Posted on 02/06/2005 4:18:14 PM PST by SmithL
Let's see, when I was growing up, I had to choose the implement that I would be beaten with, the "plastic rod" looks pretty good...
It's like, there aren't enough things around the house that you could hit your kids with ?
there are plenty of "christians" who think abortions are ok too.. just because you call yourself something doesn't make it so.
I suspect you'd be refering to the ever increasing Social,Progressive,Liberal Christian?
There is not excuse for being *proud* of beating a child.
As a generation, the boomers haven't shown many ill effects from widespread use of corporal punishment. Among my peers who grew up in the seventies/eighties, I see lots of damage from the effects of divorce, but none from having been spanked by loving parents.
There are many children who would rarely, if ever, need a spanking, and there are others who need it regularly in order to develop self-control and respect for limits. Outlawing spanking would further damage the already threatened parent-child relationship in our society. I think it would encourage a lot of parents to give up on parenting entirely. I shudder for the children of the Yuppie parents who plainly have done just that.
I just think a plastic rod is kind of an odd thing.
I used to think the same thing about the willow branch my Granmama would make me go out and cut myself. I always cut a small one and she would make me go back out to get a bigger one. Having to go get it was more of a deterent than the actual "whipping".
I loved and respected that woman more than anyone.
Hey Dan.
WHAT JESUS DID:
John 2:14 And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting:
John 2:15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;
I was raised with hairbrushes, yardsticks, branches, belts, whatever was handy...and indeed I smacked my children's chubby little thighs from time to time, namely when the child's disobedience presented an immediate danger (ie, trying to run away from me in a parking lot) or when the child's in-your-face defiance demanded immediate correction. I did not like to do it...and there's always a risk of harm when an angry adult reaches for a child. Even in "formal spankings" I never used anything besides my bare hand, but even so, it felt terrible to both of us and rarely resolved anything.
Once my kids reached an age of better comprehension, hitting seemed a very poor way to deal with whatever the problem was. My kids are strong-willed, and spanking was tempting...but I knew there would be a time when they would be too large and strong to punish physically. If I was ruling by fear up to that point, my arsenal would be empty when that confrontation came. I also knew that most schools don't permit corporal punishment (a discussion for another thread) and that the kids whose parents relied primarily on spanking to "control" their kids created little monsters for their teachers.
Spanking didn't make me a better-behaved child...it just made me sneakier. I also felt I could not talk to my parents about my mistakes or ask questions that might make them angry enough to hit me. I also remember that my paramount emotion while my bottom was smarting after a spanking was not "remorse" or "resolve to do better" but "rage" and, when punished unfairly, 'hate"..
By contrast, there are a LOT of teachable moments that come about because my kids know they can talk to me and even confess without fear. They know there will be discipline involved, but they don't have to be afraid of "what I might do to them". Sure, they may still "hate" me from time to time, but I hope that burning rage is never from my striking them and them desperately wanting to hit me back.
Making a choice not to spank doesn't automatically make me "permissive"...just as I would hesitate to call corporal punishment by most parents "abusive". In my own experience, however, other methods of discipline have proven more effective than spanking...and foster good communication instead of vengeful silence. As a side-note, it's interesting to me that nearly identical discussions occur on the dog training forum I read. Most agree that there are better ways to train a dog than striking the dog and most roundly criticize those who confess to hitting their dogs...And yet I can't count how many times I've seen dog owners at the park using the less effective, but "more humane" collars out of fear that they'll hurt their precious doggies who then turn to and smack their kids repeatedly for some minor infraction.
It sickens me to watch some of the things people do to their children in the name of discipline in public. I can't help but wonder if they behave with so little restraint in public, how do they behave behind closed doors? It's ugly and it doesn't really work. And I think the use of plastic rods and special paddles is obscene.
obscene: 1 : disgusting to the senses : REPULSIVE 2. a : repulsive by reason of crass disregard of moral or ethical principles b : so excessive as to be offensive
Good for you. I agree completely that it is not moral to hit a child
There are too many people who feel intimidated about saying that.
But the hittrs provide their own evidence just by denying any possiblity that there might be a better way. They _want_ to hit their kids. Otherwise there would be at least some sincere questions as to how non-spankers succeed...a real search for alternatives.
They were adults.
And you would be wrong. The use of plastic rods and special paddles are a means of REPRODUCIBLY providing an instrument which will hurt but not do lasting physical damage. You were actually MORE likely to injure your child by using your hand than if you would have used a paddle (paddle spreads the force of the blow over a larger area).
Yup, I have a sister-in-law who thought like you do. She used "time-outs" and verbal disciplinary methods only. Her kids are undiscplined little terrors today, and headed down the path to juvenile delinquency.
Another sister-in-law administered "hand-to-butt" chastisement as needed. HER children are great, polite, intelligent kids, who get great grades in school.
You are about right. I whacked my kids past the age of 5 or 6, but not by much. What's more, no one should touch a kid when he is mad. For the most part, there are very few times when any adult should get mad at a kid who is less than about 12 or 13 years old and well before that time, if you have not taught them right from wrong, then you have lost them anyway.
Use corporal punishment, but only do so rarely, else it will lose its effectiveness. Legitimate corporal punishment causes very little physical pain.
Usually, only the threat is needed with a normal kid. Some kids do not respond to physical discipline at all, and no kid is the same.
Parenting is a art. That is for sure.
I have vivid memories of the father of one of my friends doing this... no matter who (friends) was there to witness it. It made me so embarrassed and sad for her.
I was raised with a few swats to the butt with an open hand, so I'm told, I don't remember it. (save one, but that's a funny story) My mom believed in spanking small children who were too young to explain punishments to or reason with, and only then over outright disobedience or safety issues.
I am creeped out by parents who feel the need to use painful implements. It shouldn't be about pain. And I think it is particularly weird for a parent to BUY an implement to hit their child with.
Yeah, the one that comes off the venetian blinds works just as well, and it's free! B^)
In my youth, the implements were sold door-to-door. Is Fuller Brush still in business?
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