" Tech Trouble : Can't Down Grade Wife 1.0 back down to Girlfriend 7.0 " - FUNNY LETTER

Rush Limbaugh Show ^ | 12/01.05 | Rush Limbaugh Show Skit

[AirBorn]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs: applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

A Troubled User.

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. - You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. -I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck, Tech Support

[AirBorn]

Hello Posters!

I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did.

Of course..you do know that there will be a " Women's Version" of this Program coming out soon after this one airs here from the more gentler sex!

You can always count on Rush to cheer up your days!!

Darth AirBorne

[EnigmaticAnomaly]

Well...my Wife 1.0 has been infected with the SEPARATION VIRUS...and now I have neither a wife 1.0 nor a girlfriend 7.0 operating correctly...

[beaver fever]

It should be noted that the C:\APOLOGIZE command is run by a script using a set timeout function.

If you don't say I'm sorry fast enough the page will fail to load. Indefinitely

[Maceman]

This has been floating around the Net for years now. It's funny, and I'm glad you posted it.

But I really don't think it originated at RushLimbaugh.com.

[dfwddr]

Try this workaround:

See if you can get wife1.0 to move C:\BREASTS to DD:\BREASTS.

This is unproven, but I hear that sometimes the Hard Drive responds well. This, of course, could also cause a crash, that would render wife1.0 to BSOD ( Bellowing Screams Of Death).

[dfwddr]

Tech Ping

[apackof2]

Sorry