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***THE FIRST OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD OF 2014***

Posted on 01/03/2014 7:05:30 AM PST by Lucky9teen


"Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." ~ Mark Twain

"Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account." – Oscar Wilde


"A new year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other." ~ Anonymous

"This year, let's resolve to make better bad decisions." – someecards


“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.” ~ Joey Adams

"May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!" – Aleister Crowley


"New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time." ~ James Agate

"You want me to spend more time with Dad? What about my New Year's resolution?" – Homer Simpson


"You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I'm only going to dread one day at a time." – Charlie Brown

"My New Year's resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds." – Nia Vardalos


Dear God, my prayer for 2014 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t mix these up like you did last year. ~ Anonymous

For my new year’s resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar. ~ Anonymous



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2014; ofst; silliness
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25 New Year’s Resolutions Every Person Should Actually Make For 2014
1 posted on 01/03/2014 7:05:31 AM PST by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP!! Woohoo!!


2 posted on 01/03/2014 7:05:46 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

Morning all/

IBTP.


3 posted on 01/03/2014 7:07:09 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Yay!!! IBTP


4 posted on 01/03/2014 7:09:07 AM PST by EQAndyBuzz ("The GOP fights its own base with far more vigor than it employs in fighting the Dims.")
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To: Lucky9teen

Heh. First top ten for me.


5 posted on 01/03/2014 7:09:41 AM PST by Scoutmaster (I'd rather be at Philmont)
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP!!


6 posted on 01/03/2014 7:09:45 AM PST by ErnBatavia (The 0baMao Experiment: Abject Failure)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION?




CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

Happy 2014
my fellow FReeper FRiends
!

7 posted on 01/03/2014 7:09:52 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

Friday! yay! Thanks Lucky for posting this, I actually forgot to be looking for it... :0


8 posted on 01/03/2014 7:10:42 AM PST by jag.drafting
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To: jag.drafting

I know, right. There was no OFST last week so....

Outta sight. Outta mind.


9 posted on 01/03/2014 7:13:01 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Lucky9teen

in!


10 posted on 01/03/2014 7:13:27 AM PST by Iron head mike (Phil is right.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 20.


11 posted on 01/03/2014 7:16:33 AM PST by RandallFlagg (IRS = Internal Revenge Service)
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To: Lucky9teen
 photo authcoid90252part2.gif
12 posted on 01/03/2014 7:17:09 AM PST by SkyDancer ("How Can People Ask Forgiveness If They Won't Forgive Others?")
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To: ShadowAce

13 posted on 01/03/2014 7:19:38 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future...


14 posted on 01/03/2014 7:23:39 AM PST by Heartlander (We are all Rodeo Clowns now!)
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To: Lucky9teen
Oldie, but goodie...


15 posted on 01/03/2014 7:24:06 AM PST by Slyfox (We want our pre-existing HEALTH INSURANCE back!)
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To: Lucky9teen

16 posted on 01/03/2014 7:24:26 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: SkyDancer
Which one is a best fit?

17 posted on 01/03/2014 7:24:44 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

             
                         gibsmedat !
18 posted on 01/03/2014 7:25:28 AM PST by tomkat
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To: Lucky9teen

I will repeat my resolution for the last several years......

I hereby resolve to MAKE NO OTHER RESOLUTIONS.

I haven’t broken my New Years resolution in years!!!!


19 posted on 01/03/2014 7:27:46 AM PST by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: BenLurkin

Why did they spell his name backwards only on his shirt?


20 posted on 01/03/2014 7:28:08 AM PST by Heartlander (We are all Rodeo Clowns now!)
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To: ShadowAce

21 posted on 01/03/2014 7:29:22 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

22 posted on 01/03/2014 7:30:49 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

23 posted on 01/03/2014 7:30:49 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Slyfox

24 posted on 01/03/2014 7:32:50 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

I resolve this year to do everything in moderation. So 2014 will be my year of excessive moderation…


25 posted on 01/03/2014 7:33:38 AM PST by Heartlander (We are all Rodeo Clowns now!)
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To: tomkat

26 posted on 01/03/2014 7:37:21 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Heartlander
Excessive moderation....

Reminds me of this

27 posted on 01/03/2014 7:45:21 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP 30?!? Happy New Year!


