Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

Posted on 10/24/2008 6:19:27 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

The 10 Most Disappointing Treats for Trick-or-Treaters

On Halloween night, some houses struggle with the idea of candy. There are good houses, and there are bad houses. The best trick-or-treaters know to avoid the latter. At the food site Serious Eats, we all love Halloween, but wish certain homes would just stop handing out the classically bad "treats." They weren't good last year, the year before that, or now. Our own Erin Zimmer put together this list of our top 10 Halloween treats that nobody wants...

Toothbrushes

Dentists and orthodontists should not be allowed to celebrate Halloween if they're going to get all tooth doctory on us. Do not bring your work home with you, folks! We all have a personal responsibility to brush, and maybe some of us will forget, but your complimentary bristles on a stick (instead of a Snickers) will not help us remember. It will make us despise you and your trade.

Raisins

Little boxes of stuck-together shriveled globs are not what little kids schlep around the neighborhood for all night. When they say trick-or-treat, they want candy that will rot their teeth, not wrinkled grapes.  (Using an empty box as a kazoo-like instrument, though, is kinda fun.)

Candy Corn

The most polarizing candy of all. The fruitcake of Halloween; it just never goes away. If you love them, fine. But don't subject the rest of us haters to the sickeningly sweet triangle that tastes like neither candy nor corn.

Smarties and Necco Wafers

These chalky candies are supposedly "fruit-flavored," but no fruit I know tastes like dust -- and makes everything eaten after taste like dust, too.

Dum Dum Lollipops

Usually, foods on a stick are yummy (corn dogs, ice pops), but Dum Dums just can't be included on that list. Not even if they were breaded and deep-fried and served at a fair.

Apples

Long before "poisoned candy" scares, evil people were handing out apples instead of candy on Halloween. This disappointing "treat" is the main reason to avoid unwrapped food while trick-or-treating.

Tootsie Rolls

It looks like chocolate and sort of smells like chocolate, but the mini brown tubes are not real chocolate. They taste like watered-down chocolate, and have a chewy texture that will strip the fillings right off your molars.

Miscellaneous, Wrapped Hard Candies

Halloween is supposed to be a holiday for young people, not senior citizens who suck on hard candies all day. Something about the strawberry-shaped strawberries, gold-wrapped butterscotch, and peppermint feels past the expiration date. (These usually get set aside for Granny.)

Laffy Taffy

I do not laffy when I get these. I sobby. I get depressedy. Because it gets all stucky to my teethy and doesn't even taste that goody.

Anything Fun-Sized

Who started calling it this? Since when is one bite fun?! Give us the rich houses with the sprawling driveways and full-sized candy bars any day. Portion control doesn't need to start this young.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: candy; halloween; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-100101-150 next last

1 posted on 10/24/2008 6:19:27 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; ...



 

~ Click here to be added or taken off the list ~

What is your favorite candy?

2 posted on 10/24/2008 6:21:27 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Yeah - my wife shows me last night the stuff she got to hand out at halloween and she plans to hand out these little halloween bags of pretzels - I told her “you’re cleaning up the toilet paper in the yard as a result of this”.


3 posted on 10/24/2008 6:24:19 AM PDT by CrazyJoeDivola
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

WooHooo! Much needed silliness. Thanks for keeping it going.


4 posted on 10/24/2008 6:24:22 AM PDT by CSM (I see this election as a referendum on the stupidity of the American people" (Henkster))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

tOP 5?? i’M IN!!!!


5 posted on 10/24/2008 6:24:36 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

http://www.snotr.com/video/1299


6 posted on 10/24/2008 6:24:45 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Cuba got "Change"...in 1959)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

My father-in-law’s brother gave out scoops of ice cream once way back when he was in college ... yup, unpackaged scoops of ice cream dropped right into their bags.

I’d have to say that’s got to be way up there on the worst treat list.


7 posted on 10/24/2008 6:25:15 AM PDT by FreedomHammer (Just ring? ... let freedom ROAR!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I was gonna pass out stock certificates but the kid will say “Are you kidding me mister?” :-)


8 posted on 10/24/2008 6:25:40 AM PDT by vietvet67
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I consumed my last Tootsie Roll less than two weeks ago....it pulled off an old dental crown, which exposed two more that needed replacement; a $2400 (and that’s with a discounted plan) piece of candy.


9 posted on 10/24/2008 6:26:59 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Cuba got "Change"...in 1959)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring. He replies: ‘I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.’

She answers, ‘ My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.’

