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First Annual Freeper Screenplay Festival and Chili/Bar-B-Cue Cook-Off
Danny Lee ^ | 2-27-2005 | Danny Lee

Posted on 02/27/2005 5:39:10 AM PST by sonofatpatcher2

Well, Oscar Night is upon us again.

And if Chris Rock is nearly right, I might be the only straight white man who watches the Oscars for both the pretty women almost dressed plus the primetime fun of making rude comments as the awards are handed out.

I think I seen about every Academy Awards when I've been able to since my folks got a television set in 1955. It was always in the back of my mind to one night walk up and accept one of those small golden guys.

I tried the acting route, even obtaining a SAG Card, and made a very small splash in some very bad films and TV commercials. I was not good enough looking to be a leading man in the McQueen-Newman-Redford heyday and not ugly enough for the anti-hero period that followed. Proof of that is directly below:

It could be said I envisioned myself as the next John Wayne... Yet in truth came closer to the poorman's Gabby Hayes.

There are five stages in any actor's professional life. The first is "Who is Danny Lee?" The second is "Get me Danny Lee!" The third is "We need a Danny Lee type!" Fourth is "Where are the young Danny Lees?" And fifth and last is the "Who is Danny Lee?"

I, to be honest, am still in the first "Who is Danny Lee?" stage after 40 someodd years of acting.

BTW Danny Lee was nominated for an Oscar in 1979 for Best Visual Effects for The Black Hole and Yes... it was not me. I was in Hollywood at the time and found myself in a very funny situation that very Oscar Night. But that is a hot tub story for another time.

My writing was good enough to get my screenplays perused in La-La-Land, but I never seemed to be able to get them in front of the guy in the head office who would say, "Pay this Danny Lee fella a pile of money and let get this script on the screen!"

As the years have passed, I realize Hollywood and I have two different, distinct visions on film making. That and my declining years have me too crippled up to chase the ladiesand on too many medications to stay drunk... So all I have left is to chain smoke and wind my watch.

Also the politics of Hollywood and I have gone two entirely different directions. I stayed about the same and they went on a very hard left. This past election proves that without a shadow of a doubt.

Therefore, knowing there are some screenwriters here on Free Republic, I hereby declare the First Annual Freeper Screenplay Festival and Chili/Bar-B-Cue Cook-Off to be off and running!

There will not be any awards outside of criticism and indigestion. Freepers who have written screenplay may post links to their work and those FRers who cook can post their fixin's and methods for chili and grilling to perfection.

Now, what could be better for Oscar Night?

I Guess we shall find out...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: academy; acting; alda; aviator; awards; baby; bbq; bening; blanchett; chii; chris; church; depp; dicaprio; dollar; eastwood; film; fox; freeman; haden; hollywood; jamie; johnny; kinsey; making; million; morgan; night; oh; oscar; oscars; portman; rock; sandra; scorsese; screenplay; screenwriting; sideways; swank; television; thomas; winslet; writing
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To: Grannyx4
Chili recipe, please!

You can always put a little 'GPS error' in the directions if it's a secret :)

41 posted on 02/27/2005 5:04:29 PM PST by Sender (Team Infidel USA)
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To: wizr
Post 'em, Wizr...

Remember: "No pain, no gain!"

Therefore, I hereby amend the official rules to allow other forms of rightin' for this event.

Just watch them limericks!

Ms. Berry looks nice tonight!
42 posted on 02/27/2005 5:05:46 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: Sender
You fixin's sound good, but some purists (Like them no good Derrick Days judges) frown on the inclusion of any tomatoes in chili.

Me, I go by taste, no matter what goes in the pot...
43 posted on 02/27/2005 5:09:39 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: ExSoldier
Hey X, happy to hear you are near cracking the nut.

But it is hard to have a screenplay festival if mine is the only script submitted. Pull out one of your old also-rans and give me a run for the money.
44 posted on 02/27/2005 5:13:38 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: sonofatpatcher2
Don't know if I am listed or not.

If you're not, you will have to put yourself up there. I appeared as an extra in four low budget films. One or two of which were mere student films. Only one of these 4 films were listed at IMDB. So I added my name into the credits of that one. :-)

After 40 years, you should have quite a list of credits.

45 posted on 02/27/2005 5:13:58 PM PST by lowbridge
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To: sonofatpatcher2

Have you appeared in any well known movies or tv shows? It would be easier to find you if you would list what you appeared in. Especially speaking parts.


46 posted on 02/27/2005 5:15:54 PM PST by lowbridge
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To: sonofatpatcher2
I've made chili completely without tomatoes, and I've made it with an overdose of tomatoes. Personally I like a little tomato content at least; I like to add a can of diced or petite diced tomatoes drained at the very end, so the cool fresh tomato bits contrast nicely with the warm chili gravy.

I know there are purists who don't even put beans in, but I always do. Beans are an enhancement and I am not good enough to enter any contests anyway.

47 posted on 02/27/2005 5:17:31 PM PST by Sender (Team Infidel USA)
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To: Sender
Re: "...world's shortest screenplay..."

Seems I heard that Isaac Assimov once wrote the shortest Sci-Fi story:

The last man on Earth heard a knock at the door.

Or something to that effect...

Gad! Did Hollywood ever trash Assimov's I Robot!

48 posted on 02/27/2005 5:17:59 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: lowbridge; sonofatpatcher2
The only 'sonofatpatcher2' credit in IMDB appears to be an extra from the film 'Gigli'.

LOL, just kidding

49 posted on 02/27/2005 5:22:52 PM PST by Sender (Team Infidel USA)
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To: Sender

Really, I'll never say such a terrible thing again. I'm sorry.


50 posted on 02/27/2005 5:23:52 PM PST by Sender (Team Infidel USA)
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To: wizr
Re: What is an agent?

