storm Veteran - Pride in my Southern Ancestry!)
To: ILBBACH
" You are a veritable cesspool of converstion"
66
posted on
12/29/2003 1:35:48 PM PST
by
international american
(support our troops................itch slap a liberal today!)
To: JackelopeBreeder
""You evidently suffer from delusions of adequacy."
ROTF......
67
posted on
12/29/2003 1:36:50 PM PST
by
international american
(support our troops................itch slap a liberal today!)
To: Lazamataz
"Nature played a cruel trick on you -- you lived."
ROTF
68
posted on
12/29/2003 1:39:26 PM PST
by
international american
(support our troops................itch slap a liberal today!)
To: Rockitz
This is like reading a russian novel:)
69
posted on
12/29/2003 1:50:34 PM PST
by
international american
(support our troops................itch slap a liberal today!)
To: ILBBACH
"You filthy piece of distended rectum!"
70
posted on
12/29/2003 1:52:01 PM PST
by
Chewbacca
(I talk to myself because it is the only way I can have an intelligent conversation.)
To: ILBBACH
Thanks, Illbach for the lively thread. I'm saving it. Sure hope your cousin will be belly laughing soon.
71
posted on
12/29/2003 2:10:07 PM PST
by
Slip18
(,)
To: Rockitz
Thank goodness I don't talk to liberals that often - I'd never be able to remember all of these gems!
72
posted on
12/29/2003 2:42:18 PM PST
by
ILBBACH
To: ILBBACH
BTTT!
73
posted on
12/29/2003 2:44:29 PM PST
by
StarFan
To: ILBBACH
What happened to your voice?
Cat got my tongue.
To: ILBBACH
ROFLOL Bump
75
posted on
12/29/2003 3:06:21 PM PST
by
apackof2
(I won't be satisfied until I am to smart for my own good)
To: ILBBACH
Satan is saving a seat for you, he always wanted a brother.
Even the gun would refuse.
The rope would break.
The poison wouldn't.
And no one else would bother.
Some learn from failures, but you fail to learn at all.
76
posted on
12/29/2003 3:59:58 PM PST
by
Michael121
(An old soldier knows truth. Only a Dead Soldier knows peace.)
To: BigWaveBetty
Here's mine:
"Thou spleeny hasty-witted rampallion!"
77
posted on
12/29/2003 4:00:22 PM PST
by
StrictTime
("Stupid, stupid Rat creatures!")
To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
78
posted on
12/29/2003 7:29:53 PM PST
by
fatima
(Karen is home ,Thank you for your prayers,2 weeks leave,4 ID)
To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
"What did you waste the money your mother gave you for (insert whatever it is that he/she has just screwed up here, 'singing lessons' for example, or 'driving lessons;' whatever).
79
posted on
12/29/2003 9:29:43 PM PST
by
Taxman
To: Chad Fairbanks
Thanks. I knew you'd come through. : )
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