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Tips on how to be a good "FReeper"
self ^ | 26 Dec, 2007 | Self

Posted on 12/26/2007 8:08:46 AM PST by Graybeard58

It seems to me that we are getting a lot of new members and the following may be helpful to them.

Live in a solid "red" state and when anybody complains about some asinine law in their blue state, tell them to "just move from there". The simplistic solution is always the best one. Refer to California as Californicate or Kalifornia. The people's republic of (insert state name here) is always good.

When an article appears about something negative happening in public schools, proudly proclaim that all your kids are home schooled and geniuses to boot. Extra points if you also state "Publik educashun suks" extra, extra points if you put "home school" in caps and add a few exclamination points.

Any article posted about guns being used in a crime, be sure to ask what caliber gun was used and berate the author for leaving out that very relevant fact. If the good guy shot at the bad guy and missed, tell everybody that he needs more range time. Helpful also to mention what an excellent marksman you are. Post a picture of one of your guns for extra points.

When an article about those deceptive credit card companies is posted, post a reply stating one of the following, "I don't have a credit card and never will", or "I have credit cards but pay all balances if full every month", extra points if yours is the first reply on the matter. If you can squeeze it in there, also let folks know that you don't own a television set anymore and haven't since 1967. If you can't get that in, you'll just have to wait for a thread about the MSM to post it. Don't even hint at the fact that most articles posted here are from the MSM.

A "noob" or "Newbie" is a member who has been here one day less than you have, an old timer has been here at least one day longer. Noobs opinions don't mean very much because they all started forming their political philosophies the day they signed up here.

Become adept at using these terms, Noobie, troll, DUer, idiot, bigot, moron (preferred spelling - "maroon"), IBTZ etc.

Join one or more of the following as soon as possible, Spelling police, grammar police, thread police. Extra points if you join all three

I'm not fully coffeed up yet,am I logged in? Any helpful suggestions or additions are welcome.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: faq; fr; freeper; freeperetiquette; freerepublic; lazarus; rhetoric
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1 posted on 12/26/2007 8:08:47 AM PST by Graybeard58
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To: Graybeard58
Thanks to Backhoe but these should help

HTML Help Threads for Newbies
(And Anyone Else Who Needs It)






2 posted on 12/26/2007 8:13:33 AM PST by Rightly Biased (Courage is not the lack of fear it is acting in spite of it<><)
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To: Graybeard58
All Freepers held in high regard deposit $10,000 a month to a Swiss bank account only I have the address for.

Don't miss out.
3 posted on 12/26/2007 8:13:48 AM PST by Vision (Thompson/Hunter '08)
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To: Graybeard58
moron (preferred spelling - "maroon"),

And "moran"

4 posted on 12/26/2007 8:17:05 AM PST by lowbridge
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To: Graybeard58

You left out—when someone complains about a network show, always be sure to say you threw out your teevee years ago, and berate anyone who still has one.

;)

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! (A happy holiday is optional.)


5 posted on 12/26/2007 8:19:39 AM PST by MizSterious (Deport all the illegals to sanctuary cities.)
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To: All

This really should be in “Breaking news”.


6 posted on 12/26/2007 8:20:32 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58

And don’t forget on any movie thread the need to announce to everyone that you haven’t watched a movie in years


7 posted on 12/26/2007 8:22:16 AM PST by denydenydeny (Expel the priest and you don't inaugurate the age of reason, you get the witch doctor--Paul Johnson)
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To: Graybeard58

This should really not be in BREAKING NEWS.

Just kidding......Made you look.

But really.....this is series and it could be very hugh.


8 posted on 12/26/2007 8:23:40 AM PST by BigBlueJon (Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas to bed.......Jack Bauer wears George W pajamas.)
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To: Graybeard58

And don’t forget the Lazarus threads, where a 1, 2 even 5 year old thread is resurrected with a reply like “I agree!”
So everyone jumps in the discussion again. :)


9 posted on 12/26/2007 8:24:50 AM PST by najida (As God is my witness! The cockatoos ate my breakfast..)
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To: Graybeard58

IBTZ


10 posted on 12/26/2007 8:25:35 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Graybeard58
I love it Graybeard!

Lol...

If you can squeeze it in there, also let folks know that you don't own a television set anymore and haven't since 1967.

You forgot one though:

When in General/Chat and there's entertainment news on a celebrity, movie or a music band reuniting which you have no interest in, a good FReeper always clicks on the thread and posts "Who cares."

