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Man Waking Up From Surgery Stunned by His Hot Wife
New York Magazine ^ | 9/10 | Dan Amira

Posted on 09/10/2013 11:01:26 AM PDT by nickcarraway

A man coming out of his hernia surgery and still under the influence of anesthesia was talking to a lady next to his bed when he realized just how hot she was.

"Man, you are eye candy," he says, cracker in hand. "WHOA. You may be the prettiest woman I've ever seen. Are you a model?"

Then he found out who she was: his wife of six years.

"You're my wife?" he says, his voice cracking. "Holy shit. Dang." He goes on like this for a while. "Oh my God, I hit the jackpot!"

Considering the range of possible reactions — You're my wife? Oh ... — this is literally the best one the wife could have ever hoped for. She's definitely going to spike his drinks with anesthesia on the reg from now on.


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Weird Stuff
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1 posted on 09/10/2013 11:01:26 AM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

Hahaha. Good story.


2 posted on 09/10/2013 11:03:21 AM PDT by b4its2late (A Liberal is a person who will give away everything he doesn't own.)
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To: nickcarraway

She probably sent him back to surgery for hitting on a stranger.


3 posted on 09/10/2013 11:03:25 AM PDT by AU72
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To: nickcarraway

LOL, I was waking up from surgery one time and I looked at the nurse and said, “You’re not Santa Claus!”


4 posted on 09/10/2013 11:04:49 AM PDT by Rusty0604
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To: nickcarraway

Sidebar, but it wouldn’t be surprising if certain patients coming out of a stupor at the hospital would think of naming ther new child- “Anesthesia”


5 posted on 09/10/2013 11:07:22 AM PDT by mikrofon (This guy is either in like Flynn, or a LOT of trouble ;)
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To: nickcarraway

Excellent!

Had an uncle who had surgery. When his wife arrived at the hospital, everyone said, “Oh, you’re the champ’s wife.”
Apparently he had claimed the was the middleweight boxing champion of the world and he was going to get out of those straps and kick everybody’s ass.”


6 posted on 09/10/2013 11:07:55 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: nickcarraway
I have been told that while coming around after surgery a nurse got careless and caused me some pain. I gave her a scalding that would make Lee Ermy proud.
7 posted on 09/10/2013 11:07:55 AM PDT by CrazyIvan (Obama phones= Bread and circuits.)
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To: nickcarraway

Must watch later


8 posted on 09/10/2013 11:08:01 AM PDT by Tenacious 1 (Waiting for next tagline.)
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To: nickcarraway
Yeah, good story until we find out she looked like this.


9 posted on 09/10/2013 11:08:22 AM PDT by Veggie Todd (Still crazy after all these beers.)
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To: nickcarraway

Does she like Pina Coladas?


10 posted on 09/10/2013 11:08:44 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: nickcarraway

LOL!!!

I’ve heard people say some hilarious stuff coming off anesthesia.

Good for them.


11 posted on 09/10/2013 11:11:18 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: nickcarraway

Nervous about getting put under, I woke up from surgery having my wisdom teeth out and I said out loud, “I am alive!”


12 posted on 09/10/2013 11:12:26 AM PDT by Slyfox (Without the Right to Life, all other rights are meaningless.)
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To: nickcarraway

Quite the natural attraction there I would say.


13 posted on 09/10/2013 11:14:03 AM PDT by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: nickcarraway

LOL. Anesthetic can be fun with normal people.

I was a young (large and strong) college football player(O-Line) when I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed. Apparently, following surgery, I insisted on seeing the teeth they removed. This was apparently problematic for them. Against policy, thrown away, unsanitary....I don’t recall the reason they originally denied my euphoric request. Apparently I was very effective at influencing their decision to re-think their original position. As one of the nurses (who I still see) later stated, “We weren’t sure if you really did intend to ‘completely renovate this office’, but Dr. XYZ suggested, in your current state, you were more than capable. So we went and found your teeth.”


14 posted on 09/10/2013 11:14:52 AM PDT by Tenacious 1 (Waiting for next tagline.)
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To: nickcarraway

A day after some extensive surgery, some doctors came in and said “Hey there, its us, how you doing?” I was like “Who the hell are you?”, they kinda chuckled and said, “Oh, that must be the (name of anesthetic)”.. apparently, I had completely forgotten about 15 minutes of my life before surgery. I have never recovered those moments. I just hope I was nice/funny/briliant/inspiring, etc... and that I DIDN’T hit on any nurses. I didn’t have the guts to ask them (almost literally),however. LOL


15 posted on 09/10/2013 11:15:06 AM PDT by Paradox (Unexpected things coming for the next few years.)
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To: Slyfox

LOL


16 posted on 09/10/2013 11:16:23 AM PDT by goat granny
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To: Tenacious 1

My GF is a doctor at Cedars Sinai. The latest one coming from surgery was the guy who had a herniated disc repaired and coming out of surgery, waking up told the surgeon “i love you all, is this heaven, i’m looking for hot chicks.”. This is considered “normal”..:)


17 posted on 09/10/2013 11:18:17 AM PDT by max americana (fired liberals in our company after the election, & laughed while they cried (true story))
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To: Slyfox
When I was coming out of anesthesia, I remember my surgeon shaking me gently and the only thing I said was....will I be able to get to the bathroom......(surg. on knee) he shook me again and was laughing and ask if I was OK, he got the same answer from me......will I be able to make it to the bathroom.....(we all have our priorities)
18 posted on 09/10/2013 11:20:54 AM PDT by goat granny
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To: Paradox

My father (who is a retired physician)was in the hospital for a kidney stone. When his doctor came by on rounds to see how he was doing, dad said “Well, doc, I was fine until I took a turn for the nurse”. He loved medical jokes unlike a number of doctors.


19 posted on 09/10/2013 11:21:44 AM PDT by PDGearhead (Obama's lack of citizenship)
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To: nickcarraway

self ping


20 posted on 09/10/2013 11:22:38 AM PDT by advertising guy ( Congress should not be afraid of Rush Limbaugh, Congress should be petrified of God)
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To: Slyfox
...I woke up from surgery having my wisdom teeth out and I said out loud, “I am alive!”

I woke up in zombie mode from that. I was wearing a pair of Raybans and had an Ace bandage wrapped all around my head- ostensibly to mitigate the swelling. I looked like a large, groggy version of the Invisible man. I wandered around the maxillofacial surgeon's office looking for somewhere to lie down. I finally found a place, and swept a few obstructions off onto the floor with my forearm that were left in the way. Later, my then-girlfriend came in to pick me up and burst out laughing when she appeared at the door, ushered in by a peeved-off surgeon.

I'd taken over the doctor's office, cleared off her desk and gone to sleep on it.

21 posted on 09/10/2013 11:23:56 AM PDT by Riley (The Fourth Estate is the Fifth Column.)
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To: Veggie Todd

Actually, if that is Helen THomas, she looks better since she died.


22 posted on 09/10/2013 11:25:57 AM PDT by ZULU (Barack Hussein Obama is the Lord of Misrule)
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To: nickcarraway

I want some pics of his hot wife.


23 posted on 09/10/2013 11:30:21 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (From time to time the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots.)
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To: Veggie Todd

Meine augen! Aiiiiieee!


24 posted on 09/10/2013 11:33:12 AM PDT by Noumenon (What would Michael Collins do?)
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To: Rusty0604

I thought the nurse was trying to kill me and started fighting with her.


25 posted on 09/10/2013 11:35:12 AM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: nickcarraway
Photo of him and his wife and she is hot!


26 posted on 09/10/2013 11:35:54 AM PDT by rochester_veteran (All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.)
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To: rochester_veteran; a fool in paradise

And the lady was heard saying: “Well, thank you very much, Captain Obvious!”


27 posted on 09/10/2013 11:37:43 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: nickcarraway

Am I the only skeptic? Wonder why the scene was being videotaped in the first place. And it seemed to go on too long.

Then he messed up and called her “Babe”, but quickly corrected himself with “is that what we call each other?”.

It’s cute and all, but I’m not a believer.


28 posted on 09/10/2013 11:38:06 AM PDT by EnquiringMind
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To: Veggie Todd

They said she was “married”, not “buried” to the man....


29 posted on 09/10/2013 11:38:25 AM PDT by Jumper
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To: rochester_veteran

He’s been married six years? He doesn’t look old enough to have gone to the senior prom.


30 posted on 09/10/2013 11:45:22 AM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

My wife becomes more and more attractive to me each day. Seriously. It’s kinda weird.


31 posted on 09/10/2013 11:47:35 AM PDT by golux
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To: Rusty0604

I walked into my brother in law’s hospital room after he had open heart surgery and he was in la la land. He turned to my sister and said “GG2 is the best sister in law in the world. She’s always so good to me” I thought I was in the wrong room. LOL!


32 posted on 09/10/2013 11:51:05 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: PDGearhead

About 15 years ago I had to have some surgery on my wrist. As I woke up in recovery the doctor was there with a big grin on his face. He told me that the anesthesiologist was talking to me as he prepared to “put me under”, and he asked me to tell him if I had a ringing in my ears. According to my doctor, I replied, “I went to the doctor and got the ringing fixed. Now I just have a dialtone.” The doctor told me they all got a good laugh as I slipped off into a nice sleep.


33 posted on 09/10/2013 11:51:17 AM PDT by Kharis13 (That noise you hear is our Founding Fathers spinning in their graves.)
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To: DannyTN
he was going to get out of those straps and kick everybody’s ass.”

Hubby did the same thing. I could hear the commotion all the way down the hall. He had run off every nurse and doctor around. No one wanted to go near him. They finally sent for me and were fluttering around asking if I would be ok with him. I still didn't have a clue what the heck they were so upset about until I walked into Recovery. They had moved out the other patients and a male nurse was cowering in the corner. Haha, I only had to tell him to be quiet and behave himself and that immediately put a stop to his ranting. The nurses still didn't trust him and kept peeking in asking if I was ok. As soon as he could sort of sit in a wheelchair, they got him to the car. It's still funny after all these years, lol. I won't say what I did in Recovery but hubby still thinks it's hilarious. I'm sure the nurse is still talking about it, too. Someone really should write a book about the crazy things patients say and do in Recovery.

34 posted on 09/10/2013 11:52:13 AM PDT by bgill (This reply was mined before it was posted.)
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To: nickcarraway

A good friend of mine was hitting on all the nurses in Recovery, with his wife sitting there next to him.

Luckily, she’s been a good sport about it.

The next day when I visited him, he was still on some pretty high-test drugs and thought I was George Washington. Very impressed to have me visit him. LOL


35 posted on 09/10/2013 11:58:42 AM PDT by Sherman Logan (Mark Steyn: "In the Middle East, the enemy of our enemy is also our enemy.")
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To: nickcarraway
"You're my wife?" he says, his voice cracking. "Holy shit. Dang." He goes on like this for a while. "Oh my God, I hit the jackpot!"

THEN, she opened her mouth......

36 posted on 09/10/2013 12:02:10 PM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

How sweet.


37 posted on 09/10/2013 12:03:13 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: Sherman Logan

My hubby had a head injury falling off a bike and had no memory for a few days. I was 9 months pregnant and every time he saw me, he knew me, but kept having a shock that I was pregant! “my God, you are pregnant, when did that happen!”


38 posted on 09/10/2013 12:05:36 PM PDT by cajungirl
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To: cajungirl

At least he didn’t ask you how it happened.


39 posted on 09/10/2013 12:09:21 PM PDT by Sherman Logan (Mark Steyn: "In the Middle East, the enemy of our enemy is also our enemy.")
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To: nickcarraway

That’s funny.


40 posted on 09/10/2013 12:14:48 PM PDT by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
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To: Slyfox
Nervous about getting put under, I woke up from surgery having my wisdom teeth out and I said out loud, “I am alive!”

When my stent was being inserted I was in a kind of twilight state, but I remember asking the doctors "are we having fun yet?"

41 posted on 09/10/2013 12:22:45 PM PDT by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed & water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS NOW & FOREVER!)
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To: nickcarraway

I’ve had surgery under general anesthesia several times. I hope I didn’t say any of the crazy $hit that’s been posted on this thread!


42 posted on 09/10/2013 12:26:19 PM PDT by Sans-Culotte ( Pray for Obama- Psalm 109:8)
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To: PDGearhead

‘’I get no respect.’’ “I told my doctor “Hey doc, every morning I wake up and look in the mirror I get sick!’’ “What’s the matter with me?’’ He said “I don’t know but your eye sights perfect’’.


43 posted on 09/10/2013 12:26:41 PM PDT by jmacusa (Political correctness is cultural Marxism. I'm not a Marxist.)
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To: nickcarraway

My Dad was in his 70’s and staying over a weekend to have ticker tests, one which required mild anesthesia, and when we left him at the hospital after the procedure he seemed to be resting comfortably.

Sometime during the night he escaped from his unit, and was found in the early hours of the morning cuddled up to a woman who was not his wife in another ward of the hospital.

He was a retired doctor who had worked in the hospital, so it gave the staff something to chuckle about. He was also a devout Mormon, and the bored Mormon housewives had something to titter about too. And of course, at home we were merciless, all about where he had been keeping his wild oats and what did Mom think about the other woman. He seemed to enjoy being the “object of scandal” LOL


44 posted on 09/10/2013 12:27:33 PM PDT by Anton.Rutter
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To: nickcarraway

I remember the story my mother told me when she was having me. They medicated her and from what the nurse told her. She was telling the doctor how much she loved him and grabbed his hand and blah blah LOL. Glad dad wasn’t there LOL


45 posted on 09/10/2013 12:30:34 PM PDT by Patriot Babe
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Smart dude.


46 posted on 09/10/2013 12:33:25 PM PDT by Gene Eric (Don't be a statist!)
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To: nickcarraway

Who video tapes anyone coming out of surgery?


47 posted on 09/10/2013 1:02:48 PM PDT by FrdmLvr
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To: FrdmLvr

“Who video tapes anyone coming out of surgery?”

Got my son on video before he went in for MRSA surgery. He was looped on Demerol and was singing, “Barney is a dinosaur from southern California.”


48 posted on 09/10/2013 1:12:05 PM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (Make today a great day. Insult a liberal.)
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To: Sherman Logan

Or who the father was.


49 posted on 09/10/2013 1:26:28 PM PDT by Freestate316 (Know what you believe and why you believe it.)
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To: DannyTN

I used to see that reaction from guys who were anesthetized with Jack Daniels.


50 posted on 09/10/2013 1:31:09 PM PDT by Freestate316 (Know what you believe and why you believe it.)
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