Privacy Win: Texas Legalizes Shooting Google Maps Car On Sight

The Babylon Bee ^ | February 28, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

LEWISVILLE, TX — In a move privacy advocates are hailing as historic, Texas's state legislature has passed a batch of new laws allowing civilians to shoot Google Maps camera cars on sight.

"These new laws will allow Texans to exercise their God-given, constitutionally guaranteed, and morally necessary rights to blow away any of these creepy-crawly Googl-y spy cars." Texas Governor Abbott spoke to members of the press outside the statehouse, resting the heels of his hands on what onlookers called "comically large guns" on a "comically large belt with a comically large belt buckle" designed to look like a longhorn cow on a Texas flag logo.

Google Maps cars traverse cities and towns to help build the technology company's "street view" feature, but the company is expected to reconsider sending their camera-mounted cars through Texas's borders.

Texas lawmakers are expected to pass additional legislation allowing citizens to shoot down unwanted drones, bullseye credit card machines that request fingerprint authorization, and blast phones out of the hands of TikTok influencers.

At publishing time, Texas had also announced plans for legislation allowing Texans to fire their guns in the air to show their approval of things — something they were all doing anyway.

[Mark17]

😆😆😆😆😆

[BipolarBob]

Yee haw! I can’t wait. There’s gotta be a tracking app for this sucker. I’m gonna swiss cheese this sucker.

[CatOwner]

I would say this needs to be made into a BB video on YT. But seeing that YT is Google owned, it probably wouldn’t last long.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Texas lawmakers are expected to pass additional legislation allowing citizens to shoot down unwanted drones, bullseye credit card machines that request fingerprint authorization, and blast phones out of the hands of TikTok influencers.

I am HTB and I approve this legislation.

[cgbg]

The Bee is BBBBBusy today.

;-)

[BitWielder1]

Funny, but I'm afraid The Bee will get in trouble for this one.

[sauropod]

😁

[CivilWarBrewing]

Soros will hire some homeless thug to shoot up a Google Maps vehicle then the thug will claim "the Babylon Bee told me it was okay so I done it!"

It will be national news and the BB will be crucified.

[sjmjax]

Lahti L-39! The official anti-Google rifle.

[Rurudyne]

Sadly this is the Bee.

[Pete from Shawnee Mission]

Good deal Texas!

Those map vehicle bother horses and riders and they bother outside diners!
(Don't want your "horse" to throw you or spill any expensive wine!)

(Yah, I know...its just the Bee! :)

[higgmeister]

Well, I scrolled down to see the photo of the :

"comically large guns" on a "comically large belt with a comically large belt buckle" designed to look like a longhorn cow on a Texas flag logo.

Does that mean they got me or that no amount of satire can trump what ought to be?

[WKUHilltopper]

Crap. Was hoping this was real.

[Chad C. Mulligan]

And drones! Don’t forget drones! Drones are a lot more sporting!

[BipolarBob]

Those were already legal to shoot down. Tricky things. Very evasive.

[xp38]

Sadly I think you may be right

[Charles Martel]

Heh, I can almost hear the computer keys clicking as a new King of the Hill episode takes shape.

[House Atreides]

“ Crap. Was hoping this was real.”
***********************************

No, not in Texas. You have to go to Montana for actual Google Maps Car open seasons. Not sure what the bag limit is and it may vary by county. /sarc

[dennisw]

Texas leads the way!