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Beware Of The 5 lb. Bag Of Sugarless Gummy Bears (Truncated)
Slightly Viral ^ | January 8, 2014 | Ryan Jennings

Posted on 01/13/2014 4:42:09 PM PST by My hearts in London - Everett

Oh, gummy bears! They’re so tasty and delicious you can never eat just one. In fact most of us eat them by the handful. And with diet season in full swing, some of us may be looking at the sugar-free alternative to help ease the gummy bear cravings.

But before you hop on Amazon to make a bulk purchase of the sugar-free variety, you just might want to read the safety warnings. Or better yet, take a look at the user submitted reviews. We’ve compiled the best of the best for you here at Slightly Viral…


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Food; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: amazon; gummy; napl; review
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Original Title: Beware Of The 5 lb. Bag Of Sugarless Gummy Bears On Amazon.com – The Reviews Are Priceless!

This first review is so hilarious that I had tears coming from my eyes and was laughing so hard that I could barely breathe while I reading it to my daughter!

1 posted on 01/13/2014 4:42:09 PM PST by My hearts in London - Everett
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To: My hearts in London - Everett
ajaja I wont give away the punchlines

Thank you,




2 posted on 01/13/2014 4:51:58 PM PST by MeshugeMikey ( Help fight The Neo Stalinists! Donate to your Free Republic)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Hellbears


3 posted on 01/13/2014 4:53:11 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett
They must use sugar alcohol as a substitute.
Dr. Cruz uses that for his lo-carb diet and sugar alcohol is definitely something the body has to adjust to.

His book had a recipe for brownies. Excellent brownies! Brownies like you might eat too much of... with very similar results.

Axe me how I know...

4 posted on 01/13/2014 4:53:30 PM PST by grobdriver
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

I about fell out of my chair laughing.


5 posted on 01/13/2014 4:57:19 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

I just visited Amazon, and sure enough, these reviews are real.

I thought Freepers might appreciate this one, which I found there:

“After reading the reviews I ordered several bags as gifts for some family members who voted for Obama. It worked as advertised!”


6 posted on 01/13/2014 4:57:22 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

You are correct. I couldn’t finish reading the reviews as my laughter was causing a scene here at home.


7 posted on 01/13/2014 5:00:36 PM PST by liege (America 180)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett
Same problems with sugarless Cough Drops

I think it's the glycerin

http://www.drugs.com/sfx/glycerol-side-effects.html

8 posted on 01/13/2014 5:01:39 PM PST by HangnJudge
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

I laughed so much my sides hurt! Tears also came out of my eyes.

Here are a few mild quotes:

” Be sure to get Oxyclean to get the ....stains out of your...ceiling fans”

“If I go and finish the bag off, I will probably leave a suicide note”

“I can now fit in the jeans I wore in High School”

Thanks for posting!! :)


9 posted on 01/13/2014 5:01:43 PM PST by Redcitizen (Never bring a tank to a Chuck Norris fight.)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

but you don’t want to post it here?


10 posted on 01/13/2014 5:03:09 PM PST by Rio (Proud resident of the State of Jefferson)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Not a ping list


11 posted on 01/13/2014 5:04:37 PM PST by Redcitizen (Never bring a tank to a Chuck Norris fight.)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

OMG!!!! You are SO right! That first review is INCREDIBLY funny.


12 posted on 01/13/2014 5:06:52 PM PST by Hardastarboard (The question of our age is whether a majority of Americans can and will vote us all into slavery.)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

“I think I lost a kidney!”

LOL LOL LOL


13 posted on 01/13/2014 5:11:44 PM PST by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: Cicero

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389661854&sr=8-1&keywords=haribo+sugar+free+gummi+bears


14 posted on 01/13/2014 5:13:24 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; me = independent conservative)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Might be useful when Metamucil just isn’t enough.


15 posted on 01/13/2014 5:16:04 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum (Who knew that one day professional wrestling would be less fake than professional journalism?)
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To: dynachrome

So THAT’s what Harry ate to cause him to have that toilet scene in Dumb and Dumber.


16 posted on 01/13/2014 5:17:30 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; me = independent conservative)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Thanks for the biggest laugh in months,
this thread will run and run, Bwahaha!


17 posted on 01/13/2014 5:17:54 PM PST by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day.)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Gummi Worms > Gummi Bears.

They also work great on a silver spoon for pike and muskie. We found them better than Mr. Twisters from Bass Pro.

Plus, you can eat them while you sit in the boat!

Try that with a Pork Squigly!