11 posted on 12/26/2007 8:25:38 AM PST by MotleyGirl70 (Dear GOP, Conservatism works every time itís tried. Sincerely, MotleyGirl70~~~Go Packers!~~~)
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To: Graybeard58
I only have one TV and I tuned it to Fox News in 1999 and ripped off the knob. I believe in Black helicopters, White SUVs, AIDS as a CIA conspiracy, the Bilderbergers/Illuminati/Trilateral Commission/CFR/Masons control everything, and that if we just elected Ron Paul everything would be hunky dory.

Do I qualify?

12 posted on 12/26/2007 8:25:40 AM PST by CholeraJoe ("At last my arm is complete!" Sweeney Todd)
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To: CholeraJoe
Do I qualify?

Well, you have been here a lot longer than I have, so you must qualify.

13 posted on 12/26/2007 8:27:38 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58

Caused by Global Warming / George Bush’s fault


14 posted on 12/26/2007 8:28:32 AM PST by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: Graybeard58
"I have credit cards but pay all balances if full every month", extra points if yours is the first reply on the matter."

I have credit cards, but my wife and I disagree on paying off the full balance most of the time.

How many points do I get for that?

15 posted on 12/26/2007 8:31:47 AM PST by Sam's Army (If Gruden drops the next 2 at home, all hell is gonna break loose)
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To: Graybeard58

“...proudly proclaim that all your kids are home schooled and geniuses to boot.”

hahaha...Home Run...!

I guess I should read the rest of your post....I need some more laughs...

I like to say: “sanctimony is my name” for certain type of posters...


16 posted on 12/26/2007 8:31:54 AM PST by dakine
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To: Graybeard58

I like cheese...


17 posted on 12/26/2007 8:32:19 AM PST by JRios1968 (Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will. - Ben Stein)
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To: Graybeard58
"noob? That just sounds dirty!"


18 posted on 12/26/2007 8:32:56 AM PST by avacado
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To: avacado

Everyone who has replied to this point, has more time here than I do, I haven’t been able to call anyone a noob yet dammit.


19 posted on 12/26/2007 8:34:59 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58

You can call me a ‘noob!’ It would be my honor!


20 posted on 12/26/2007 8:36:13 AM PST by avacado
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To: avacado
It would be my honor! Honor?

She offered her honor, he honered her offer. All night long it was honor offer, honor offer, honor offer.


21 posted on 12/26/2007 8:38:34 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58
Everyone who has replied to this point, has more time here than I do, I haven’t been able to call anyone a noob yet dammit.

Noob.

22 posted on 12/26/2007 8:39:48 AM PST by NittanyLion
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To: Graybeard58

Mind if I hijack your thread? LOL! I mean, excuse me for putting on my tin foil hat here, by I think the black helicopters are on to you. Better post your opus now, before you’re zotted by the mods or worse, before we all get the dreaded message “This Thread Has Been Pulled - Reason: Just Because”.


23 posted on 12/26/2007 8:40:18 AM PST by andy58-in-nh (Kill the terrorists, secure the borders, and give me back my freedom.)
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To: Graybeard58

Noob :^)


24 posted on 12/26/2007 8:40:59 AM PST by Rightly Biased (Courage is not the lack of fear it is acting in spite of it<><)
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To: Graybeard58

Thailand?


25 posted on 12/26/2007 8:43:33 AM PST by day10 (Rules cannot substitute for character.)
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To: day10
Thailand?

You might be right.

26 posted on 12/26/2007 8:53:49 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58

Thailand? has not been added to the Lexicon or Freeper Lore, bur darn that was funny when it happened..........


27 posted on 12/26/2007 8:55:18 AM PST by day10 (Rules cannot substitute for character.)
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To: NittanyLion

I’ve lurked here since 1977 but just signed up in ‘03.


28 posted on 12/26/2007 8:56:15 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: martin_fierro; Graybeard58; JoeSixPack1
Extra points can be acquired on the Hooligan threads by declaring to all that “Harleys Suck”® or by being the first poster to use the term “Donorcycles”® or “Organ Donors”®.

In addition, regaling us with stories of an uncle/neighbor/acquaintance who died a grisly death while motorcycling without a helmet guarantees instant thread “cred”.

29 posted on 12/26/2007 8:56:25 AM PST by BraveMan
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To: BraveMan

My grand pappy drank a quart of whiskey and smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day every day of his life and lived to be 121 years old!


30 posted on 12/26/2007 8:58:40 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: BraveMan

But he always wore his motor cycle helmit.


31 posted on 12/26/2007 8:59:38 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58
Don't forget to mention that unfortunate incident between your sister and the møøsë.
32 posted on 12/26/2007 8:59:48 AM PST by Redcloak (Dingos ate my tagline.)
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To: Redcloak

She still suffers from moose derangement syndrome.


