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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 06/07/2013 6:16:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Is everyone ready for summer?



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; ofst; silliness; summer
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Come on in.....the water is real warm


1 posted on 06/07/2013 6:16:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

Woohoo!! Finally made it in before the ping!!!


2 posted on 06/07/2013 6:16:37 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top Ten!

Good Morning!


3 posted on 06/07/2013 6:16:57 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Lucky9teen

Yes! Need silliness.....Zero and some chinaman coming to our valley today - road closures abound.


4 posted on 06/07/2013 6:17:44 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Piffle....)
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To: Lucky9teen

bttt


5 posted on 06/07/2013 6:18:02 AM PDT by bmwcyle (People who do not study history are destine to believe really ignorant statements.)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

SUMMER




CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


6 posted on 06/07/2013 6:18:11 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen
TOP TEN!!!!!
7 posted on 06/07/2013 6:18:35 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Rummyfan

yoop


8 posted on 06/07/2013 6:19:07 AM PDT by AppyPappy (Obama: What did I not know and when did I not know it?)
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To: Lucky9teen
the water is real warm

Not to mention somewhat multi-colored....

9 posted on 06/07/2013 6:19:10 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Piffle....)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP TEN!!!


10 posted on 06/07/2013 6:19:24 AM PDT by RandallFlagg (IRS = Internal Revenge Service)
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To: Lucky9teen

Days of Soda and Pretzels and Beer.
And another epic Pittsburgh Pirates collapse.


11 posted on 06/07/2013 6:19:26 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Lucky9teen
It's almost summer, have some ice cream!


12 posted on 06/07/2013 6:21:12 AM PDT by PROCON (Never underestimate the power of low information voters in large numbers.)
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To: ErnBatavia
This issue is real

13 posted on 06/07/2013 6:21:12 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

He might be dead and bloating in the sun.
14 posted on 06/07/2013 6:21:19 AM PDT by Berlin_Freeper
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To: Lucky9teen
Is everyone ready for summer?

I just swapped my riding gloves for the fingerless ones this morning. We're expecting 91 degrees (F) today in the Treasure Valley. (I usually commute on a bicycle.)

So, yes, I'm ready for summer!

:^)

15 posted on 06/07/2013 6:22:57 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: PROCON

16 posted on 06/07/2013 6:23:05 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

Panks for the thing every Friday!

Cheers,
Jim


17 posted on 06/07/2013 6:26:05 AM PDT by gymbeau (Tagline too lame (er, physically challenged) to include.)
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To: Lucky9teen

18 posted on 06/07/2013 6:28:01 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
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To: Disambiguator
Here's my forecast today...ugh

112°

HIGH

19 posted on 06/07/2013 6:28:48 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: N. Theknow

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called “after dark” when it is really “after light”?

12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
I dunno, why do we?


20 posted on 06/07/2013 6:30:15 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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President Obama Astounded to Discover that He is Married

IN OTHER NEWS:

Obama discovers ear...

Obamas ear 2.jpg

21 posted on 06/07/2013 6:31:26 AM PDT by Heartlander (Practice makes perfect if you mess up a few letters)
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To: Lucky9teen

22 posted on 06/07/2013 6:32:53 AM PDT by relictele (A place dedicated to economic, racial and social equality. It was called Jonestown.)
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To: Lucky9teen

It cooled off this week here in Gotham.

Last week it was so hot that I saw a dog chasing a squirrel in the park and they were both walking.


23 posted on 06/07/2013 6:33:03 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: PROCON

Not from BJ Ice Cream you won’t. Not with a liberal on the label, anyway.


24 posted on 06/07/2013 6:34:07 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: Lucky9teen
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

In Heaven.

And it's a comedy.

And the audience is in stitches ALL THE TIME.

25 posted on 06/07/2013 6:36:31 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: Berlin_Freeper; Lucky9teen
He might be dead and bloating in the sun.

No, no, you're wrong, he's beached himself! There's been a mass beaching at the pier!

Help me push these magnificent creatures back to the sea where they belong!

SAVE THE WHA... hold it...

26 posted on 06/07/2013 6:38:41 AM PDT by Old Sarge (My "KMA List" is growing daily...)
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To: relictele
Well I was floating down
The old Green River on the good ship, Rock 'n' Rye.
Well, we drifted too far
Got stuck on a bar
I was out there alone
Wishing I was home.
Well, the ship went down
With her captain and crew
Was only one thing that I could do.
I had to drink that whole Green River dry
To get back home to you.

To really get the humor visit this site.

27 posted on 06/07/2013 6:39:12 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: ErnBatavia

Looks like a bowl of human fruit-loops.


28 posted on 06/07/2013 6:41:02 AM PDT by k4gypsyrose
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To: relictele

Amsterdam???


29 posted on 06/07/2013 6:45:23 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: PROCON

I’ve boycotted Ben & Jerry’s for years, but if they ever actually came out with this flavor I wouldn’t hesitate to buy it.


30 posted on 06/07/2013 6:53:15 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Some people take there grammar way to seriously.)
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To: Lucky9teen

“1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?”

Lucas once made a vacuum cleaner. It’s the only product they ever offered that didn’t suck.

The three-position Lucas switch - dim, flicker and off.

