Posted on 01/23/2005 11:57:30 AM PST by gortklattu
Just the Jokes, OK?
Johnny: "Sis - Boom - Bah
ED: "Sim - boom - bah
Johnny: What sound does an exploding sheep make?
My favorites were
"You've lost your wallet, all your cash is gone, WHAT WILL YOU DO, What WILL you DO?"....(imitating Carl Maldon commercials for AMerican Express and gets a pie in the face!)
"Name two big hits, two big mitts.....and a famous country singer!"
Carnak: Do-whacka-do
Ed: Do-whacka-do
Carnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?
Carnak: Dippity-do
Ed: Dippity-do
Carnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?
If you find a source for this, please let me know. I loved that bit.
All written by a flunky, read off a teleprompter. How funny!
If I'd have known about the donation, I would have been more ready for his death. I'm guessing he was seeing the end coming.
He was so special. No one will touch what he did again. Even someone with as much talent, and I can't think of anyone who has as much, is in a much more fragmented entertainment situation. PC has also made it tougher to be funny without eventually ticking someone off and causing career hiccups.
And that was before Clinton!
But NOT before Kennedy.
Sadly, Cartol Wayne drowned in Mexico in 1985 (per IMDB)
The first one is an important read. BY a DOCTOR!
Smoking Does NOT Cause Lung Cancer!
By: James P. Siepmann, MD
And some great frontsets too!
When Rodney Dangerfield was on. He sits down, Johnny says 'how are things?' ..Rodney goes thru every joke in his repetoire for 5 minutes non-stop. At the end Johnny just stops laughing and says "...anything else...".
Rodney: "Naw I'm done bring out the next guy."
Lol!
May a diseased yak leave a stain on your sleeper sofa.
Johnny commented on McDonalds 'Over x Million Served' sign. Said that if they kept selling burgers at this pace, they were gonna have to get another cow.
I was young, and that was hilarious...
When I was a small kid I remember Carson making a joke about Pope John the 23rd regarding birth control (remember Pope John the 23rd was Italian). The joke was, "He don't playa da game, he shouldn't make-a da rules."
Any Karnak skit.
As Art Fern, in a "Tea-Time Movie" comercial, "You don't have a job, we don't care! You don't have credit, we don't care! You don't make your payments, then we care!" Mr. Carson would slam his pointer on the counter, one time breaking it.
When Mr. Carson was asked which political party he belonged to, he said he belonged to the Whig Party.
When talking about death, Mr. Carson said, "I believe that when I die, I'm going to a garage in Bakersfield."
I have the Johnny Carson tape, '80s &' 90s, with Bette Midler as his final guest. It was certainly worth every penney.
Ed: "WILLIAM SAFIRE."
Carnac, looking at Ed in distain: "May a diseased camel date your sister......
William Safire...(Tearing open the envelope)..."Q: What's Shakespeare's first name, Kingfish."
Carson: "I didn't know you were Jewish."
That was a CLassic.
I can't believe they kept (mostly) straight faces through the whole skit.
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