Need advice: I have been asked to join a secret society.

Letter ^ | 8/3/05 | Self

[Sam's Army]

So I get home last night and in the mail is an 8 page letter addressed to me with an invitation to join a "secret society". It seems I have been identified by some secret group of famous people who must remain anonymous right now as having "traits" that they are looking for to join their group. This must be something REALLY special, because they apparently only open themselves for new members every 7 years. Not only that, there is no cost to join. All I have to do is respond and I get a free book that details all their secrets to wealth, power, fame, etc.

Now normally, I would shy away from this stuff. I saw "Eyes Wide Shut" a few years ago when it came out and any notion of secret societies just gives me the heebee-jeebees. But, I'm really kinda tired of this whole "working for a living" thing and am thinking about giving it a go. On the other hand, I just know there has to be some level of hazing involved if I do join. I'm not really in the mood to get dropped off out in the wilderness after a 20 mile ride in a trunk of a car with only a quarter.

Does anyone else on FR happen to belong to a secret society? Being that we are Freepers and all, could you just share the secrets with me so that I don't have to take the time to put a stamp on the pre-addressed envelope they sent me for a response?

Oh, and I have to respond by this Friday 8/5 or else the opportunity is lost FOREVER!!. Any advice is appreciated.

[WV Mountain Mama]

You totally suck!!

[spectre]

You nailed it, B4R.

Nova Tech Society will send a FREE pamphlet, but the book has to be ordered and paid for.

Googling is our friend...

sw

[Tolkien]

NUR.... thats "run" spelled backwards!

[tx_eggman]

I tried joining this one because it has a great name but they said I have an appendage that disqualified me:

Secret Society of Lesbian Propellerheads

[Rebelbase]

[redhead]

"I'm a Turtle."

LOL! Yep, me, too. I haven't thought of that for a looooong time. "You bet your sweet *ss I am!"

[PBRSTREETGANG]

I've heard you must use THIS in the secret society:

[Coop]

YES, I belong to a secret society. The "Ancient Order of Druids" but whenever we are asked about our group we are always supposed to lie. In fact "real" druids have many years of training in the art of lying (like ninjas of veracity). As part of our training we must lie at least three times a day, seven days a week. Of course I'm lying right now but you could never detect it because I have been in advanced training in the US House of Representatives as well as the "Ancient Order of Druids"

I don't believe you.

[Indy Pendance]

Cool! I found my membership card a couple months ago, while cleaning my desk!

[Rebelbase]

I belong to the Alt-F4 society.

[HairOfTheDog]

I have been asked to join a secret society.

Well, you blew it... and now they'll have to kill you.

[Restorer]

With regard to you tagline: San Francisco does need a certain number of gynecologists. What it doesn't need is obstetricians.

[Brett66]

LOL! I could see what would happen when I mouse-overed the link, looks like some other people just clicked on it.

[HairOfTheDog]

I was too busy transferring my winning funds from the UK National Lottery.

Cool.... if you run short, I'm about to come into some money from Nigeria.

[Indy Pendance]

I mouse over every link, it's a good practice, you never know what's out there.

[TheBigB]

WE, THE ABOVE, DO INDEED BELONG TO THE SUPERSECRET MASSIVE ORDER OF THE REALLY EXCITING, COOL, OPTIMISTIC, WONDERFUL, BRAINY, EXCELLENT, AND LUCKY LEADERS. YOU MAY KNOW US AS:

M.O.R.E.C.O.W.B.E.L.L.

WE HAVE IDENTIFIED YOU, SAMS ARMY, AS A POTENTIAL MEMBER. WE SHALL EXPLORE THE STUDIO SPACE WITH THIS POSSIBILITY.

REMEMBER OUR MOTTO: "WE PUT OUR PANTS JUST LIKE YOU--ONE LEG AT A TIME. EXCEPT, ONCE OUR PANTS ARE ON, WE RULE THE WORLD!"

[katana]

New Jersey! Legit! Gotta be!

Oh, G*d! Please make me stop laughing!

[hford02]

You don't believe me because my lies are so skillfull.

[Coop]

It's human nature. :-) I wouldn't remember that ol' trick if I hadn't fallen for it previously.

What do you want to bet that someone went crying to the mods over it? :-)

[NRA1995]

I must raise a practical question at this point.....are we gonna do "Stonhenge" tonight?

NO, WE'RE NOT GONNA DO F*KING "STON 'ENGE"!!