18 posted on 01/13/2014 5:18:48 PM PST by esoxmagnum (Turtles don't win fights. Victory belongs to the aggressor, not the guy hiding in a bunker.)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

I wonder if William SHATner likes these gummy bears?


19 posted on 01/13/2014 5:19:46 PM PST by rabidralph
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

now that there is funny! bags for congress is a great idea.


20 posted on 01/13/2014 5:21:00 PM PST by mistfree (Their & There, they're not the same)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

“And that, to my great chagrin, is why I didn’t immediately notice the difference between Haribo Normal Gummi Bears (which are designed for human enjoyment) and Haribo Sugarless Gummi Bears (which are designed for use in maximum security prisons as a way to punish uncooperative inmates).”


21 posted on 01/13/2014 5:22:15 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; me = independent conservative)
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To: MeshugeMikey; SortaBichy
"Laugh, I thought I'd sh*t", as my old Sergeant used to say.......I did, and I did.

Great find. As one who had his gallbladder yanked a year ago (therefore more than subject so sudden 'explosiveness') I found myself feeling not-so-alone in the world....

22 posted on 01/13/2014 5:29:20 PM PST by ErnBatavia (The 0baMao Experiment: Abject Failure)
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To: martin_fierro

Industrial strength humor here.

Japanese revenge for losing WW2?


23 posted on 01/13/2014 5:33:37 PM PST by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Hilarious! Do not read this to a husband who is eating! Hubby sprayed his food all over the table and into my glass of tea. ROFLOL.


24 posted on 01/13/2014 5:38:17 PM PST by petitfour
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To: petitfour

LOL My job here is done for the night! hehe


25 posted on 01/13/2014 5:40:03 PM PST by My hearts in London - Everett (You think you know me. You don't.)
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To: ErnBatavia

theres one sugar subsitute that affects me somewhat the same way...

It found in some brands of cough drops.


26 posted on 01/13/2014 5:48:16 PM PST by MeshugeMikey ( Help fight The Neo Stalinists! Donate to your Free Republic)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

I think this tops the “Ryan’s Steakhouse” story. I laughed until I had to quit reading so I could breathe.


27 posted on 01/13/2014 5:49:36 PM PST by IamConservative (The soul of my lifes journey is Liberty!)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Importantly, this is a fairly common effect of some of the sugar alcohols. But a warning. One of the sugar alcohols, called Xylitol, is deadly to dogs. It is usually found in treats designed for diabetics, and it is harmless to humans, possibly causing diarrhea like other sugar alcohols if you eat too much of it.

Lollipops, syrups, cookie mixes, brownie mixes and jellies all may contain Xylitol. But because of its extreme toxicity to dogs, manufacturers do not list it as just another “sugar alcohol”, of which there are many, so the label will specifically say Xylitol.

“Once thought to cause only hypoglycemia in dogs, this sugar substitute has recently been discovered to also produce acute, possibly life-threatening liver disease, acute hepatic necrosis, hypokalemia, hypophosphatemia, and coagulopathy.”

“Toxic level are from as little as .1g/kg of the dog’s weight. After xylitol ingestion, vomiting is usually the initial sign. Hypoglycemia may develop within 30 to 60 minutes. However, in some cases of xylitol gum ingestion, hypoglycemia may be delayed for up to 12 hours. The clinical signs may progress rapidly from lethargy to ataxia, collapse, and seizure. Acute liver failure from 12 to 24 hours.”

“The lowest estimated dose associated with liver failure to date has been 0.5 g/kg.”


28 posted on 01/13/2014 5:50:01 PM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (There Is Still A Very Hot War On Terror, Just Not On The MSM. Rantburg.com)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Oops! He made it to the bottom of his glass of tea before he noticed the rice precipitate awaiting reentry to his mouth.


29 posted on 01/13/2014 5:50:46 PM PST by petitfour
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Mentat!


30 posted on 01/13/2014 5:52:26 PM PST by NonValueAdded (It's not the penalty, it's the lack of coverage on 1 Jan. Think about it.)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Sugarless candies are composed of so-called non-nutritive sugars that taste sweet but which cannot be digested by enzymes in the gut. They are supposedly to pass harmlessly through one’s system, but are problematic when eaten to excess, and some people cannot tolerate even small amounts. Notably, if even a relatively small amount causes trouble, it can be a sign that one has a digestive disorder. Medical help should be sought to identify and treat the specific problem.


31 posted on 01/13/2014 5:52:30 PM PST by Rockingham
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To: yefragetuwrabrumuy

Thanks for that warning!


32 posted on 01/13/2014 5:52:51 PM PST by petitfour
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Oh my God! I am in tears from laughter and my sides hurt.

