Skip to comments.***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 05/16/2014 5:48:43 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
When: Always on May 16th
It's Love a Tree Day. So, go out and give a tree a great big hug.
Trees are a good thing. They give us shade, comfort and warmth. They give off oxygen, too. There are many, many benefits provided by trees. So, you have good reason to love a tree or two.
Everyone has a favorite kind of tree. Use today to identify a tree you love, and to pamper it. Give it a trim. Eliminate competitors around it. Feed it a dose of fertilizer. Tree spikes work great. And, give the tree some water, if it is thirsty.
Important Note: On Love a Tree Day, your attention must be turned toward trees. A bush or a shrub just won't do.
Woohoo!! It’s Friday!!!!!!
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I love me some Friday Silliness Thread!
I normally just lurk on this thread, but with the week I’m having with clients I really need this and I want to thank you for preparing it.
Thank you Lucky!
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That is a great cartoon. I just subscribed to Branco.
Beam me up, Scottie!
Written by a third grader, on what his grandparents do.
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box that has wheels, but its strapped to the ground. They ride around on their bicycles, and wear name tags, because they don’t know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all just jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape.
Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night - early birds. Some of the people can’t get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck. My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and, says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
Forward to all your “retarded grandparent” friends. Or just your “retarded” friends.
Cool! Top 980!
Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
“Hey Baby.....whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”
She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”
While he didn’t want to appear ‘sensitive’, George also didn’t want to miss this ‘be-a-legend’ opportunity either so he asked, “Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... Why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that. And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
“Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?”
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”
It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
“You can’t do anything to stop me.”
ha ha ha!
BTW, tree huggers get splinters.
Not sure top what. But Happy Friday!!!!
Just the socialist trees (according to the Rush lyrics) ...
How does a tree get pregnant?
By a woodpecker!
A man is walking along the beach when he sees a woman in a wheelchair crying. He walks over to her and asks her what’s the matter.
“I’ve been wheelchair-bound all my life,” the woman answers, “and I’m feeling a little down because I’ve never known what it’s like to be held by a man.”
The man thinks about it for a moment, and he decides if it will cheer her up, it’s not a big deal. So he lifts her out of the wheelchair and embraces her warmly.
A few days later, he sees the same woman again. And once again, she’s crying. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I have never been kissed by a man,” she says. So he leans down and gives her a nice kiss on the lips.
A few days later, he’s walking along the beach again, and guess who he sees. This time, she seems really upset. “What’s the matter?” he asks.
“Well, I’m not sure how to put this,” she says, “but... well... I’ve never been screwed.”
So he lifts her out of the wheelchair and carries her out into the surf. Once he’s about waist-deep in the water, he drops her and says, “Okay, now you’re screwed!”
Well, the maples certainly think the oaks are evil...
Just exactly how many levels of Hell are there?
I have a sign in my office “Large Carbon Footprints Make Happy Trees.” Drives the LoFos & libs bat guano.
AGAIN! TOP SOMething...
That looks like something a little more aggressive than the stuff in Toy Story. I LIKE it! :o])
What the MSM watchers don’t see.
Brown-finger Barney strikes again!
You made me LOL! Not many people can make me LOL.
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