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 Living Room Somewhere - (CSC wires) What did you do during Thanksgiving? If you are like most people, you stuffed your belly and face so much that you could give the Pillsbury Doughboy a run for his money. And if you were able to move to the couch, you were probably watching football, basketball, hockey, or figure skating. Why figure skating? It's always on television.
Here's a rundown of what was going on while you were stuffing your face with stuffing.
NFL - The Dolphins did a number on the Cowboys. While Toby Keith highlighted the halftime show with great music, there was nothing exciting about the game for the Cowboys fans. Oh well! There is always next Thanksgiving. Gobble! Gobble!
NFL - Of course the Detroit Lions are bad, but the Green Bay Packers couldn't beat them. Maybe next time for the Cheesehead Fans.
NHL - What is the best part of an NHL game?
 Fighting!
Can't we all get along?
NCAA Basketball - While you were busy trying to locate who ate the last piece of pumpkin pie, Duke manhandled Pacific University. The question remains: Do you really care? Sure you do. Really!
NHL - Oh! On Turkey Day, they did play hockey. The Maple Leafs, Canucks, Coyotes, and Avalanche won their respective games. Yippee!
 Sports Humor
Do you love sports, but lack anything funny to say about sports? Well, that's why we are here. To make you funnier! Jocks Vs Nerds (You know who you are!) "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?"
$ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, he makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
$ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
$ If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
$ If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
$ He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.
$ He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
$ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
$ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
$ He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
$ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.
$ If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you 'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
$ He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
$ While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
$ This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.
Amazing isn't it? However...
$ If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.
$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.
Workout At The Gym
(Beware of Christmas Gifts!)
At the Gym
For Christmas this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started.
Day 1
They suggest I keep this "exercise diary" to chart my progress this week. Started the morning at 6: 00 a.m. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was talking to her. This is going to be great.
Day 2
Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron bar up into the air. Then she put weights on it, for heaven's sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it all worth it. Muscles feel great
Day 3
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I am that I have developed a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was okay as long as I didn't try to steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live longer. I can't imagine anything worse.
Day 4
Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a full snarl. I can't help it if I was half an hour late, it took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word "dumb" must be in there for a reason. I hid in the men's room until she sent Lars looking for me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine. It sank.
Day 5
I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my triceps. Well, I have news for you Tanya, I don't have triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand me any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the damage, you went to sadist school, you are to blame. The treadmill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt like crazy. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like a music teacher, or social studies?
Day 6
Got Tanya's message on my answering machine, wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the weather channel.
Day 7
Well, that's the week. Thank goodness that's over. Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more fun, like free teeth drilling at the dentist's.
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For Oatmeal Raisin Spice Cookies, substitute raisins for the chocolate chips. Season by adding 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves, and a pinch of nutmeg to the dry ingredients. (Spices are another thing that are subject to taste, so you may want to make a test cookie and then increase the amount of spices accordingly. It's best, of course, to err on the side of caution because you can always add more; it isn't that easy to pick spice pieces out of a cookie batter! Alternatively, if you prefer, you can substitute pumpkin pie spice for the cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg.) 
