Calling freeper parents- Give advice on speech to HS daughter's prom date

5/13/06 | dukeman

[Amelia]

After the prom, is he bringing her home, or are they getting a hotel room somewhere for the evening?

You may think I'm kidding, but many kids around here regard a prom date as a "weekend" date, and have hotel rooms at the beach reserved for after the prom.

[linda_22003]

"It has been observed"? What a great, unquantifiable, unprovable statement. Unless you've been loitering near the entrance. :)

[MJemison]

Just put a gun on the table, as a background decoration! Just kidding, Tell him you will break his legs if he does not behave and I would not let him drive her to the prom. Don't they take Limo's?

Our daughter and her date are taking a stretch limo that they rented with 5 other couples. It's a big relief for us that none of those kids are driving. Besides, it will be like a big party for them. No alcohol is allowed in the limo.

On another note- Husband likes to invite the boyfriend(s) over when we castrate the bull calves. Leaves a lasting impression. Especially when the dog eats the 'nads in front of them!

[linda_22003]

The first good piece of advice I've seen yet. I don't understand the testosterone-spiked threats on this thread, unless they're being said "humorously".

[QQQQ]

The best way is to ask:" Do you want to meet Lorena Babbit?";-)

[durasell]

it's humor

[Desert_Girl]

Actually, it was a 1967 GTO, my husband's first car.

After pondering this for a while, I don't think I would let my own daughter get into that car today, omg...

[Petronski]

Doesn't really matter what you say, as long as you are fieldstripping and cleaning your favorite handgun while you say it.

[Bigoleelephant]

Just tell him you have no problem going back to prison.

[FairOpinion]

This is from an old Dear Abby column, reprinted many times.

Print it out and give it to him.

---

STORY OF TEEN'S ACCIDENT STILL EXERTS POWERFUL PULL

DEAR ABBY: A senior girl at my school was tragically killed in a car accident over Super Bowl weekend. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt and was thrown from the car. The car rolled on top of her and crushed her. Her boyfriend was with her. I heard that before she died, he took her hand and she told him she loved him. It just blew me away. My cousin was killed a year ago in much the same way.
My family has read your articles for years, but one touched us deeply. It was an essay about a teen who was killed in a car accident, and he was only 17. I am only 17 and so was the girl who died. Please print it again to remind us of the fact that we're only mortal and should cherish every waking day. -- BARRY W. IN KENNEWICK, WASH.

DEAR BARRY: That piece is titled, "Please God, I'm Only 17," and it's the most requested piece in the history of the column. Young people have written to me to confirm that it made them think twice about their driving habits and encouraged them to be careful. You are right; it should run at least once a year, so here it is:

PLEASE GOD, I'M ONLY 17

The day I died was an ordinary school day. How I wish I had taken the bus. But I was too cool for the bus. I remember how I wheedled the car out of Mom. "Special favor," I pleaded. "All the kids drive."

When the 2:50 bell rang, I threw all my books in the locker. I was free until 8:40 tomorrow morning! I ran to the parking lot, excited at the thought of driving a car and being my own boss. Free!

It doesn't matter how the accident happened. I was goofing off -- going too fast -- taking crazy chances. But I was enjoying my freedom and having fun. The last thing I remember was passing an old lady who seemed to be going awfully slow. I heard the deafening crash and felt a terrible jolt. Glass and steel flew everywhere. My whole body seemed to be turning inside out. I heard myself scream.
Suddenly I awakened; it was very quiet. A police officer was standing over me. Then I saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I was saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged glass were sticking out all over. Strange that I couldn't feel anything.

Hey, don't pull that sheet over my head! I can't be dead. I'm only 17. I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to grow up and have a wonderful life. I haven't lived yet. I can't be dead!

Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks had to identify me. Why did they have to see me like this? Why did I have to look at Mom's eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal of her life? Dad suddenly looked like an old man. He told the man in charge, "Yes, he is my son."

The funeral was a weird experience. I saw all my relatives and friends walk toward the casket. They passed by, one by one, and looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. Some of my buddies were crying. A few of the girls touched my hand and sobbed as they walked away.

Please -- somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of here! I can't bear to see my mom and dad so broken up. My grandparents are so racked with grief they can hardly walk. My brothers and sisters are like zombies. They move like robots. In a daze, everybody. No one can believe this. And I can't believe it, either.

Please don't bury me! I'm not dead! I have a lot of living to do! I want to laugh and run again. I want to sing and dance. Please don't put me in the ground. I promise if you give me one more chance, God, I'll be the most careful driver in the whole world. All I want is one more chance!

Please, God, I'm only 17!

---

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20020327

[angcat]

LOL

Limo is the best idea. I have six more years and then I shall be a mighty wreck. I am going to probably follow the limo or have to be sedated.

[laotzu]

"See that little girl over there? She is my heart....and you need to know that I've got no problem going back to prison"

[bert]

.......Toss him a 250 grain .44 caliber jacketed hollow-point bullet and ask him.....

"Are you prepared?"

[sine_nomine]

Dropping a line like, "I don't mind going back to prison" would be effective.

[durasell]

Hardly believable. A teenager would texting her friends...

[joesbucks]

If your daughter has been brought up well and has chosen the right boy to go with, no speech or subtle threats will be necessary. Wish them well and have a great time.

[freedumb2003]

The date seems to be a decent enough kid, although he's a little too much into love of his car.

Any 17 year old kid that isn't a little too much in to love of his car is probably gay.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

"What ever you do to my daughter, I will do to you 3x as much".

[Flyer]

Actually, it was a 1967 GTO

The car you called an old jalopy was a '67 Goat?

Sigh, women just have no sense of value.

[jeremiah]

Have your wife volunteer to be a chaperon at the establishment. Then get your brother Vinnie to escort them in his 59' Caddie, give brother Vinnie a Bowie knife to clean his nails with at opportune moments. Stay home and watch the game on TV with completed ease.