Posted on 01/21/2016 2:45:07 PM PST by dayglored
Caught drunk, armed and packing perplexing pork product
A Virginia man is due to appear before a Grand Jury in February having been caught in his neighbour's garden while drunk, armed, wearing a camouflage mask and carrying "a suspicious bag of bacon".
Evan Patrick Cater, 31, of Madison Heights, was cuffed last October when officers discovered him "hiding behind a dog kennel on a neighbor’s property around 10 p.m. Oct. 18 after the property owner heard his dogs barking and went to investigate", as the the local News & Advance explains.
According to Amherst County Sheriff's Office, Cater was "intoxicated and in possession of a firearm" - a 9mm pistol - and also "in possession of bacon covered in an unknown substance".
He's charged with "felony wearing a mask in public, misdemeanor trespassing, public intoxication and carrying a gun while intoxicated", the News & Advance reports, but there are no further details on just how suspicious the bacon turned out to be.
However, neighbour Bobby Wood - on whose property Cater was cuffed - told an Amherst County judge earlier this week that his wife had "previously reported Cater to authorities because Cater was shooting a firearm in his backyard".
It's possible, then, that a disgruntled Cater intended the suspicious bacon for Woods' dogs, and the County Sheriff's report indeed notes that Woods and his missus were "monitoring the animals for any potential poisoning".
Of course, a true bacon lover would describe the American variety as "suspicious", even were it not served up coated in an unknown substance by a tooled-up masked man with a few liveners under his belt.
Suspicious bacon: Evan Cater poses for Amherst County cops
That is one scary photo.
I don’t always carry bacon, but when I do, it’s hickory smoked from a slab; stay hungry my friends.
I don't get it. Was it the bacon that was suspicious or only the bag? Because I've had bacon turn bad on me. Next thing you know there's a poster on the Post Office bulletin board...
GENIUS!!
“I’ve got this bacon, and I see the cops coming. Hmmm. I’ll hide behind the dog kennel. They won’t find me there...”
Maybe he was carrying Beggin’ Strips. Dogs can’t tell it’s not bacon.
Maybe he was carrying Beggin’ Strips. Dogs can’t tell it’s not bacon.
My first thought also!
lol
Feed the bacon to the perp, then autopsy if necessary to determine the substance on the bacon. Potential win-win.
“felony wearing a mask in public.” How is that a felony wearing a mask in public. I’m sure some cops make up charges.
No love for a dog killer. What did those innocent dogs do to him?
Pissed at the neighbors, fine, but don’t take it out on their dogs.
What, no pickup truck or gee-tar?
I like how you think.
I think just being "not on his own property" can be defined as "in public".
Heck, try standing on your own front lawn nekkid -- you'll get charged with "public indecency" and that's even your own property.
Clearly a lower class of criminal.
Was the neighbor a Muzzie? That could explain the bag of bacon. It was his weapon.
Or a drunk Mom or a hound dawg or a railroad train either. A complete failure as a country song.
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