Depends on what he does and how he treats his clients. Some say agents are fin-less sharks, some say they are the glue that holds the entertainment world together. I have had more sharks than glue-sniffers, but a good agent is worth his heart in gold... That is if you can find an agent with one!

51 posted on 02/27/2005 5:24:25 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: ExSoldier

Thanks. Just wondered what it was like to be represented. Good luck.


52 posted on 02/27/2005 6:36:48 PM PST by wizr (Freedom ain't free.)
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To: lowbridge
Nope, none of those Danny Lees are me. Not to blow my own horn... but you asked.

Actually, let me make that pant my little fife.

In the 1960's & 70's I had bit parts in Fabian's A Bullet for Pretty Boy and John Agar's Hell's Raiders (While on furlough, I might add.) both done by Larry Buchanan. He was a dear man who die recently.

In '71 I had a great little part in Corky starring Bobbie Blake way before he started killing wives. Blake liked to play Liar's Poker with the grips, but they always won. They were better bluffers, imagine that! I later found they cut me, replacing me with another guy because I looked too innocent. Hell, I could have played it mean if they asked. But they didn't.

I went to Hollywood and auditioned for Wild Rovers and had the delight of having Julie Andrews tell me I wasn't ugly enough for the part of Karl Malden's son. Tom Skerritt got the part.

I had a walk-on in Henry Fonda's TV series "The Smith Family" and over the next few years seven or eight TV pilots that never sold. Randy Quaid and I were cast in The Houston Policeman yet as filming got underway, the money backer pulled out. What footage we did ended up a Houston Police Department training film. Randy went on to The Last Detail and an Oscar nomination. I went back to Dallas and starred in a play I wrote. It ran two weeks.

I have done a ton of Industrial Films. One I did for LTV in Dallas in 1973 is still running in some factory somewhere. About 10 years ago a guy asked me if my son ever did a Industrial called "The Death of Attention." No, I said, that was me.

I also did a bunch of TV Commercials. From 1974-1978 I was the "Fuzzy Yellow Slippers Man" for Texas Commerce Bank. An American Express spot I did ran national for a year and earned me $25,000 in 1970's money.

I missed a few I am sure, but that shows what chasing gals, smoking & drinking to a ripe old age can get for you. I haven't acted in several years due to my poor health, but I can still write.

Well, I hope I haven't put you to sleep. If so, pleasant dreams...

53 posted on 02/27/2005 6:41:43 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: Sender

Re: "The only 'sonofatpatcher2' credit in IMDB appears to be an extra from the film 'Gigli'."

Actually, I did the voice over for the turkey in that.

Ja-Lo just couldn't get in the mood to carry it off, don't ya know!


54 posted on 02/27/2005 6:47:29 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: sonofatpatcher2

Okay. Here goes:

The Hole Story

What would we do without holes?
Ever thought about it?
Would Swiss cheese be Swiss without holes?
Never.
Moles would be lost soles, without holes.
A donut would be a roll without a hole.
There is no such thing as a half a hole.
There is half a whole.
But, a hole is a whole hole,
no matter the size or shape.

Holes have condemned by prejudice.
The have been called 'the pits',
or "full of holes" as you might say
this story is.
They leak like a sieve,
which is full of holes.
But, we could not live without holes.

Okay. Flame on.


55 posted on 02/27/2005 6:55:47 PM PST by wizr (Freedom ain't free.)
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To: sonofatpatcher2

What can I say about that gobble? That gobble wasn't a memo. That gobble was an epiphany. I live that gobble every morning. My God, to know who made that gobble! My life is now complete.


56 posted on 02/27/2005 6:56:30 PM PST by Sender (Team Infidel USA)
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To: sonofatpatcher2

and speaking of bar-b-q cook-offs....i just spent five days standing in a parking lot at reliant stadium in houston as one of thousands of volunteers who make this event happen - yes, it's the largest bar-b-q cook-off in the world.....my feet hurt, i've had too much to drink and eat, and i didn't run across the person who passed on the forged papers to cbs....(this is the kickoff to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo) but i had a great time!


57 posted on 02/27/2005 7:00:40 PM PST by BamaDi
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To: wizr
Well, Wizr... I tried to poke holes in your ditty, but no luck.
58 posted on 02/27/2005 7:06:07 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: Sender
Re: "What can I say about that gobble? That gobble wasn't a memo. That gobble was an epiphany. I live that gobble every morning. My God, to know who made that gobble! My life is now complete."

And Don't you forget it!

59 posted on 02/27/2005 7:08:15 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Texas, Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: sonofatpatcher2
Species8472’s Alaskan Chile

Sauté 1 large yellow onion in a cast iron pot with a little bit of corn oil.

Add:
1 ½ lb pork, coarse grind
1 ½ lb beef, coarse grind
½ lb chorizo, (remove casing)

While the meat browns, seed:

3 dried Ancho chilies
3 dried Poblanos negros chilies
3 dried California chilies
5 dried Chitopole chilies

Place the dried chilies in a bowl and cover with boiling water.
!!!WASH YOUR HANDS!!!
(and don’t touch any mucus membranes or delicate body parts)!!!

Stir the meat and add:
4 tablespoons of ground Cumin.
2 tablespoons of Mexican Oregano.

When the meat is brown add a can of diced tomatoes and a can of tomato sauce.

Dump the chili mixture in a blender and blend till smooth.
Add to the meat.

Open a beer, have a sip and add to the pot.
Stir in 1 ½ teaspoons of cinnamon.

Cook 3 hours, add more beer if necessary
Serve with chopped onion and Grated sharp cheddar cheese.

Enjoy!

60 posted on 02/27/2005 7:11:05 PM PST by Species8472
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