Posted on 10/19/2011, 8:14:39 PM by nickcarraway
A man who had stolen a cucumber jumped from the second floor of a shopping mall in a bid to escape his pursuers and unfortunately plunged to his death.
Shocked shoppers at the Southgate Mall watched in horror as the man lay dead on the ground floor.
Police said the man was detained by security guards at the mall after he was caught stealing a “farm-fresh green cucumber from Woolies”.
“He was then detained by security, in the control room and later the police came to pick him up. On the way out, the suspect then threw himself off the top floor, and died on the scene,” said police spokesperson Bert Otto, who couldn’t believe the situation himself.
Otto said the identity of the “cucumber thief” was yet to be determined.
Tshepo Nkwana, 21, who was out shopping with friends, said the sight of the dead man lying on the ground was traumatising.
“I had never seen anything like that, we were just strolling around the mall when we heard the sound of something falling on to the floor.”
“When I took a second glance and the floor was covered in blood, we saw there was a man on the floor. That’s when everyone noticed and ran to see what was going on,” he said.
Molatelo Shai an employee at the mall, who witnessed the fall, said the man died a sad death.
“How can someone sacrifice their life for a vegetable?” asked Shai, who works for Nedbank.
Minutes after the fall, the photo of the dead man was circulating on social networks across the country.
That must be one helluva cucumber!
Had to be a vegan, those crazy ba$tards! /sarc
I hope it wasn't Otter.
Two lesbians at a supermarket yesterday afternoon were buying an English cucumber. “Let’s get one to eat, too,” I overheard one say to the other.
"..it's perfrickry queer to me"
Ping
Hendrick’s Recommends:
2.5 parts gin
.5 parts dry vermouth
1 cucumber slice
Stir in a mixing glass and strain in a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a cucumber.
Did he also steal a condom?
Made the wrong choice in trying to get out of that pickle.
Those look like zuchinis, not cucumbers.
Some lines from movies are eternal. “Mine’s bigger.”
Last words: “Damn fine cucumbers!...I’d jump two stories for these!”
>> after he was caught stealing a “farm-fresh green cucumber”
Maybe the punishment for stealing a “farm-fresh, green cucumber” is a lot worse than if you steal a regular old cucumber and he was driven to suicide by dispair.
If it had been an “organically grown, sun-drenched, free roaming, farm-fresh, green cucmber” they may have shot him on the spot.
“You’ll never take me alive, coppers!”
He probably watched too many movies where people are jumping off of stuff and getting away. Hindsight being 20/20... he probably should have tried working his way up to two stories. When I was a child my cousin and I pretended we were paratroopers and jumped from ever higher parts of my grandma’s roof until we worked our way up to a couple stories. Of course we only weighed about 60 pounds and she put a stop to it when she caught us.
not another cucumber death, what’s the count up to?
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