You Might be a Blueneck if......(when you're tired of Redneck jokes)

1/24/05 | add925

[add925]

Blueneck jokes (as opposed to redneck jokes) are a vast, untapped natural resource. Don't expect Hollywood jokesters to pick up on this anytime soon.

You might be a Blueneck if........

Your idea of a really making a difference involves cardboard signs & slogans. Your wardrobe has at least 12 multicolor button-down shirts or blouses. You have as much w(h)ine as Jaques Cherac. You think Fidel is simply misunderstood. You actually use the term “significant other” in a sentence. The Village People look like the folks at your last cocktail party. You actually use the term “cocktail party” in a sentence. You get nervous being more than 75 miles from the ocean or large river. You say “how do people live like that” at least once a week. Your biggest fear is walking into or being seen in a “Tavern”. Walmart represents the biggest threat to your area. You have to use a pass-key just to get into your neighborhood or building. Friends and family are equally important to you. Mardi Gras costumes don’t seem outrageous at all. You have more rocks on your fingers than in your head. You have more rings on your body than on your fingers. College Professors actually seem interesting to you. Your surroundings are defined as “Zen”. An art gallery tour takes you more than 12.5 minutes. Your Spiritual Advisor has a crystal ball. You think there may actually be a need for tinfoil headwear. Vallet is a necessity, not a treat. How you are perceived is far more important than what you perceive of others. Somebody else actually physically touches your money. Your idea of fashion is what someone else of prominence thinks of it first. Your answering service is not a machine but a person. You get slightly nervous simply changing planes in the Midwest. You often use the term “Global” (anything) at least once a day. You’ve often thought of, but never have quite use the term “Little People”.

[chs68]

If you think Ramsey Clark is a true American patriot ---

You might be a blueneck.

If you think Jesse Jackson cares about Civil Rights --

You might be a blueneck.

If you fret about the meaning of "is" --

You might be a blueneck.

If you believe that President Bush "Made it [9/11/01] Happen On Purpose (MIHOP)",

You might be a blueneck.

If you believe that Flight Number 77 did not fly into the Pentagon on 9/11/01, but instead was escorted by Navy fighters out over the Atlantic Ocean, and made to crash, and further believe that the Navy sent one or two missles into the Pentagon,

You -- for sure -- are a blueneck.

If you think that Michael Moore is a great film-maker and that Al Franken is funny,

You are definitely a blueneck.

[chs68]

If you agree with Joe Grossinger's letter to the Editor of the El Paso Times, contained in this thread:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1328277/posts

You most likely are a Blueneck.

[chs68]

If you like being called a Blueneck --

You are most likely a Blueneck.