The other three-position Lucas switch - smoke, smolder and burn.

Someone once told Joseph Lucas his electrical components suffered from short circuits. His solution: longer wires.

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
A: Because they have Lucas refrigerators.

Anyone who’s ever owned a British car will know what I’m talking about. :)


31 posted on 06/07/2013 6:56:14 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Some people take there grammar way to seriously.)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP....something.


32 posted on 06/07/2013 6:57:44 AM PDT by Monkey Face (Life is hard. It's harder if you're stupid. ~~ John Wayne)
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To: Lucky9teen
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?

I don't understand... doesn't everyone stand in support of their team?

33 posted on 06/07/2013 6:59:00 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: Lucky9teen

“23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?”

For that matter, why is “monosyllabic” such a long word?


34 posted on 06/07/2013 7:00:17 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Some people take there grammar way to seriously.)
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To: Lucky9teen
NSA Theme Song?

Sting

"Every Breath You Take"

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you


Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you

35 posted on 06/07/2013 7:00:24 AM PDT by TomGuy (.)
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To: r-q-tek86

Well, it makes sense that sitting in stands would make sense to an architect.


36 posted on 06/07/2013 7:01:15 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: Lucky9teen

From an old Gunsmoke episode, Doc asks Festus why he didn’t learn to read. Festus replies:

“If I was to learn to read writin’, how would I know that the person that was writin’ the writin’ was writin’ the writin’ right? I might be reading wrong writin’, don’t you see?”


37 posted on 06/07/2013 7:05:30 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Mom used to get really mad at Dad for his procrastination, especially if he was watching something on T.V. Remember in those days there was no cable, no remote, and we got exactly 3 channels. But it held Dad in thrall when it was on. So she would ask him to do something and he would tell her he would do it in couple of secs and he would forget and they would fight.

One day she called into the den (no “man cave” in those days) and said, “Honey, can you take the trash out?” He answered, as usual, “Just a couple of secs, dear.”

Well, Mom had had it. She shouted at the top of her lungs, “Secs, secs, secs. I’m sick of you and your secs. It’s never anything but secs with you.”

Unfortunately, I had just walked in the door with my friend.

I’ve never lived that one down.


38 posted on 06/07/2013 7:05:38 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: ArGee

My boss was a fence contractor in a previous life. He has nothing positive to say of architects.


39 posted on 06/07/2013 7:07:06 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Some people take there grammar way to seriously.)
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To: ArGee

ROTFL!

Good one!!


40 posted on 06/07/2013 7:08:10 AM PDT by Monkey Face (Life is hard. It's harder if you're stupid. ~~ John Wayne)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

I have to disagree with the British car electrical problems. I had a 74 Triumph Spitfire, the electrical system was the only thing that didn’t give me problems. Car lasted for 12 of the 18 payments and threw a rod.


41 posted on 06/07/2013 7:10:15 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: fredhead

IIRC, your Spit dates to around the time British Leyland was nationalized. Not sure your car throwing a rod was a coincidence...

There was a buddy of mine that had a ‘68 MGB and when the alternator went out he replaced it with one he pulled out of a Chrysler in a junkyard. He made the appropriate changes (mainly to make it play nice with a positive ground) and installed it.

When he was selling it, he had a prospective buyer who tried to knock a lot off his asking price because the alternator wasn’t original. My buddy’s response was: “So? It’s BETTER than the original!”

Apparently the original alternator in an MGB cannot keep the battery charged if you have the headlights on...


42 posted on 06/07/2013 7:19:19 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Some people take there grammar way to seriously.)
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To: fredhead

And BTW, Triumph is an acronym for “This Really Is Unreliable, Man, Please Help!”


43 posted on 06/07/2013 7:19:58 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Some people take there grammar way to seriously.)
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To: fredhead
Car lasted for 12 of the 18 payments and threw a rod.

Well, did you have to throw him to the NY Yankees? On top of abysmal hitting ever since he came here, now he's involved in a doping scandal.

Wait, you didn't say it threw A-ROD? Nevermind.

44 posted on 06/07/2013 7:20:49 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: Rummyfan

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/unlicensed-canalival-boozeup-leaves-trail-of-filthy-destruction-around-regents-canal-8641659.html


45 posted on 06/07/2013 7:26:26 AM PDT by relictele (A place dedicated to economic, racial and social equality. It was called Jonestown.)
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To: Lucky9teen

I didn’t know we are neighbors! Maybe you can come over for BBQ on the 4th? I use an electric grill in the kitchen because it has A/C.


46 posted on 06/07/2013 7:26:58 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
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To: All

47 posted on 06/07/2013 7:32:15 AM PDT by FlJoePa ("Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good")
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To: ErnBatavia
some chinaman coming to our valley today

Hou Lon is his name (question and statement).

48 posted on 06/07/2013 7:34:04 AM PDT by llevrok (How hot does the water need to get before the frog should jump out?)
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To: Cyber Liberty

They put AC on electric grills?!?!?!


49 posted on 06/07/2013 7:35:09 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: r-q-tek86

I will be you there are between 1 and 2 million people in those stands.


50 posted on 06/07/2013 7:40:05 AM PDT by llevrok (How hot does the water need to get before the frog should jump out?)
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