PENTAGON REGRETS ‘FRANCE SUCKS’ MEMO - Timing 'Unfortunate,' Wolfowitz Says

Borowitz Report ^

[Sub-Driver]

PENTAGON REGRETS ‘FRANCE SUCKS’ MEMO

Timing 'Unfortunate,' Wolfowitz Says

The Pentagon said today that it regretted releasing a memo indicating that France sucks just hours before the U.S. was to ask the French to forgive billions in Iraqi debt.

"The timing of the memo was unfortunate," said Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, who authored the memo. "We should have released the memo after the French agreed to forgive the debt."

In concluding his mea culpa, Mr. Wolfowitz said, "Our timing, much like France itself, sucks."

The Wolfowitz memo, which was entitled "France: Why It Sucks," was the talk of diplomatic circles in Paris and Washington today.

"If Monsieur Wolfowitz believes that France sucks, he is certainly entitled to his opinion," said French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin. "But there was no need to list 1,001 reasons."

For his part, Mr. Wolfowitz agreed that the length of the memo was a "rare misstep for me," adding, "I should have gone with my original idea, 'The Top Ten Reasons Why France Sucks.'"

Attempting to mend fences with France, Germany and Russia, who were still fuming about being shut out of bidding for reconstruction projects in Iraq, Mr. Wolfowitz said today that the U.S. would permit the three allies to bid on "one-of-a-kind memorabilia" on the auction site eBay.

The first eBay item mentioned by Mr. Wolfowitz, an autographed program from Cher's Farewell Tour 2003, went to Russia, who was the highest bidder at $10.50.

In other news, former General Wesley Clark shook up his bid for the presidency today, replacing his campaign staff with NATO troops.

[putupon]

Not only does France suck, it swallows.

Kudos to Wolfowitz!

[grumple]

Bad attempt at humor bump

[cars for sale]

bad attempt telling the truth ? burn in hell France

[jaykay]

Bad attempt at humor? It was hysterical!

[At _War_With_Liberals]

http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/eibessential0/the_chirac_hussein_connection___courtesy_of_stratfor_com.guest.html

[Egon]

Contrary to at least one poster, I thought it was great!

[Cronos]

That's a daft photograph. It was dated to the 70s. in the 70s and 80s WE were even more closer to Saddy. We gave him weapons tons of them, so the photograph only serves as embarassment to all of the West that we made a mistake in Irq.

[At _War_With_Liberals]

Pic taken at nuclear reactor.

[grumple]

Well I can agree that the "leaders" of France should burn in hell, but I don't believe the majority of the people agree with what their leaders have done. And I'm in a bah humbug sort of mood today, I need coffee...

[FreedomPoster]

That's a myth. There were never any M-60 MBTs, nor any F-4 jets, in Saddam's inventory. Saddam was close to the Soviets. He got a little help in the 80's when it looked like he might get his butt kicked by the Iranis, mostly intelligence (spy satellite) help. SIPRI used to have a good graphic that showed the predominance of ComBloc weaponry in Saddam's arsenal, but it's gone from their site now.

[cars for sale]

sadly,yes the majority of France DO AGREE.

[IronJack]

"France: Why It Sucks,"

Ah, the subtle language of diplomacy.

[MediaMole]

WE were even more closer to Saddy. We gave him weapons tons of them, so the photograph only serves as embarassment to all of the West that we made a mistake in Irq.

Unless you are Russian or Chinese, the numbers don't back you up.

[taxed2death]

Nice post! I just sprayed my monitor with OJ.

LOL.

[G.Mason]

Sacre Bleu!

Vous sucer effectif bon, eh bien bourdonner enlever!

[tkathy]

Hysterical!

[MediaMole]

Just to prove my point...

[Sacajaweau]

France smells, too.

[Ax]

I'm surprised Chile didn't make that list. I remember seeing an Iraqi Airways 747 sitting on the runway at Santiago International in the mid 80s. Some investigation yielded that the Chileans were selling loads of ammunition to the Iraqis.