Skip to comments.Beware Of The 5 lb. Bag Of Sugarless Gummy Bears (Truncated)
Posted on 01/13/2014 4:42:09 PM PST by My hearts in London - Everett
Oh, gummy bears! Theyre so tasty and delicious you can never eat just one. In fact most of us eat them by the handful. And with diet season in full swing, some of us may be looking at the sugar-free alternative to help ease the gummy bear cravings.
But before you hop on Amazon to make a bulk purchase of the sugar-free variety, you just might want to read the safety warnings. Or better yet, take a look at the user submitted reviews. Weve compiled the best of the best for you here at Slightly Viral
This first review is so hilarious that I had tears coming from my eyes and was laughing so hard that I could barely breathe while I reading it to my daughter!
His book had a recipe for brownies. Excellent brownies! Brownies like you might eat too much of... with very similar results.
Axe me how I know...
I about fell out of my chair laughing.
I just visited Amazon, and sure enough, these reviews are real.
I thought Freepers might appreciate this one, which I found there:
“After reading the reviews I ordered several bags as gifts for some family members who voted for Obama. It worked as advertised!”
You are correct. I couldn’t finish reading the reviews as my laughter was causing a scene here at home.
I think it's the glycerin
I laughed so much my sides hurt! Tears also came out of my eyes.
Here are a few mild quotes:
” Be sure to get Oxyclean to get the ....stains out of your...ceiling fans”
“If I go and finish the bag off, I will probably leave a suicide note”
“I can now fit in the jeans I wore in High School”
Thanks for posting!! :)
but you don’t want to post it here?
Not a ping list
OMG!!!! You are SO right! That first review is INCREDIBLY funny.
“I think I lost a kidney!”
LOL LOL LOL
Might be useful when Metamucil just isn’t enough.
So THAT’s what Harry ate to cause him to have that toilet scene in Dumb and Dumber.
Thanks for the biggest laugh in months,
this thread will run and run, Bwahaha!
Gummi Worms > Gummi Bears.
They also work great on a silver spoon for pike and muskie. We found them better than Mr. Twisters from Bass Pro.
Plus, you can eat them while you sit in the boat!
Try that with a Pork Squigly!
I wonder if William SHATner likes these gummy bears?
now that there is funny! bags for congress is a great idea.
“And that, to my great chagrin, is why I didn’t immediately notice the difference between Haribo Normal Gummi Bears (which are designed for human enjoyment) and Haribo Sugarless Gummi Bears (which are designed for use in maximum security prisons as a way to punish uncooperative inmates).”
Great find. As one who had his gallbladder yanked a year ago (therefore more than subject so sudden 'explosiveness') I found myself feeling not-so-alone in the world....
Industrial strength humor here.
Japanese revenge for losing WW2?
Hilarious! Do not read this to a husband who is eating! Hubby sprayed his food all over the table and into my glass of tea. ROFLOL.
LOL My job here is done for the night! hehe
theres one sugar subsitute that affects me somewhat the same way...
It found in some brands of cough drops.
I think this tops the “Ryan’s Steakhouse” story. I laughed until I had to quit reading so I could breathe.
Importantly, this is a fairly common effect of some of the sugar alcohols. But a warning. One of the sugar alcohols, called Xylitol, is deadly to dogs. It is usually found in treats designed for diabetics, and it is harmless to humans, possibly causing diarrhea like other sugar alcohols if you eat too much of it.
Lollipops, syrups, cookie mixes, brownie mixes and jellies all may contain Xylitol. But because of its extreme toxicity to dogs, manufacturers do not list it as just another “sugar alcohol”, of which there are many, so the label will specifically say Xylitol.
“Once thought to cause only hypoglycemia in dogs, this sugar substitute has recently been discovered to also produce acute, possibly life-threatening liver disease, acute hepatic necrosis, hypokalemia, hypophosphatemia, and coagulopathy.”
“Toxic level are from as little as .1g/kg of the dog’s weight. After xylitol ingestion, vomiting is usually the initial sign. Hypoglycemia may develop within 30 to 60 minutes. However, in some cases of xylitol gum ingestion, hypoglycemia may be delayed for up to 12 hours. The clinical signs may progress rapidly from lethargy to ataxia, collapse, and seizure. Acute liver failure from 12 to 24 hours.”
“The lowest estimated dose associated with liver failure to date has been 0.5 g/kg.”
Oops! He made it to the bottom of his glass of tea before he noticed the rice precipitate awaiting reentry to his mouth.
Sugarless candies are composed of so-called non-nutritive sugars that taste sweet but which cannot be digested by enzymes in the gut. They are supposedly to pass harmlessly through one’s system, but are problematic when eaten to excess, and some people cannot tolerate even small amounts. Notably, if even a relatively small amount causes trouble, it can be a sign that one has a digestive disorder. Medical help should be sought to identify and treat the specific problem.
Thanks for that warning!
Oh my God! I am in tears from laughter and my sides hurt.
My wife and daughter came into my office to see why I was laughing so hard. That first review is priceless!
Thank you for the comedic diversion. It is greatly appreciated.
Sending a box to my Congressman now.
Bless the Maker and His water.
Bless the coming and going of Him.
May His passage cleanse the world, starting with my lower intestinal tract.”
It’s hard to ascertain the ingredients, but the offending one is Lycasin, aka ‘Malitol’.
Anyone with a diabetic in the family is familiar with this ingredient and its effects.
Fyi, it ‘is’ possible to ‘acclimate’ to the sugar alcohol by gradually introducing it to your system, not ‘shocking’ the system with a Gummy Bear overdose.
(still wiping tears from my eyes from laughing so damned hard...)
Suggestion: Stock up on these and hand-deliver ‘candy-baskets’ to all the Liberal ‘get out the vote’ campaigns this fall (without the package, of course).
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I am on page 7 of the reviews. Tears are running down my cheeks
What a riot.
Thank you, that was the best laugh I’ve had since October of 2008.
Pinging you to a very humorous distraction.
Everyone send a crate of these sugarless Gummy Bears all the alphabet gov’t departments (can’t name them) who make our lives so wonderful.
Sugar Free Gummies for all of them!
OMG...I'm dying. I can't stop...laughing. Typing is nearly...impossible. Must...stop...hit Post...
Those were great...hahahaha! I liked the one of laying in bed praying to fart. hahahaha!
Ryans Steakhouse story
What’s that about?
Nope. It's the Lycasin. Lycasin's known side effects in adults include bloating, intestinal gurgling or rumbling and flatulence. Some cases of severe intestinal distress have resulted from consuming excessive quantities of foods containing Lycasin.
Haribo is a German company. But your theory still holds water.
Forget it, he's rolling.
And here I thought I couldn’t laugh any more. Gotta log out...
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