28 posted on 01/03/2014 7:48:19 AM PST by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is...sounding pretty good about now.)
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To: BenLurkin

29 posted on 01/03/2014 7:59:28 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRIGGIN HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
TGIF!


30 posted on 01/03/2014 7:59:41 AM PST by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 2014 of 2014


31 posted on 01/03/2014 8:01:49 AM PST by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen

For the win!

32 posted on 01/03/2014 8:09:55 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Heartlander

The same thing happened with his car, a Civic.


33 posted on 01/03/2014 8:11:25 AM PST by llevrok (Obama 2008 : "If you vote for me, you can keep your country")
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To: Lucky9teen

34 posted on 01/03/2014 8:12:02 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

35 posted on 01/03/2014 8:14:58 AM PST by Dead Corpse (I will not comply.)
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To: Liberty Valance

That boy looks as sharp as a bowling ball....


36 posted on 01/03/2014 8:17:08 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (H.L. Mencken: "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.")
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To: Lucky9teen

My new years resolution is to start getting ready for retirement. That will happen in September 2015. I can’t wait for that blessed day.


37 posted on 01/03/2014 8:18:53 AM PST by NCC-1701 (I am proud of what America USED TO BE.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Love Me Do - Flaco Jimenez & Buck Owens

38 posted on 01/03/2014 8:25:12 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

39 posted on 01/03/2014 8:26:16 AM PST by Dead Corpse (I will not comply.)
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To: Dead Corpse

40 posted on 01/03/2014 9:00:47 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

41 posted on 01/03/2014 9:17:20 AM PST by CtBigPat (Free Republic - The grown-ups table of the internet.)
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To: Lucky9teen

42 posted on 01/03/2014 9:22:33 AM PST by relentlessly
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To: Liberty Valance

43 posted on 01/03/2014 9:24:24 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen
STARDAY HILLBILLY A-Z PART 1
44 posted on 01/03/2014 9:28:49 AM PST by Berlin_Freeper (Mia San Mia)
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To: relentlessly

A doctor from France says: “In France, the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work.”

A German doctor comments quietly: “That’s nothing! In German, we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person’s head, and in 4 weeks, he is looking for work.”

A Russian doctor says boasting: “That’s nothing either! In Russia, we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person’s chest, and in 2 weeks, he is looking for work.”

The U.S. doctor laughs and answers loudly immediately: “That’s nothing, my colleagues...you are way behind us! In the USA, about 5 years ago, we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls...we made him President of the United States, and now, the whole country is looking for work!!!!”


45 posted on 01/03/2014 9:40:51 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Liberty Valance
Would that picture happen to have been taken in Ireland by any chance?
46 posted on 01/03/2014 9:47:09 AM PST by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day. " 2013: Mind the door handle on the way out!")
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To: Lucky9teen; Osage Orange
Credit to osage Orange

Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, "Harry, I have a plan to win back the hearts of voters in Middle America in 2014!"

"Great Nancy, but how?" asked Harry.

"We'll get some cheap, tacky clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the animal shelter and pick up a Labrador retriever.

Then, we'll go to a nice old roadhouse in Texas and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working middle-class people living there."

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Odessa, Texas. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?"

"Yes we are!" said Nancy, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color."

They ordered a round of Lone Star beer for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out.

A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Nancy asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"

"Oh, hell no," said the bartender. "Somebody's running around town tellin' folks there's a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!"

47 posted on 01/03/2014 9:47:45 AM PST by verga (Poor spiritual health oftern leads to poor physical and mental health)
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To: Liberty Valance

I can’t stop watching! lol


48 posted on 01/03/2014 9:49:35 AM PST by MissTed ( Private Tagline - Do Not Read!)
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To: Lucky9teen
new year funny photo: New Year Funny happy-nude-year.gif

fat cat photo: fat fat_dancing_cat.gif

fat cat photo: fat cat calledjenny.jpg

49 posted on 01/03/2014 9:56:21 AM PST by dragonblustar (Psalm 37:7)
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To: Lucky9teen




Touch Free Republic

50 posted on 01/03/2014 10:12:17 AM PST by Lady Jag (Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society. - Aristotle)
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