‘Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.’

She responds, ‘Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.’

The cab driver is very excited and says, ‘Yes, I’m single and Catholic!’

‘OK’ the nun says. ‘Pull into the next alley.’

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

‘My dear child,’ said the nun, ‘Why are you crying?’

‘Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess; I’m married and I’m Jewish.’

The nun says, ‘That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.’


10 posted on 10/24/2008 6:27:56 AM PDT by fml (So?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

11 posted on 10/24/2008 6:28:51 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CrazyJoeDivola
I'm one up on your wife.....I pass these out...


12 posted on 10/24/2008 6:29:04 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Cuba got "Change"...in 1959)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
I stopped in a convenience store and the person ahead of
me was trying to buy some Tootsie roll pops.

The candy was not in their computer and the saleslady
couldn't find the price.
I told her “The last time I bought some, they were two
cents”.
I forgot to tell her that was about sixty years ago.

13 posted on 10/24/2008 6:30:27 AM PDT by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (Obama and ITS thugs are made paranoid by Sarahnoia. (stole from molly_jack2007))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

OK, I don’t know how to post pics, so someone might want to bring the silliness from post #14 on this thread on over here.....

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2112795/posts


14 posted on 10/24/2008 6:31:58 AM PDT by CSM (I see this election as a referendum on the stupidity of the American people" (Henkster))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I once had someone give me spaghetti in a zip-lock bag for halloween—they had run out of candy. No joke. The next day, they were power-spraying tomato sauce and noodles from their vinyl siding.


15 posted on 10/24/2008 6:37:07 AM PDT by killer_rat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CSM

16 posted on 10/24/2008 6:37:41 AM PDT by JRios1968 (Sarah Palin smash Hulk!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: killer_rat

Naughty, naughty. Do you feel shame for your actions?


17 posted on 10/24/2008 6:40:49 AM PDT by crusty old prospector
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Who started calling it this [fun size]? Since when is one bite fun?! Give us the rich houses with the sprawling driveways and full-sized candy bars any day. Portion control doesn't need to start this young.

Of course, the trade off is getting a lot of "fun size" candies with little walking between welcoming doors vs. getting one big candy bar, but having to walk several hundred metres between houses.

It is no fun to drag your 3 or 4 year old this far between houses. Besides, if one of the "fun sizes" should accidently disappear (smile), it won't be noticed. But the big bars, sadly, are always noticed when missing.

18 posted on 10/24/2008 6:41:24 AM PDT by mlocher (USA is a sovereign nation)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

You left off these yummy (NOT!) treats!............

19 posted on 10/24/2008 6:42:09 AM PDT by Red Badger (My wallet is made out of depleted you-owe-mium........)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: crusty old prospector

I suppose I do, looking back on it now. But still, who the hell gives out spaghetti for halloween?!


20 posted on 10/24/2008 6:43:54 AM PDT by killer_rat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: vietvet67

21 posted on 10/24/2008 6:52:53 AM PDT by Pan_Yan (All gray areas are fabrications.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

Comment #22 Removed by Moderator

To: killer_rat
Hey, I was the older kid at the house next door throwing eggs and water balloons at the revelers. Just like the Spaghetti Warehouse - they had it coming!
23 posted on 10/24/2008 6:54:40 AM PDT by crusty old prospector
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: JRios1968

Whew! Thanks.


24 posted on 10/24/2008 6:55:14 AM PDT by CSM (I see this election as a referendum on the stupidity of the American people" (Henkster))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Baynative

Yikes, you expecting me to learn something on a day that is reserved for silliness? ;-)

Actually, I always internally debate as to whether I want to become proficient at posting. I only have computer access while at work and as a result I don’t want to dedicate to much time to FR.


25 posted on 10/24/2008 6:57:07 AM PDT by CSM (I see this election as a referendum on the stupidity of the American people" (Henkster))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: ErnBatavia

expect to find them shoved under your tires for the next month :P


26 posted on 10/24/2008 7:04:18 AM PDT by absolootezer0 ( Detroit: we're so bad, even our mayor is a criminal)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
2 Days to finish this thing.


27 posted on 10/24/2008 7:10:49 AM PDT by TexasCajun
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Turtles.


28 posted on 10/24/2008 7:11:08 AM PDT by Califreak (As seen on TV: S.A.R.A.H!-Sane Americans R Against Hussein-Obama!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I think we should take all the candy from all the kids and pass it back out equally. We can call it.....redistributing the candy!


