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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
Posted on 02/20/2009 4:47:26 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Cue music ~ (Pink Floyd - Money)
California is in the hole for $42 billion, so a budget has been proposed. Im no financial expert, but when you have no money, and no prospects of making money, and you owe $42 billion, youre way beyond putting yourself on a budget. I think youre looking at faking your own death. People say the problem with the budget is that they dont understand whats in it. Well of course they dont. Look whos explaining it to them Arnold Schwarzenegger!
President Obama signed the stimulus bill in Denver, Colo. He picked Denver because our debt is now a mile high. Its symbolic.
Terrible economy. Terrible. If you have any money left, do what I do: Invest in foreclosure signs.
Even Donald Trump has said he would like to reduce his debt. I say, How about reducing the size of that thing on your head?
Obama has addressed two of the three problems he said he would to avert a financial crisis . . . the first was to get the stimulus package passed, the second was the housing crisis, and the third is to get all of us to eat our pets.
Things are bad in California. Gov. Schwarzenegger has done everything he can to get fellow Republicans to back his plan because it involves a tax increase. He told them hed be back; hes said, Hasta la vista, baby; he even threatened to terminate them.
Reports say that President Obama is moving towards the Swedish models of banking. A president moving towards Swedish models? That hasnt happened since the Clinton administration.
Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas 10. Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something
9. Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler
8. Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"
7. Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors
6. Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits
5. Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso
4. Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy
3. Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products
2. Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"
1. Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit Obama's national debt." -- Tip o'the hat to Herbert Hoover
Based on his performance in office so far, President Obama should do just fine on his future tax returns. After all, he will be able to write off his second term.
It's too bad that we can't buy stock in the federal tax system. With Obama as president that will be only thing sure to go up.
President Obama is angrily calling for more federal tax increases. He just heard from his advisors that some American taxpayers weren't completely broke yet.
The best things in life are free but President Obama's tax advisors are working hard trying to solve that problem.
Barack Obama isn't planning on buying TurboTax®. Obama can turbo charge our taxes all by himself.
President Obama's tax return should list Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright as dependents.
President Obama plans to start printing income tax forms on Kleenex, so it will be easier for us to pay through the nose.
President Obama has just announced that he has a new plan to simplify the tax code. From now on only the Republicans will have to have to pay any taxes.
Q. Who should be listed as the most expensive dependent on your tax return?
A. President Obama.
President Obama will make it a lot easier for most people to do their income taxes next year. No jobs, no income.
Under Obama everyone in America will be working for the government. Democrats will be on the payrolls and Republicans will be on the tax rolls.
In the interest of full disclosure, President Obama's should declare all of the fawning media coverage he's received so far as a gift on his tax return.
Despite what some people are claiming, this country is just as free under the Obama presidency as it ever was . . . unless you happen to be a taxpayer.
If President Obama listed free enterprise on his tax return, it would have to be listed as a liability. That's because he just writes it off.
Today the IRS released new guidelines on how to avoid audits while Obama is the president. Number one - Don't list excessive deductions. Number two - File your return on time. Number three - Register to vote as a Democrat.
Judging by his wild spending so far, President Obama has apparently decided that it is easier to trim the taxpayers than to trim federal spending.
Don't think of it as paying more taxes. Think of it as giving Obama a big tip.
Thanks to President Obama we will become a more honest people. Once we're all jobless there won't be any point in lying on our tax returns.
Next year's "stimulus" tax return will fit on a postcard.
* How much money did you make?
* Mail it in.
President Obama intends to reward ambition. With higher taxes.
Now that Obama is the President you can still get ahead if you get up early in the morning, work late every day and hit the lottery.
TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: money; ofst; silliness; stimulus
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You Are 45% Likely to Survive Another Great Depression |
Your habits are pretty on par with the average person. Unfortunately, this means your chances aren't good in another Great Depression.
Start saving your money now. Living in debt isn't doing you any favors. Also figure out how to live a little more cheaply. Every little bit you can trim will help. |
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; ...
~ CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST ~
2
posted on
02/20/2009 4:49:26 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Obama destroying America...it sickens me people still think he is great and r so completely blind)
To: Lucky9teen
HELP! I’m being stimulated!
