|
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
Posted on 10/21/2004 12:08:43 PM PDT by pookie18
The records of Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry's 1988 divorce from Wall Street heiress Julia Thorne were unsealed yesterday, revealing that Kerry has always been a condescending and uninteresting prick. It is uncertain whether revelations of sexual "JFK" role-playing and narcissistic orgasms will hurt his presidential campaign. Unlike Jack Ryan, whose Senate campaign was derailed when his divorce records revealed that he pressured ex-wife Jeri Ryan to attend sex clubs, Kerry's divorce records reveal a rather pedestrian, if not somewhat ego- and Kennedy-centric sex life.
Thorne swore under oath that Kerry, "often made me dress up like Jackie O ['Nassis] or Marilyn Monroe, and would make me call him 'JFK.' His idea of foreplay was either to ask whether, 'Mrs. President wanted to solve the 'Kerry Missile Crisis,' or to say, 'who wants to have sex with John Kerry? Bring-it-on.'" She also claimed he regularly yelled out his own name during orgasm.
The records reveal that the couple rarely fought, if only because Kerry would vaguely claim both sides of an argument. "Often I'd say something like, 'John, you need to watch the children more; I need time to myself,'" Thorne claims in an affidavit, "and he'd say, 'Yes, I agree that husbands should contribute to the household, but only if they aren't working overtime to afford healthcare.' He thought he was so clever. And if trying to 'confuse' me with his 'intellect' didn't work, he'd say something like, 'you know, Julia, when I was in Vietnam I had to watch over the children of a nation.' He used the Vietnam thing a lot; it usually made no sense."
In fact, Thorne's main reason for filing for divorce was simply that, "John spent an inordinate amount of time looking in the mirror, talking to himself. When he did address me, it was usually in the form of a rhetorical question, like ' how good does my hair look today?' or a quasi-joke, like 'on a scale of nine to ten, how attractive am I?' It was almost as though I existed solely to confirm his egocentricity."
"You be her, and I'll be him"
*shudder*
Best post this week!
It may be a fake story.
I choose believe every word of it. Bwahaha
He did try to get the media to call him John F. Kerry an aweful lot.
"John spent an inordinate amount of time looking in the mirror, talking to himself."
He would say over and over "I look better, I feel better, I smell better, I talk better and my gosh oh golly - why - I am better!"
The best satire is that which is closest to the truth.
You and me both. And that's a most revealing aspect of Kerry's persona - many actually believe this stuff. Hilarious!
A spoof.
More funny Kerry divorce stuff here.
http://sharpmarbles.stufftoread.com/archive/0001/01/01/354.aspx
it a joke
Is this for REAL??? HAHA. What an asshole, my GOD man, you've got to be joking.
never mind, just noticed the link
|
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
very good satire!
Oh for goodness sake!!! Do you really think it is REAL??
Pranster--never, prankster--guilty with an explanation. Listed the true link: Broken Newz. Marked the topic as humor. Besides, thought it was too unbelievable to mark as satire :-(
She also complained that Kerry had failed to consumate the marriage for many years always saying he had a plan to do so more effectively and after appropriate consultation with neighbors and friends but couldn't reveal the details.
Hell, I believed it. Does anyone think that for John Fn Kerry the American people exist for any other reason than to stroke his ego?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