My wife and daughter came into my office to see why I was laughing so hard. That first review is priceless!

Thank you for the comedic diversion. It is greatly appreciated.


33 posted on 01/13/2014 5:58:16 PM PST by OldMissileer
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Sending a box to my Congressman now.


34 posted on 01/13/2014 6:00:54 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: NonValueAdded

“Bless the Maker and His water.
Bless the coming and going of Him.
May His passage cleanse the world, starting with my lower intestinal tract.”

Freegards


35 posted on 01/13/2014 6:05:48 PM PST by Ransomed
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To: My hearts in London - Everett; All

It’s hard to ascertain the ingredients, but the offending one is Lycasin, aka ‘Malitol’.

Anyone with a diabetic in the family is familiar with this ingredient and its effects.

Fyi, it ‘is’ possible to ‘acclimate’ to the sugar alcohol by gradually introducing it to your system, not ‘shocking’ the system with a Gummy Bear overdose.

(still wiping tears from my eyes from laughing so damned hard...)

Suggestion: Stock up on these and hand-deliver ‘candy-baskets’ to all the Liberal ‘get out the vote’ campaigns this fall (without the package, of course).


36 posted on 01/13/2014 6:10:16 PM PST by logi_cal869
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To: 21stCenturion; 75thOVI; Abathar; alarm rider; albee; Alice au Wonderland; Amityschild; ...
INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH
HUMOR

>> PING <<
No amateurs, please.
Send FReepmail if you want on/off ISHP list
The List of Ping Lists

37 posted on 01/13/2014 6:15:25 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

I am on page 7 of the reviews. Tears are running down my cheeks


38 posted on 01/13/2014 6:25:25 PM PST by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

What a riot.


39 posted on 01/13/2014 6:28:39 PM PST by Lurkina.n.Learnin (This is not just stupid, we're talking Democrat stupid here.)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Too much!


40 posted on 01/13/2014 6:46:33 PM PST by Inyo-Mono (NRA)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Thank you, that was the best laugh I’ve had since October of 2008.

Hilarious


41 posted on 01/13/2014 6:49:50 PM PST by TheConservativeParty
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To: Cyber Liberty

Pinging you to a very humorous distraction.

Everyone send a crate of these sugarless Gummy Bears all the alphabet gov’t departments (can’t name them) who make our lives so wonderful.

Sugar Free Gummies for all of them!


42 posted on 01/13/2014 6:56:35 PM PST by TheConservativeParty
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To: My hearts in London - Everett
"It is by Haribo alone that I set my bowels in motion..."

OMG...I'm dying. I can't stop...laughing. Typing is nearly...impossible. Must...stop...hit Post...

43 posted on 01/13/2014 7:00:09 PM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts ("The further a society drifts from truth the more it will hate those who speak it." - George Orwell)
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To: My hearts in London - Everett

Those were great...hahahaha! I liked the one of laying in bed praying to fart. hahahaha!


44 posted on 01/13/2014 7:03:18 PM PST by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheel barrow)
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To: IamConservative

“Ryan’s Steakhouse” story

What’s that about?


45 posted on 01/13/2014 7:04:05 PM PST by Lurkina.n.Learnin (This is not just stupid, we're talking Democrat stupid here.)
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To: HangnJudge
I think it's the glycerin

Nope. It's the Lycasin. Lycasin's known side effects in adults include bloating, intestinal gurgling or rumbling and flatulence. Some cases of severe intestinal distress have resulted from consuming excessive quantities of foods containing Lycasin.

46 posted on 01/13/2014 7:10:20 PM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts ("The further a society drifts from truth the more it will hate those who speak it." - George Orwell)
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To: dynachrome
Japanese revenge for losing WW2?

Haribo is a German company. But your theory still holds water.

47 posted on 01/13/2014 7:12:14 PM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts ("The further a society drifts from truth the more it will hate those who speak it." - George Orwell)
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts; dynachrome
Haribo is a German company.

Forget it, he's rolling.

48 posted on 01/13/2014 7:14:38 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: My hearts in London - Everett; RedMDer; deoetdoctrinae; The Cajun; vox_freedom; JoeProBono; ...
Should have done this earlier:
General humour UT Ping.
This will brighten up your day!
49 posted on 01/13/2014 7:15:05 PM PST by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day.)
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To: dfwgator

And here I thought I couldn’t laugh any more. Gotta log out...


50 posted on 01/13/2014 7:15:42 PM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts ("The further a society drifts from truth the more it will hate those who speak it." - George Orwell)
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