3
posted on
02/20/2009 4:52:18 AM PST
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: Lucky9teen
4
posted on
02/20/2009 4:52:55 AM PST
by
CholeraJoe
(Always pack the heat. Always pack the heat. Always pack the heat.)
To: Lucky9teen
5
posted on
02/20/2009 4:54:11 AM PST
by
Bon mots
To: Lucky9teen
6
posted on
02/20/2009 4:55:12 AM PST
by
Bon mots
To: Lucky9teen
7
posted on
02/20/2009 4:56:21 AM PST
by
RandallFlagg
(Satisfaction was my sin)
To: Lucky9teen
Last one.
8
posted on
02/20/2009 4:56:53 AM PST
by
Bon mots
To: Lucky9teen
9
posted on
02/20/2009 4:57:07 AM PST
by
WakeUpAndVote
(INGSOC starts 1.20.09)
To: Lucky9teen
Humor is a great approach to this nightmare we're in.
The devil hates to be mocked with our laughter.
10
posted on
02/20/2009 4:58:05 AM PST
by
Allegra
To: Lucky9teen
Thanks for the giggles! Humor really is the best medicine :)
11
posted on
02/20/2009 4:59:54 AM PST
by
mewzilla
(In politics the middle way is none at all. John Adams)
To: Lucky9teen
You Are 65% Likely to Survive Another Great Depression |
Even though you may not be expecting the worst, you're the type of person who prepares for the worst. You live a relatively modest life. You don't overspend, and you aren't very materialistic.
You are also quite self sufficient and independent. You have many useful skills. You can take care of yourself and those you love... which is crucial to surviving another Great Depression. |
12
posted on
02/20/2009 5:02:16 AM PST
by
Pan_Yan
(America has proved it's not racist. Now it needs to prove it's not suicidal.)
To: Allegra
What’s really fun is laughing at those who are uncomfortable now having voted for Obama. The buyer’s remorse is spreading faster than I have ever seen.
“Point and laugh, children.”
13
posted on
02/20/2009 5:03:53 AM PST
by
RandallFlagg
(Satisfaction was my sin)
To: Lucky9teen
You Are 61% Likely to Survive Another Great Depression |
Even though you may not be expecting the worst, you're the type of person who prepares for the worst. You live a relatively modest life. You don't overspend, and you aren't very materialistic.
You are also quite self sufficient and independent. You have many useful skills. You can take care of yourself and those you love... which is crucial to surviving another Great Depression. |
14
posted on
02/20/2009 5:05:24 AM PST
by
WakeUpAndVote
(INGSOC starts 1.20.09)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
16
posted on
02/20/2009 5:23:31 AM PST
by
Sax
To: Allegra; Lucky9teen
17
posted on
02/20/2009 5:24:00 AM PST
by
Arrowhead1952
(Each "Yea" vote for porkulus is equivalent to $3,267,973,850. (D) = corruption)
To: Lucky9teen; RandallFlagg; Arrowhead1952
You Are 69% Likely to Survive Another Great Depression |
Even though you may not be expecting the worst, you're the type of person who prepares for the worst. You live a relatively modest life. You don't overspend, and you aren't very materialistic.
You are also quite self sufficient and independent. You have many useful skills. You can take care of yourself and those you love... which is crucial to surviving another Great Depression. |
18
posted on
02/20/2009 5:37:31 AM PST
by
Allegra
To: Lucky9teen
..just a joke:
-—— WITTY IRISH PRIEST
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas .. Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station......
The conversation went like this:
‘’Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?’’
‘’And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann ‘s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of the matter?’’
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, repl ied with a smirk, ‘’Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!’’
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment...........................................
Father O’Malley then replied: ‘’Aye, ‘tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.’’
19
posted on
02/20/2009 5:39:25 AM PST
by
Doogle
(USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
To: Lucky9teen
You Are 71% Likely to Survive Another Great Depression |
Even though you may not be expecting the worst, you're the type of person who prepares for the worst. You live a relatively modest life. You don't overspend, and you aren't very materialistic.
You are also quite self sufficient and independent. You have many useful skills. You can take care of yourself and those you love... which is crucial to surviving another Great Depression. |
20
posted on
02/20/2009 5:44:36 AM PST
by
Rightly Biased
(Gentlemen, please. Rest your sphincters.)
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