Free Republic Smokers' Lounge

Puff List ^ | 3/12/04 | francisandbeans

[Just another Joe]

Join the FR smokers lounge bump list...click on the logo

Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...

Smoker's Lounge

Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em shssh
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aaaaa,:`___________________________||`,:'.",`.;'`,:'.',`: <--------Life is good!
A very special thank you to Registered for providing us with this fine logo....we will bear it with pride.

[Just another Joe]

This weeks tobacco related threads

Double drink prices, urges doctors. More social engineering
World's oldest man dies at 114 Premature death due to smoking? HA
Sheriff Won't Hire Smokers Discrimination, pure and simple
NYC Mayor: Gay Couples Merit Equal Rights But smokers don't
Stressed troops turn to smokes, alcohol, prayer
Study: We're Eating Ourselves to Death We warned 'em
Students end smoking ban after university bar sales slump University gets a lesson in free market theory
R-Rating Sought in Some Smoking Films Utopia movies only need apply
Pinko Reporter Peter Arnett Marries Much Younger Woman- PR Flak For Cigarette Company
Smoking Ordinance Takes Effect Thursday - police ready to enforce it (Fayetteville, Arkansas) Another bullet in property rights
W.Va. should tax tobacco products according to risks Let's TAX those risky behaviors
Passage Urged for Budget Amendment for Public Health; Tobacco Tax-Reduce Deficit,Cut Teen Smoking Have tobacco users make up the shortfall. Yah, that's the ticket.
EPA Studies Chemicals Emitted From Microwave Popcorn Linked to Lung Disease [POPCORN ALERT] SO, it IS the dose that makes the poison

[Just another Joe]

The Lounge is open!

Free Republic Smokers' Lounge theme song
Click on "I love this bar"

[Conspiracy Guy]

Morning.

[Just another Joe]

Morning, CG, how's your day going?

[Conspiracy Guy]

Great, blue skies and 60 degrees going into the high 70's. My boat is calling out to me.

[Just another Joe]

CCccccccc GGgggggg, I'm in the waaaatteerrrrr. Coooomme to mmmmeeeeee.
LOL

[Sunshine Sister]

We are starting a little early today. I think it will have to be Coke this morning.

[Conspiracy Guy]

ROTF. But the boat is still on the trailer in the backyard with the cover on and the battery out.

CG

[CSM]

Hey Joe, I'll take a bloody mary for me and a pheasant wing for my choc. lab! Mocha Girl Dog (MGD) wants to move in with you, she says I don't take her hunting and she wants to earn her keep! She's a good conservative and just hates mooching.

[Just another Joe]

Grab yourself one out of the ice box, Sis. You know soft drinks are free.

[Just another Joe]

Here you go, CSM. She doesn't want to move in with me! 1st time I've been hunting in 25 years.

[Sunshine Sister]

I don't usually drink the soft stuff. Sorry I didn't know I had to serve myself!

[Just another Joe]

Sorry I didn't know I had to serve myself!

And you've been coming in here HOW long? lol

[Just another Joe]

And now, for the first joke of the day. Sort of---


Ordering Pizza in 2008

---

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net. I see you are calling from home, would you like it delivered there?"

Customer: "Huh? Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."

Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a motorcycle?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"

Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?"

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Homeland Secure Constitution that has just been ratified prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut

[SheLion]

Good morning, Joe.

[MeekOneGOP]

Mornin', Joe ! Happy Friday !

[Gabz]

WOW!

You sure are early this am!!!!

[MeekOneGOP]

Kerry fails to back up foreign 'endorsements'

    Sen. John Kerry refuses to provide any information to support his assertion earlier this week that he has met with foreign leaders who beseeched him to prevail over President Bush in November's election.
    The Massachusetts Democrat has made no official foreign trips since the start of last year, according to Senate records and his own published schedules. And an extensive review of Mr. Kerry's travel schedule domestically revealed only one opportunity for the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee to meet with foreign leaders here.
    On Monday, Mr. Kerry told reporters in Florida that he'd met with foreign leaders who privately endorsed him.
    "I've met with foreign leaders who can't go out and say this publicly," he said. "But, boy, they look at you and say: 'You've got to win this. You've got to beat this guy. We need a new policy.' Things like that."

_______________________________________________________

John 'F' Kerry is a liar and a crook !! ...

[Just another Joe]

Morning, She, how's my favorite feline this morning?

[Just another Joe]

Mornin' Meek, how you doin'?