33 posted on 12/26/2007 9:01:04 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58
extra points if yours is the first reply on the matter.

Your odds of pulling this one off are much better if you skip reading the article...

34 posted on 12/26/2007 9:08:01 AM PST by Onelifetogive (* Sarcasm tag ALWAYS required. For some FReepers, sarcasm can NEVER be obvious enough.)
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To: Graybeard58
If you can squeeze it in there, also let folks know that you don't own a television set anymore and haven't since 1967.

It was 1997, not 1967...

35 posted on 12/26/2007 9:08:55 AM PST by Onelifetogive (* Sarcasm tag ALWAYS required. For some FReepers, sarcasm can NEVER be obvious enough.)
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To: Graybeard58
That's exactly what I was thinking.

You forgot the barf alert!

Be sure to put an 's for every plural and use "their" whenever possible.

Any computer problem can be solved by posting either a Linux penguin or an Apple logo.

36 posted on 12/26/2007 9:09:31 AM PST by DeFault User
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To: Graybeard58
Join one or more of the following as soon as possible, Spelling police, grammar police, thread police. Extra points if you join all three

You left off the period at the end of the last sentence.

37 posted on 12/26/2007 9:10:02 AM PST by Onelifetogive (* Sarcasm tag ALWAYS required. For some FReepers, sarcasm can NEVER be obvious enough.)
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To: Graybeard58
My favorite :

Do a search the next time...and if you did one, you did it the wrong way."

38 posted on 12/26/2007 9:10:24 AM PST by paltz
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To: Graybeard58

Always second guess the spell-checker.


39 posted on 12/26/2007 9:10:57 AM PST by Thrownatbirth (.....Iraq Invasion fan since '91.)
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To: paltz

“Already Posted”


40 posted on 12/26/2007 9:12:17 AM PST by paltz
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To: Graybeard58
I’ve lurked here since 1977 but just signed up in ‘03.

Well, I give you much credit, but in fact I was participating in the old altavista boards since around 1965.

41 posted on 12/26/2007 9:15:04 AM PST by NittanyLion
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To: Graybeard58

I’m inclined to think of a NOOB as somebody here a year or less.
I generally give them wide latitude, EXCEPT when they personally attack a veteran Freeper.

(BTW, you missed a rule:
Anybody posting Helen Thompson pics will be shot on sight, no matter what their signup date is!!)

And please, I beg you, do away with the “Bushes fault” stuff!
Old. Unimaginative. Just plain worn out.


42 posted on 12/26/2007 9:15:09 AM PST by djf (Whats with Santa and the short guys and toys? Michael Jackson of the Arctic? Somethin fishy here!)
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To: Graybeard58
Tacticals:
  1. Speak about ideas and ideals.
  2. Always add to a thread, else be silent.
  3. Don't speak ill of other freepers on anything.
  4. Keep praise of anyone down three clicks from where one might, at the time, so want.
  5. Worry not bout spellink and grammah, nor worry others, but make the best read of what be writ.
  6. If needed to speak of some bad poster be as discreet and circumspect as possible. (examples DITHF, CGEB, etc.)

Strategry-icals:

  1. Don't bear grudges.
  2. Speak about ideas and ideals.
  3. Make the best of things.
  4. Own yourself.

43 posted on 12/26/2007 9:16:21 AM PST by bvw
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To: Graybeard58

Did someone get a lump of coal in their stocking?


44 posted on 12/26/2007 9:16:47 AM PST by rockrr (Global warming is to science what Islam is to religion)
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To: djf
Anybody posting Helen Thompson pics will be shot on sight, no matter what their signup date is!!)

You just guaranteed that one will be posted.

45 posted on 12/26/2007 9:17:23 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: BraveMan

Mooses biting sisters, hughes, series, cheese &

ALL YOUR POSTS* ARE BELONG TO US!!!!!!!


46 posted on 12/26/2007 9:18:25 AM PST by JoeSixPack1
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To: JoeSixPack1

Cowbell

this thread needs more Cowbell!!


47 posted on 12/26/2007 9:19:01 AM PST by Rightly Biased (Courage is not the lack of fear it is acting in spite of it<><)
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To: Graybeard58
okay I'm newer, and have no TV.

You forgot someone must post

So those who have eaten can toss it

48 posted on 12/26/2007 9:22:28 AM PST by MrEdd (Heck is the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aren't going.)
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To: MrEdd

I B T Z !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


49 posted on 12/26/2007 9:23:34 AM PST by JoeSixPack1
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To: MrEdd
Photobucket
50 posted on 12/26/2007 9:23:56 AM PST by Graybeard58 ( Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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