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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Silliness from around the world | Friday, March 28, 2014 | uochuck sitting in for Lucky9teen

Posted on 03/28/2014 3:50:50 AM PDT by upchuck

Are you ready for some Friday Silliness?

lucky9teen sent me a FReepmail saying she is sick and asking me to post this thread. This is an awesome responsibility and I hope, with your help, that this thread will be a crazy, insane, off-the-wall and out-of-the-box experience.

Let's get started:

Some would say this is a perfect mix:


Lots of new stories lately about people who are "other than heterosexual." Let us always remember that a transvestite is just a guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
Let me see if I have this correct...

Ukraine buys almost all its energy (natural gas)from Russia. Revenues from natural gas sales are a primary source of income for Russia.

Because of the recent disagreement between Ukraine and Russia, Russia is raising the price of natural gas it sells to Ukraine.

Ukraine is almost broke and can't afford the increase in the natural gas price because it would be forced into bankruptcy.

Obama(the USA) just announced the United States is giving Ukraine $1 billion to assist in paying for the higher priced natural gas it buys from Russia.

So, the United States is actually giving Russia $1 billion because the money is just passing through Ukraine.

The first question: Has Putin figured out a way to raise the price of his natural gas sales and make the U.S. pay for the increase?

Next question: Was he really in the KGB or was he a commodities trader?

If this analysis is accurate, Putin just got Obama(the USA) to pay him $1 billion by holding a press conference and trucking some troops across town from the Russian Navy base in Ukraine.

Who is the smartest guy in the room now?


And, speaking of being the smartest guy in the room:


Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb, the anus forms before any other opening. Which means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.

Some people never develop beyond this stage.




H/T to smoothsailing



                A Tale of Two Cities

Chicago Houston

Population 2.7 million 2.15 million

Median HH Income $38,600 $37,000

% African-Americ 38.9% 24%

% Hispanic 29.9% 44%

% Asian 5.5% 6%

% Non-Hispanic White 28.7 26%

Pretty similar until you compare the following:

Chicago Houston

Concealed Carry gun law no yes

# of Gun Stores 0 184 Dedicated gun stores plus 1500 legal places to buy guns: Walmart, K-mart, sporting goods, etc.

Homicides in 2012 1,806 207

Homicides per 100K 38.4 9.6

Avg. Jan. high temp. (F) 31 63

Liberal conclusion: Cold weather causes murder.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Indeed.

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!


41 posted on 03/28/2014 6:31:01 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: TheOldLady
My “Christmas Story” reference sailed right past you that time.

I can be a little dense sometimes; like when I'm awake.

Drink more Ovaltine. Got it.

42 posted on 03/28/2014 6:33:03 AM PDT by Pan_Yan (Who told you that you were naked? Genesis 3:11)
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My kind of gal.....

A Texas Lady Tale.

Kind of a Texas thing….but maybe you “others” will find enjoyment as well.

One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a bridge in Austin. As she neared the middle of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin (”fixin” in Texas means: has the means or abilities to take action) to jump...

She stopped her car, rolled down the window, and said, “Please don’t jump! Think of your dear mother and father.”

He replied, “My mom and dad are both dead; I’m going to jump.”

She said, “Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children.”

He replied, “I’m not married, and I don’t have any kids.”

She said, “Well, then you just remember the Alamo.”

He replied, ‘’What’s the Alamo?’’

She replied, ‘’Well bless your heart...just go ahead and jump, you little Yankee Democrat Bastard!’’


43 posted on 03/28/2014 6:34:58 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: BenLurkin

Oh, YES! And NOW!


44 posted on 03/28/2014 6:37:15 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I don't know when the UFO dumped off all these stupid people, but I guess they're not coming back.)
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To: Pan_Yan
I can be a little dense sometimes; like when I'm awake.

I still like you anyway. ;-)

I am a fellow dense (slow on the uptake) person as well.
45 posted on 03/28/2014 6:43:37 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: upchuck

46 posted on 03/28/2014 6:46:51 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Tre Norner eg ber, binde til rota...)
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To: Envisioning

I live not far from Luckenbach.


47 posted on 03/28/2014 6:47:14 AM PDT by MisterArtery
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Top 50!


48 posted on 03/28/2014 6:50:05 AM PDT by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: upchuck

49 posted on 03/28/2014 7:03:25 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: JRios1968

Top 50

Woohoo!!!!


50 posted on 03/28/2014 7:16:13 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz ("Heck of a reset there, Hillary")
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To: upchuck

Poor Jake. lol

51 posted on 03/28/2014 7:19:12 AM PDT by MissTed ( Private Tagline - Do Not Read!)
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To: nothingnew
self ping-pong

FMCDH(BITS)

52 posted on 03/28/2014 7:20:24 AM PDT by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
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53 posted on 03/28/2014 7:27:08 AM PDT by Heartlander (We are all Rodeo Clowns now!)
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To: Daffynition
Needs one of these.


54 posted on 03/28/2014 7:29:11 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Tre Norner eg ber, binde til rota...)
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To: M Kehoe

55 posted on 03/28/2014 7:30:57 AM PDT by Old Sarge (TINVOWOOT: There Is No Voting Our Way Out Of This)
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To: upchuck

56 posted on 03/28/2014 7:41:59 AM PDT by aMorePerfectUnion
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To: upchuck
How to eliminate most liberals from the internet....


57 posted on 03/28/2014 8:18:20 AM PDT by relentlessly
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To: upchuck



58 posted on 03/28/2014 8:33:35 AM PDT by Lady Jag (Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society. - Aristotle)
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To: MissTed

LMAO.


59 posted on 03/28/2014 8:36:29 AM PDT by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: Lady Jag

If you fall, I’ll be there
I’ll be a ground.


60 posted on 03/28/2014 9:08:25 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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