All-Star Game Moved From Atlanta To Uyghur Prison Camp Yard

The Babylon Bee ^ | April 5, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

ATLANTA, GA—Spokespeople for Major League Baseball announced today that the All-Star Game this summer will be moved from Atlanta, due to its egregious voting laws, to a Uyghur prison camp yard, where there aren't any bad voting laws at all.

The game will be held in the spacious prison yard, which features a tall barbed-wire fence and a modest outfield. The venue features lots of free labor, so every role from the ball boys to the concession vendors won't cost the league a dime. In fact, the workers are already happily chalking the baselines and tending the grass, since if they don't, they will be murdered.

"We must move the All-Star game to a place that shares our values," said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. "This prison yard is absolutely perfect, and they're giving it to us absolutely free. What a friend we have in Communist China!"

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Perfect!

[mrsmith]

Beautiful!
They’re so good!

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Tickets sell for either $1000 or a helpful tip to the Red Chinese government about your neighbor’s activities.

DANG!

[Southside_Chicago_Republican]

Ouch!

[SaxxonWoods]

Bwahahaha!

[Billthedrill]

"We must move the All-Star game to a place that shares our values," said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred.

Burn...

[Flick Lives]

“Sting like a Bee”

[Peter ODonnell]

Everyone can vote in China, the problem is, there’s only one party on the ballot.

[TigersEye]

"This should be one of the most exciting games in recent memory, as any player who fails to stand for the Chinese pledge of allegiance or points to God to thank Him for a great play will be shot on sight."

Too bad this is satire.

[SuperLuminal]

This will definitely improve the TV audience numbers...

I’m going to send away for some game memorabilia for the first time since 1960...

[The Right Edge]

I have a sense of humor. This is brilliant. Whoever thought this up is “underpaid”

[Liz]

Tickets sell for either $1000 .......or a helpful tip to the Red Chinese government about your neighbor’s activities.

Rotflol.....now that's funny.

[Liz]

Most importantly, the prison camp has no ban on early voting, since there is no voting, and no law against giving voters water, since there are no voters.

Or water.

This should be one of the most exciting games in recent memory, as any player who fails to stand for the Chinese pledge of allegiance or points to God to thank Him for a great play will be shot on sight.

However, the game will be limited to just three extra innings, as Disney needs the space immediately after to film a documentary on Georgia’s bad voting laws.

© Copyright 2021 The Babylon Bee

[Enterprise]

"This should be one of the most exciting games in recent memory, as any player who fails to stand for the Chinese pledge of allegiance or points to God to thank Him for a great play will be shot on sight."

Stop by the organ harvester's booth for your chance to win a free lung transplant.

[Liz]

ROTFLOL......genius post.

[Liz]

I’m going to send away for some game memorabilia for the first time since 1960...

Me too....I hear they're offering personalized chopsticks shaped like a baseball bat.

[bitt]

p

Thanks, Stacey Abrams....

[Jane Long]

LOL....perfect.

[Jane Long]

I always have to check....to confirm it’s the Bee, these days 😱

[GOPJ]

"We must move the All-Star game to a place that shares our values," said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. "This prison yard is absolutely perfect, and they're giving it to us absolutely free. What a friend we have in Communist China!"

Excellent... (as an aside - thank God the Bee is on our side... They're THAT good.)