Posted on 07/02/2004 11:59:00 AM PDT by veronica
Jail aid as cleric gets new hooks on NHS
TERROR suspect Abu Hamza has been given new hooks on the NHS - and a £30,000-a-year nurse to wipe his backside in jail.
The Muslim extremist, who has no hands, was fitted with special £5,000 replacement hooks because it was feared his original metal ones could be used as weapons.
He is unable to clean himself as he could do himself an injury. So prison officials have hired a male nurse named Harry to perform the task.
A prison source said: "He's known as 'Dirty Harry'. This guy has got one of the worst jobs in the world. His main reason for being there is to clean Hamza's backside. Everyone's having a laugh about it. But Hamza can't be left unclean. It would be a health hazard."
Hamza is being held in top-security Belmarsh jail, in South East London, as the US attempts to extradite him on terror charges.
The nurse - recruited from a private agency - spends up to two hours a day with him.
His other duties include helping the 47-year-old cleric to wash, cut his toenails, clip his beard and change his clothes.
Although employed mainly to look after Hamza, "Harry" performs similar duties for another inmate who lost his limbs. Hamza, the former rabble-rousing preacher at Finsbury Park mosque, North London, is said to have lost both hands and an eye in a bomb blast in Afghanistan.
His old hooks were removed when he was first locked up in May. The new ones, designed so they cannot be used as weapons, were fitted on Tuesday.
The source added: "They were specially made for him and fitted on the NHS. They're much better than his old ones. With his nurse, it's costing a fortune to look after him."
Hamza, who is still getting used to the new hooks, did not wear them when he appeared in a magistrate's court on a video link from jail yesterday. Instead, he wiped his forehead with his stumps. Egyptian-born Hamza, who has British citizenship, is being held in Belmarsh's Category A unit, which houses some of Britain's most dangerous inmates.
The unit contains 32 prisoners in single cells. Among them are al-Qaeda suspects and Nazi nailbomb killer David Copeland. None is allowed to mix with other inmates.
No one has ever escaped from Belmarsh which is hailed as the most secure jail in Europe. It was originally designed to house IRA terrorists.
The Prison Service refused to discuss Hamza. A spokeswoman said: "We do not comment on individual prisoners."
Kerry Voter.
Can't they get ahold of one of Uday's paper shredders to pass him through?
How'd you like to have that job? Ugh!
Just put a removeable glove on the left "hand". He could handle that.
Gives new meaning to letting someone's ass rot in jail.
It's not bad hours. But the view stinks!
I believe that was a wood chipper, not a paper shredder.
Bidet?
Keep your eye on this story
Exactly what I was thinking, although I couldn't figure out how to spell it.
Actually, it was a plastic shredder.
Why not just use a fire hose??!
Why is this guy still alive?
Sigh....
LOL
It's crap like this that spells death to evolution.
So... why don't they just put a cork in him?
You mean, plug him?
Let Hamza the mamza use his real hook..
The beast isn't worth the time, money, energy, consideration or dignity. Dig a hole, throw him in it, cover it up and walk away.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww YUCK!!!
Click The Logo To DonateI agree......and with that, I am now leaving for a month long vacation. I wont miss this thread....LOL, but I will miss this board.
Just fix you up one of those automatic chicken pluckers. I would guess you have to set in on the gentle cycle though.
http://www.mcmurrayhatchery.com/product/automatic_chicken_picker.html
Just give him a supply of corn cobs modified so they can be screwed onto his stump. If they 'irritate' this fine fellow, then provide a supply of bacon grease to sooth his pain. He can use another corn cob as an applicator.
No kidding! Hook, meet rectum.
You laugh. My father assured me there was no such thing as toilet paper when he grew up. Yep, it was corn cobs.
LOL!!!
"Hey, Nurse Ratched! Break out the 80-grit! He made poopy-pants again!"
Yep. See how long it takes him to blow up :).
LOL!! This story is too funny!
Get this dirt bag a a bushel basket of corn cobs. When he has the need he sticks a hook into a corn cob, and voila!
Hate to put Harry out of job, but how unhappy can he be?
I wasn't laughing. I'm old enough to have used an outhouse and not as a part of a camping trip either. It was all some of my relatives had for sanitation. While these relatives did use toilet paper, one of my aunts still had a bin for collecting and storing the corn cobs. I also understand that Sears and Monkey Wards catalogs were also quite popular.
"Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!"
[With apologies to Mr. Silverback.]
Urban legend.
My mother's mother when I was a child didn't even have an outhouse. She made her husband do the burying:) Childhood does have its privileges. But she did have toilet paper!
Or this... 
Erm... who kept that stinking pie-hole clean before?
Regards, Ivan
Your tax dollars at work...
Suddenly going to Singapore seems like a good idea - they'd beat this blighter with a cane, like we used to do.
Regards, Ivan
Then, I realized that he had no hands,
And I was his nurse
And I cried again.
One of the worst?
I hear NHS are heavily onto prevention, with this in mind, wouldn't a pinecone do a good job...
Norm McDonald used to say the worst job in the world was "Assistant Crack Whore". The jury is still out on that one.
Or kinda like Captian Kirk's job in STAR TREK - looking for Klingons to eliminate!
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