29 posted on 10/24/2008 7:13:24 AM PDT by rfreedom4u (My Freedom of speech trumps your feelings!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Did you ever get any of these in your trick or treat bag?

30 posted on 10/24/2008 7:15:28 AM PDT by girlscout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: ErnBatavia

HAHAHAHA!!!!! How do you like your eggs?


31 posted on 10/24/2008 7:18:13 AM PDT by girlscout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Pan_Yan

LOL! Perfect..


32 posted on 10/24/2008 7:19:22 AM PDT by vietvet67
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: TexasCajun

That can be a crown-grabber....


33 posted on 10/24/2008 7:20:45 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Pretending the Admin Moderator doesn't exist will result in suspension.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: killer_rat

Now that’s funny!

Apples were the curse in my day. As soon as the door closed we’d launch them towards the heavens to get that pleasurable splat.


34 posted on 10/24/2008 7:22:25 AM PDT by vietvet67
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Tricks to avoid:

35 posted on 10/24/2008 7:25:09 AM PDT by SmithL (Drill Dammit!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Tricks to avoid:

36 posted on 10/24/2008 7:25:25 AM PDT by SmithL (Drill Dammit!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket
37 posted on 10/24/2008 7:28:24 AM PDT by girlscout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

Photobucket
38 posted on 10/24/2008 7:31:41 AM PDT by girlscout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: ShadowAce

hEY!! tURN OFF YOUR caps lock!!!!


39 posted on 10/24/2008 7:32:10 AM PDT by fredhead (Obama wants to kill babies and raise taxes. Palin wants to kill taxes and raise babies.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

Photobucket
40 posted on 10/24/2008 7:33:52 AM PDT by girlscout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: TexasCajun
Let's help the little kids pick up a nasty and deadly habit.

Remember these?

Hey! I just learned about paragraph breaks!!!!

41 posted on 10/24/2008 7:39:21 AM PDT by fredhead (Obama wants to kill babies and raise taxes. Palin wants to kill taxes and raise babies.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

You should never consume alcohol while doing calculus. It’s not smart to drink and derive.


42 posted on 10/24/2008 7:39:26 AM PDT by DaveLoneRanger (Don'cha wish your VP was HAWT like OURS?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen; andyandval
Photobucket
43 posted on 10/24/2008 7:39:46 AM PDT by synbad600
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CrazyJoeDivola

Some guy shot some kids for TPing his yard the other day. He thought they were trying to break in. They actually only charged him with a misdemeanor.


44 posted on 10/24/2008 7:40:23 AM PDT by DaveLoneRanger (Don'cha wish your VP was HAWT like OURS?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: TexasCajun
Here's more.....


45 posted on 10/24/2008 7:40:46 AM PDT by fredhead (Obama wants to kill babies and raise taxes. Palin wants to kill taxes and raise babies.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: synbad600
Photobucket
46 posted on 10/24/2008 7:40:54 AM PDT by synbad600
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

The other day I was listening to an instrumental track called “Cry of the Blue Whale” with my sister in the car. I explained to her that whales don’t actually cry.

They blubber.


47 posted on 10/24/2008 7:41:02 AM PDT by DaveLoneRanger (Don'cha wish your VP was HAWT like OURS?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I disagree - I always liked hard candies. But, the worst thing ever has to be religious pamphlets, cause either you already adhere to that religion and have no use for them, or you don’t and you aren’t interested. However, I don’t mind as long as they’re given out along with candy, not instead of them. The best thing was senior year, some friends and I were out, and the guy ran out of candy so he gave us handfuls of spare change, and not just pennies, but everything. Oh, I love rich neighborhoods...

As a side note, my mom gave out those fun-sized bags of doritos and cheese puffs and stuff for a few years, and the kids LOVED them. Now, we moved, and we get a few hundred trick-or-treaters at our house every year, so we just buy the cheapest candy we can find, but since the houses are all either very close together or give out full-sized candy and bubbles and other fun loot, nobody feels slighted.


48 posted on 10/24/2008 7:44:29 AM PDT by Hyzenthlay (Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: fredhead

Cab driver to lady getting out:

“No charge, lady, you did most of the driving.”


49 posted on 10/24/2008 7:45:26 AM PDT by DaveLoneRanger (Don'cha wish your VP was HAWT like OURS?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Hmm....Candy Corn.
50 posted on 10/24/2008 7:51:45 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass ("Annoy the media, elect PALIN and McCAIN....errr....McCAIN / PALIN.....McPALIN" 8^)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-100101-150 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson