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Just got home from home-coming at church and this was in my e-mail
e-mail | September 29, 2012 | unknown

Posted on 09/29/2013 2:07:34 PM PDT by knarf

Enjoy


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: humor; somethingnice
You might have seen this before but it’s worth repeating.

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'.. She fooled them all .... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile. Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.

She replied , "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... Pick them up tomorrow.

1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

20 *Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!*

1 posted on 09/29/2013 2:07:34 PM PDT by knarf
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To: knarf

“5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. “

In other words: Passive/Aggressive, a personality defect. If you can’t tell the truth then just shut up.


2 posted on 09/29/2013 2:10:32 PM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: knarf

I’m gonna use #6 and #12!


3 posted on 09/29/2013 2:11:16 PM PDT by Old Sarge (Opinions are like orgasms: only mine count, and I couldn't care less if you have one...)
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To: knarf
18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

I LOVE that. So true.

4 posted on 09/29/2013 2:12:43 PM PDT by riri (Plannedopolis-look it up. It's how the elites plan for US to live.)
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To: CodeToad

yeah my MIL who was really mean used to say “interesting” as code for she thought you were a fruitcake

she could stir up trouble like nobody’s business but you could never pin it on her because she would act like “what did I do? I didn’t mean it like that.” what a b


5 posted on 09/29/2013 2:13:18 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: knarf

Number 18 has become my way of life. Enjoy the scenery while on an (unplanned) detour. I never did have the career I originally wanted, but I learned to find enjoyment and fulfillment in other ways.


6 posted on 09/29/2013 2:13:43 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: lee martell

Pretty much how I try to live my life.


7 posted on 09/29/2013 2:21:38 PM PDT by mountn man (The Pleasure You Get From Life Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It)
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To: knarf

Guess #15 must have been a X rated since it was deleted. :-)


8 posted on 09/29/2013 2:21:39 PM PDT by mupcat
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To: CodeToad

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

-Mark Twain-


9 posted on 09/29/2013 2:24:34 PM PDT by ontap (***)
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To: knarf

interesting list


10 posted on 09/29/2013 2:26:17 PM PDT by vladimir998
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To: mupcat

Never noticed ... I just e-mailed the e-mailer


11 posted on 09/29/2013 2:28:16 PM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: yldstrk

Nothing more dishonest as someone that uses “code” or tries to be “vague” when making a negative comment. As my mom would say, “If you can’t politely say something negative then you might want to find a less dishonest crowd to be with.”


12 posted on 09/29/2013 2:28:32 PM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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13 posted on 09/29/2013 2:32:09 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( ==> sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: smokingfrog

That is genius.


14 posted on 09/29/2013 2:36:55 PM PDT by Dysart (If you like your country, you can keep it.)
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To: riri
"18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. I LOVE that. So true."

We call detours and getting lost "taking the scenic route". Might as well enjoy them!

15 posted on 09/29/2013 2:36:57 PM PDT by Grammy (He frustrates the devices of the crafty, so that they cannot carry out their plans. Job 5:12)
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To: knarf

What!?! Nobody rooting for #20? That’s mine, for sure.


16 posted on 09/29/2013 2:38:03 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: riri

Re: enjoying the scenery on a detour that reminds me of a sermon I once heard called “Dwell with understanding”..A husband and wife are on a trip. He wants to make it to Phoenix before sundown with no potty breaks or stops. She wants to stop and look at the worlds largest jack rabbit on the way there. hehehehe! All married couples can identify with this. They go to the mall. The husband is hunting for the item. The wife wants to look at rings. The husband says “Why do you want to look at rings? You got a ring. I got a ring. Why are we looking at rings?” So..the minister said next time you are at the mall guys, stop and look at the rings. When on a trip, stop and give the kids a potty break and look at the worlds largest jack rabbit. Sooo funny.


17 posted on 09/29/2013 2:39:59 PM PDT by sheikdetailfeather (Yuri Bezmenov (KGB Defector) - "Kick The Communists Out of Your Govt. & Don't Accept Their Goodies.")
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To: CodeToad

wish my mil had been more like your mom. I like people that talk straight


18 posted on 09/29/2013 2:41:57 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: smokingfrog

I love that ;-)


19 posted on 09/29/2013 2:44:25 PM PDT by Jane Long (While Marxists continue the fundamental transformation of the USA, progressive RINOs assist!)
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To: CodeToad

“In other words: Passive/Aggressive, a personality defect.”

Well, I am an obsessive/compulsive perfectionist AND passive/aggressive and happen to think that both are blessings! ;-)


20 posted on 09/29/2013 2:55:01 PM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (Learn three chords and you, too, can be a Rock Star!)
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To: CodeToad

‘“5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. “

In other words: Passive/Aggressive, a personality defect. If you can’t tell the truth then just shut up.’

HAHAHAH GOOD ONE C/T...I ADMIRE A HARD NOSE GERMAN DUTCH MARINE LIKE MYSELF I SAY

‘BE BLUNT...IT WORKS EVERY TIME ON PEOPLE WORTH A TINKER’S %%IT...THE OTHERS...WELL BY DEF. THEY AINT WORTH A TINKES....AND IT’S A HULLUVA LOT OF FUN TO WOOL THEM AROUND....CARRY ON SOLDIER..


21 posted on 09/29/2013 3:02:26 PM PDT by jimsin
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To: smokingfrog

LOVE that picture.


22 posted on 09/29/2013 3:07:06 PM PDT by kitkat (STORM THE HEAVENS WITH PRAYERS FOR OUR COUNTRY.)
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To: Grammy

We call detours and getting lost “taking the scenic route”. Might as well enjoy them!


Yeah, I had one of those “taking the scenic route” moments. My wife and I were on a trip to upstate New York and had to be in the correct lane to go around Washington DC.

My wife was my co-pilot with the map so I asked her...”Which lane...which lane”?. She replied, “Oh I’m sorry, I was looking around, I’ve never seen Washington before”

We ended up in probably the most downtrodden areas of the city, boarded up gas stations and buildings and if wasn’t for a compassionate taxi driver that I asked for directions I don’t know how bad it could have turned out.

He said follow me and he guided me out and on back on the right track again.

The first rest stop I came to, I pulled in and told her. “Give me the damn map”


23 posted on 09/29/2013 3:11:48 PM PDT by RetSignman (Standing my ground against group think.)
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To: smokingfrog

Priceless.


24 posted on 09/29/2013 3:13:40 PM PDT by OldNewYork (Biden '13. Impeach now.)
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To: riri

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

HUH?

A TRULY HAPPY PERSON IS ONE WHOSE OBSERVED THE BASIC RULES FOR A HAPPY LIFE AND RETIRED WITH A BOATLOAD OF DOUGH...TO WIT:

1. USE DEFERRED GRATIFICATION
2. DOLLAR COST AVERAGE AS EARLY IN LIFE AS YOU CAN INTO A WIDELY DIVERSIFIED STOCK PORTFOLIO
3. UNDERSTAND AND USE THE TIME VALUE OF MONEY
4. GET A JOB WITH A PENSION THAT PROVIDES YOU WITH AT LEAST A 3% YEARLY COMPOUNDED COLA
5. READ AND GENERALLY LIVE YOUR LIFE BY WHATS CONTAINED IN THE FOLLOWING BOOK: PSSSST...IT DOESN’T HAVE 4/5 STARS REVIEWS STARS FOR NUTHIN’

Getting Rich In America: Eight Simple Rules for Building a Fortune—And a Satisfying Life by Dwight R. Lee, Richard B. Mckenzie and Eric Conger (Feb 16, 2000)

HERE’S THE AMAZON URL:

http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Rich-America-Fortune-—Satisfying/dp/0066619831/ref=sr_1_4/183-9986819-6063053?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1380492836&sr=1-4&keywords=dwight+lee


25 posted on 09/29/2013 3:17:26 PM PDT by jimsin
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To: OldNewYork

Bookmark


26 posted on 09/29/2013 3:18:11 PM PDT by morphing libertarian
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To: knarf
20 *Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!*

This actually isn't true anymore.

27 posted on 09/29/2013 3:20:42 PM PDT by Sirius Lee (All that is required for evil to advance is for government to do "something")
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To: spel_grammer_an_punct_polise

“passive/aggressive” is PC, which is why we are in a world of hurt these days.

Those that fail to achieve do not want others to point that out. If someone does a lousy job, we are supposed to be like Dr. Spock and not say they did a bad job but encourage better behavior.

Well, we’ve become so PC as to be so lazy as to never discipline anyone for anything. A 10 year old child could drop his pants, take a huge poop on the living room floor, and we are supposed to say, “Good boy! What a great poopy! Hopefully next time you can make it to the bathroom, hmmkay?”, instead of knocking that out of control kid into next week.


28 posted on 09/29/2013 3:24:30 PM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: lee martell

I concur.

My philosophy... It is not the destination that counts, it’s the ride. Enjoy it, savor it.


29 posted on 09/29/2013 3:57:05 PM PDT by esoxmagnum (The rats have been trained to pull the D voting lever to get their little food pellet)
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To: jimsin
4. GET A JOB WITH A PENSION THAT PROVIDES YOU WITH AT LEAST A 3% YEARLY COMPOUNDED COLA

You need to update this, as such a job is going to be as hard to find and keep as a unicorn for most folks. The first 3 steps cover the needed financial security steps, and the 4th is both unneeded and wrong.

The advice about pensions should be turned on its head: Don't put your job and your retirement in the same risk basket; don't trust an employer pension. That you lose pension rights when you lose a job makes an employer pension an very high risk investment.

30 posted on 09/29/2013 4:34:48 PM PDT by slowhandluke (It's hard to be cynical enough in this age.)
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To: yldstrk
yeah my MIL who was really mean used to say “interesting” as code for she thought you were a fruitcake

There's an old joke about two Jewish women who reunited after a long spell. One started bragging about the success of their business, their children, et al. After each sentence, the other woman would simply say "Fascinating!" and then the braggart would go on to new heights.

Finally the braggart ran out of talking points and asked what the other woman had done. She said she spent the last few years at a finishing school learning new social skills. "Like what?" the braggart asked. The other replied, "Like saying 'fascinating!' instead of 'bullsh!t.'"

31 posted on 09/29/2013 4:42:49 PM PDT by Oatka (This is America. Assimilate or evaporate.)
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To: slowhandluke

THE BOOK SMALL GRASSHOPPAH READ THE BOOK....THEN GET BACK TO ME


32 posted on 09/29/2013 5:00:53 PM PDT by jimsin
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To: riri

[18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

I LOVE that. So true.]

And on that detour be glad that even though you are lost, you are making good time.


33 posted on 09/29/2013 5:25:37 PM PDT by Islander2
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To: knarf

There are some words of wisdom in there.


34 posted on 09/29/2013 5:35:12 PM PDT by Verbosus (/* No Comment */)
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To: knarf

bump for later use


35 posted on 09/29/2013 5:49:14 PM PDT by Senator_Blutarski
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To: jimsin
Funny. I like it. I try not to think like that, I am mercenary enough as it is. (:
36 posted on 09/29/2013 5:50:56 PM PDT by riri (Plannedopolis-look it up. It's how the elites plan for US to live.)
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bts


37 posted on 09/29/2013 5:53:23 PM PDT by Clinging Bitterly (R.I P. my old FRiend and neighbor Blackie Owens. Be ever vigilant!)
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To: knarf

No big deal probably just forgot the number sequence.


38 posted on 09/29/2013 6:09:08 PM PDT by mupcat
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To: knarf

b


39 posted on 09/29/2013 9:01:57 PM PDT by cutty
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To: lee martell

I’m that guy. If I make a wrong turn, or get lost, I’ll go a ways, just to see what’s so interesting that there’s a road leading that direction. My wife? 100% opposite. It’s maddening - I’m telling her “relax, it’s a dirt road, in the middle of nowhere Florida, I’m sure the GPS knows where’s it’s leading us” - and she’s worried about Jason, or gators, or something.

That actually happened to me. I turned around, backtracked about 10 miles, and got on the toll road - only to cross over the exact dirt road we were just on. Cost us about 30 minutes, 20-25 miles, and lots of stress. Why? Because she wouldn’t relax and enjoy the orange grove.


40 posted on 09/30/2013 11:47:14 AM PDT by ro_dreaming (Chesterton, 'Christianity has not been tried and found wanting. ItÂ’s been found hard and not tried')
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To: ro_dreaming

Sometimes opposite attract. You both provide a sense of balance for the other.


41 posted on 09/30/2013 11:57:31 AM PDT by lee martell
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