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Posted on 11/23/2009 7:31:42 AM PST by SeekAndFind
So efforts by scientists to re-create the big bang — that moment, if one can speak of a moment, as in time, before there was time, or at least a decent wristwatch, when energy, or some hot gooey primordial stuff, spewed out a burgeoning universe, eventuating in the birth of galaxies, the advent of life, and the eventual cancellation of Charles in Charge — have failed once again.
It seems that the quixotic quest to find Higgs Boson, once thought to be the front man for an Air Supply tribute band, but which turns out to be the “God” particle,” has come to a crumbling halt.
First, about a year ago, the Large Hadron Collider (not to be confused with the Medium Hadron Collider and Omnidirectional Shower Head) went phffffff when, shortly upon whiz-banging, hydrogen began to leak from its cooling thingee, ruining a good pair of chinos and an autographed picture of Carol Channing.
Now, after months of grueling repair work by the finest minds that could be found on Craigslist, the whole epic venture to determine how matter attains mass, or why matadors go to Mass, or some such thing, I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention, has gone kablooey once again.
Turns out a piece of French bread gummed up the works.
Yes. French bread.
And that’s not the weird part.
As the narrator of this CNN piece relates:
According to two physicists, the culprit could be the Higgs-Boson Particle traveling back in time to destroy itself.
I hate when that happens.
One of those physicists, a man with three names and a thick foreign accent, and not one of those mad-scientist accents either, but more like that of a maitre’d at a bad fusion restaurant, said, “It would look as if the future has an influence on what happens today or yesterday.”
Which would explain my VISA bill. But I digress.
The narrator continued:
Dr. [THREE NAMES] says it looks like the Higgs Boson Particle may be so abhorrent to nature that it rippled back in time to sabotage the machine that created it.
But why French bread, when a bag of gummi bears would have proved just as effective? Unless Higgs Boson is a diversion, and some French saboteurs from the future have deliberately screwed things up, envious of others’ potential achievement. (You know how they get …)
In any event, judge for yourself:
CLICK ABOVE LINK FOR THE VIDEO...
I know what you’re thinking: this is CNN, and so this has to be a put-on. Or just wrong. And to be honest, French people from the future I’ve spoken to deny having anything to do with this. But they would, then, wouldn’t they? And I suppose the Belgians had nothing to do with the waffle that was found in the gene splicer at MIT’s Lab 40. Saw that on CNN too.
*ping*
I read about this next year.
They don’t know it, but they are on the verge of creating another completely new universe. It will seem tiny to us, but....
This is how some intelligent being created our universe 13 billion years ago in our time and .02 milliseconds ago of our creators time. And the being before that created them the same way. And the being before that........
(Any way you cut it, it takes a pretty stout dose of faith to believe that an infinite amount of mass contained in an infinately tiny amount of space went BANG and here we are.)
Felled by a Frenchman from the future?
Jean-Luc Picard, perhaps??
space and time are created as the universe expands.
its impossible for me to understand a natural non divine
cause for this.
LOLOLOL!
its impossible for me to understand a natural non divine cause for this
1. Get a physics degree
2. Try again
Its those jealous Texans. Theirs was bigger and then.....
ok genius, explain it to me.
I’m just saying.
You said you couldn’t imagine it.
I’m just saying if you had a physics degree, you could imagine it.
Even less than that, just read some good popularizations of Big Bang theory.
I’m not saying that makes it “true”. I’m just saying such things would go a long way to addressing your admitted inability to imagine it.
1. Get a physics degree
2. Try again
Or re-define "divine".
If you are a person of faith, you will find much in these books to delight you. I'm sure you know that providing a scientific explanation for how the universe got started doesn't preclude a belief in God, as many theoretical physicists do. Some people just like more of an explanation than "Let there by light."
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